This is a generally adequate story in the basic technical sense (grammar, spelling, etc.), but is not perfectly assembled when you look at all of those pieces as a whole. It's good, but if it has a major failing, it would be that the story has the potential to be truly amazing. It's not bad — it's actually pretty good. The pacing starts off very solidly, with the story generally divisible into four acts. The introduction/retrospective history (with perhaps too much emphasis on showing, instead of telling). The introduction of conflict (very well done). The change of the dynamic, and finally, the reveal/conclusion (these two would have really shined with a bit more focus on those areas). It's an AU, portraying Yuki as a (relatively) normal human. She doesn't adjust entirely to the world around her, so she still has some social woes. The begining of the story explores this at length, and develops a Yuki that is not the Yuki of the canon, but still a complete character. The other members of the cast aren't given as much time to show their new depth, by comparison, but the story still moves compellingly. The only real disappointment is that the ending could use some refinement — it does feel a bit rushed in place. But really ... not that much. Some readers may have an issue with characterization, but then, this is an AU, and some of the character interrelationships map quite nicely.... A brilliant story with only a 'very good' delivery. That probably sounds far more dismissive than this story deserves — to be honest, it's probably at a 7.5/10, and only the fact that it's so very close to being perfect makes me so critical. Worth a read.
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