If I were to describe Johnny Test in seven words, it would be "the cancer that is killing Cartoon Network."

First, let us talk about presentation. The show is yet another Canadian Flash cartoon, which becomes obvious with the lazy tweening and sub-par animation, as if the show was made on a $20 budget. However, sound effects apparently do not cost a dime, seeing as how electric guitar riffs, stock sounds ripped from 90s-era websites, and whip cracks dominate every scene.

Now for the main cast. Every character in Johnny Test is one-dimensional and bland: Johnny is your regular 11-year-old asshole who never gets karmic retribution for his douchy actions, Dukey is his equally boring foil, and Mary and Susan are supposed teen geniuses who lose all intelligence when staring at their next-door neighbor. Everybody else follows the same pattern (one of Johnny's teachers is actually called Mr. Teacherman, as if his entire life revolved around being a mean teacher), but one thing holds the same for every character: they panic. A lot. Seriously, it is like the voice actors were instructed to scream or use loud tones in every other sentence for fear of losing the minuscule attention spans of the show's audience.

At this point, I would delve into the show's plot. The problem is that none exists. Every single episode is made of cliches crudely held together with the characters mentioned above. For the most part, Johnny wants to do something cool, he asks his sisters to invent something to help him, things spiral out of control, and Johnny saves the day so that he can be a dick again tomorrow. Yeah, there are some other plots (generic villain team-up episode, Johnny squaring off against Bling-Bling Boy for the billionth time, etc.), but they are hardly worth mentioning.

Normally, I would not have paid any attention to this pitiful excuse for entertainment if Cartoon Network had not adopted it and aired it every waking hour. But they did, and I suffered for it. Since I am running out of word space here, I will summarize: this show is bad. Stay away from it. If you have nothing else to watch but this show, then read a goddamn book instead. Dostoevsky and Tolstoy may not be exciting, but at least they can write.

P.S. I would write a Big Time Rush review, but it would just be copying and pasting this one.