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Reviews Comments: Best Sleep I've Had In Months Twilight whole series review by Queen of Dorkness

My friends, an English teacher, and a couple librarians thought that this is a wonderful, phenomenal, fantastic, great, superlative, awesome, et cetera series. The internet thought this series was offensive, poorly-written, plotless, and worth going into a frothing rage over. I've learned, over the years, to approach any book with no expectations at all. It's safer that way. What I have to say about each book: Twilight: It's "meh". It's So Average It's Horrible. Contemplation made me hate the abuse in Bella and Edward's relationship-term-used-loosely, but I couldn't notice that stuff while I was reading it because this book was so dull my brain literally shut down. New Moon: Jacob. I love Jacob. He's nice, he's cheerful, he has interests outside of Bella, and he makes me think that maybe it's not so horrible to create a character just so he can love another character. The ten blank pages, though are pure Narm, and this volume inspires a lot of Fridge Logic that I don't have room to discuss here. Eclipse: The writing was... better. There's an actual plot. Bella seems to occasionally show signs of internal conflict. That's the good stuff. The bad stuff was that Edward is back and more controlling than ever (this time I managed to be offended while actually reading the book). Poor Jacob has suffered Character Derailment. We all knew how it was going to end (actually, that's applicable to the entire series). Rosalie, however, gets backstory and becomes extremely sympathetic. Alice is beginning to get on my nerves. Please shut her up. Breaking Dawn: Yuck. Meyer breaks the laws of her universe. There's even more fridge logic. It's utterly squicktastic. Renesmee is way too perfect. I found myself actually liking the Vatica...I mean, Volturi. They make sure that the murderous vampires who would endanger not only themselves but all vampires and the vampires' primary food source behave. Why, though, are they so obsessed with Bella? Edward's mind reading and/or Alice's precognition would be way more useful to them than Bella's "love shield". TL;DR: They're useful and entertaining only for the Bile Fascination, seeing what all the hype is about, as an example of how not to write a book, and possibly as a narcotic.


  • WillyFourEyes
  • 15th Nov 09
Not bad, but the review currently reads like a Wall Of Text and is hard to digest all at once. Maybe you should try using double line breaks to space things up a bit.
  • Morgie
  • 11th Feb 10
It's not quite a love shield, just a shield. And I can see why they'd go for Bella, because Alice wasn't there and Aro can pretty much do what Edward does.
  • LOLin8or
  • 9th Oct 10
Same thing with me. However, I found this a legit reason to become a hater.

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