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Reviews Comments: Fuck You, Warner Bros. Justice League 2017 film/book review by samsandoa

Justice League was easily the worst superhero film that I have seen in the year 2017. This was a year that had previously given us Logan (the greatest film in the X-men series), Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (a funny, yet thought-provoking film about the meaning of family), Wonder Woman (the first film in the DCEU that doesn\'t suck), Spider-man: Homecoming (Spider-man\'s successful transition to the MCU), and Thor: Ragnarok (easily the strongest film in the Thor series to date). Every single one of those films were both critically and financially successful. By the time it finishes its theatrical run (most likely December 15, go ahead and guess why), Justice League will turn out to be NEITHER. To have the year end with a polished turd like Justice League, that isn\'t just an embarrassment to Warner Bros. or DC Comics. It\'s an embarrassment to the entire superhero film genre in general. It is certainly a step back from Wonder Woman.

This film suffers from all of the usual problems which seem to plague every other film in the DCEU (with Wonder Woman being the outstanding exception): bad screenwriting, bad acting, bad characterization, bad lighting and visual effects, bad pacing for the plot, and more. Following his resurrection, Superman effortlessly beats the big bad into submission. His very presence within the setting effectively renders the rest of the league obsolete. Batman and Wonder Woman were both portrayed well, but that was mainly due to them having more lines and screen-time than anyone else. Barry Allen\'s character felt as if he would be more at home in an MCU film than anything which has Zack Snyder\'s name on it. Cyborg had no personality outside of self-pity, and the film gave me no reason to care about this character. He could have died at any point in the story, and I would have barely noticed. Aquaman was completely worthless and contributed nothing of value to the rest of the team. You could have easily given his spot to Green Lantern or Martian Manhunter and it would have made zero difference.

Steppenwolf and his parademons flat out sucked. They were weaker than General Zod and his Kryptonian Army, yet shared the same evil plan (turning earth into a replica of their homeworld). No wonder Superman stomped his ass so quickly. This film is basically a crappier remake of Man of Steel (another DCEU film that sucked).

How the hell can a film with a $300 million budget have such cheap-looking CGI effects (Cyborg\'s body, Flash\'s running, Superman\'s lip)?

This film has only two saving graces: the soundtrack and the fight scenes, both of which are awesome, and neither of which are good enough to justify watching this film more than once.

Watching Justice League is like seeing a dumpster filled with $100 bills burn for 1 hour and 59 minutes. I\'m sure the studio feels the same way, since they\'re on track to lose millions of dollars thanks to this box office bomb. Go watch Thor: Ragnarok instead. Fuck you, Warner Bros.

Comments

  • Pannic
  • 22nd Nov 17
Holy shit there have been six superhero movies this year? Fuck...
  • Bastard1
  • 22nd Nov 17
Don't worry, WB are planning on making lootboxes a real life thing. That's right, for only <insert ridiculous price point in your local currency here> you will have a 1/138 chance of unlocking the Actually Good Cut of the movie.
  • TommyFresh
  • 23rd Nov 17
Gotta love that patented \"20-minute longer extended cut that magically fixes all of the movie\'s problems and makes it 100% better\".
  • Pannic
  • 23rd Nov 17
Remember when extended cuts were for movies that you already liked but just allowed you to get a little more of the director\'s vision that had to be removed initially for the sake of expediency?
  • NordRonnoc
  • 23rd Nov 17
Like the Lord of the Rings films? Yep, I remember.
  • YasminPerry
  • 23rd Nov 17
Fuck you, really? It\'s just a movie.
  • samsandoa
  • 24th Nov 17
No, you're wrong. This wasn't "just a movie". This was the first ever live-action Justice League film ever to be produced. You know, the Justice League, the single biggest and most iconic superhero team in American comic book history. Bigger than the Avengers, bigger than the Justice Society (who technically preceded them), bigger than every other superhero team full stop. We deserve so much better than the aggressively-mediocre, money-burning film that Warner Bros. dumped on us in 2017. Do you know that Warner Bros. currently own the film rights to every character and franchise in DC Comics? And that they have held all of those film rights since the 1970s? Do you know what that means? It means that they could have given us a Justice League movie in the 1970s, the 1980s, the 1990s, and the 2000s, but pointedly refused to do so. These assholes had DECADES of time to produce and release a quality Justice League film, but instead, they gave us SUPERMAN, SUPERMAN, SUPERMAN, SUPERMAN, BATMAN, BATMAN, BATMAN, BATMAN, BATMAN, SUPERMAN, BATMAN, BATMAN. That's 5 Superman films, 7 Batman films, and ZERO Justice League films from 1978 to 2012 (notice how I left out Man of Steel, since that film belongs to the same series as Justice League 2017). After all of the time they had to work on this film, this was really the best that they could do? No, fuck this movie, and fuck the studio that made it, too.
  • samsandoa
  • 24th Nov 17
Let us imagine for a moment that time travel was possible, and that you had a time machine that could physically transport you back to the year 2008. This was the year in which Warner Bros. released The Dark Knight, one of the greatest superhero films of all time (both in terms of critical response and box office success), a film that smashed records all over the place. This was also the year in which the Marvel Cinematic Universe was officially born, with Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk both being released. Nobody outside of the comic book industry and fan base even knew who Iron Man was at that point in time. If you had walked into both Warner Bros. Studio and Marvel Studio that year and told everybody that one day, a live-action marvel film featuring Hulk and Thor (another superhero who was relatively unknown by the general public in 2008) was going to make more money than the first ever live-action Justice League film, I promise you, you would have been laughed out of both buildings. But fast forward to 2017 (not even a decade later), and that is exactly what happened. Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman (three of the most iconic and profitable superheroes in comic book history) all got their asses kicked at the box office by THOR. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a testament to the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the failure of the DC Extended Universe.
  • YasminPerry
  • 25th Nov 17
Geez, dude, calm down XD
  • KarkatTheDalek
  • 25th Nov 17
I understand your frustration, but this is all coming across as a touch melodramatic.
  • VeryMelon
  • 25th Nov 17
Gotta love seeing fan meltdowns like this.
  • Saveelich
  • 26th Nov 17
The Dark Knight is a great thriller starring a version of Batman and some of his rogues gallery, not a superhero movie. Nolan is seemingly afraid of superpowers, didn\'t want his baby to be more fantastical, didn\'t want to extend his trilogy into a universe (Snyder or not).
  • marcellX
  • 26th Nov 17
Nolan is seemingly afraid of superpowers

Or he realizes that Batman is at his best on a grounded setting. After all, more than half his villains don\'t have superpowers. The Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, Two-face, Catwoman, Hugo Strange, the Ventriloquist, Falcone.
  • KarkatTheDalek
  • 26th Nov 17
\"realizes\" implies an objective truth. Certainly, Nolan seems to have felt that a more grounded setting was preferable for Batman, and he does indeed work well within such a setting. That being the case, though, I do think that Batman can work well in a more fantastical environment - it\'s just a question of doing it well.

Actually, going back to the grounded setting thing, if I had one complaint about the Dark Knight, it\'s that Gotham doesn\'t really feel like Gotham, it feels like Chicago, and not even an especially gritty Chicago, I think - it\'s too slick. Gotham ought to have more of a gothic feel to it, in my opinion. That does tie into what Saveelich was alluding to - aesthetic-wise, it does kind of feel like a thriller with Batman\'s name attached to it, and I feel like they could do more with that.

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