I owe you all an apology, and not just because if there\'s one thing the world doesn\'t need more of, it\'s complaints about Death Battles. I\'ve written two reviews of episodes I loved, and two reviews about episodes I didn\'t love, and I was perfectly content to leave it there. I had bored you all enough. Then Cammy VS Sonya came out and... this is bad. Really bad. Honestly, a new low in some ways. And once again, this is a Death Battle where I honestly couldn\'t care less about the characters, I just wanted to be mildly entertained for a few minutes. And for the most part, I was! Good points; they have a new animator for 2D fights and it\'s actually really well-done. There are a few too many close-ups, which do not work well at all for heavily-pixelated characters, but it looks good, it really does. And the research is decent too, it goes into the history of both characters well. And I don\'t even think they got the result wrong. Where things go wrong are the calculations; the worst calculations they\'ve ever done, by far. Worse than pillars and super-lava combined. See, back in Season 1, when they had a battle like Batman VS Spider-Man, they didn\'t have to come up with arbitrary numbers to put on feats; they just described the characters, their strengths and weaknesses, and came to a conclusion based on that. But now it seems that every episode demands a mandatory visit to the \'Board of Wizdom\', which, in Cammy VS Sonya, utilizes some of the worst Insane Troll Logic Chewbacca Defense I\'ve ever seen. This is where my title starts to make sense, because their reasoning is this. Regarding Cammy\'s durability, Cammy has fought Balrog. (The boxer? Okay.) Balrog once punched an elephant so hard that it died. (So we\'re talking about Balrog now?) Some elephants knock down trees with their faces! (... ?) Some trees require up to 10,000 pounds to be knocked down! (?!?!?) This means Cammy can withstand 10,000 pounds of force! (What the fucking what?) I don\'t have to explain how this is bad, right? Speculations and assumptions all around - did they make this up on the fly? Are they trying to say that Cammy can knock down trees with her face? Then there\'s Sonya, and it gets worse. Her entire library of stats comes from the \'Test Your Might\' mini-game that any Mortal Kombat character can do - may I remind you that Sonya is the sixth Mortal Kombat character on the show, and they\'ve never used this mini-game for stats before - where she can punch an anvil in half. Not only is it blatantly obvious that this is not canon in any way, but as a mini-game, it depends entirely on player input, something we\'re repeatedly told they\'re not allowed to take into account with RPG characters. I swear, I really do like this show, but... eurgh. This feels beyond rushed, and I can\'t believe for a second that they thought these were acceptable explanations. It\'s only irritating because we all know by now that they can do so, so much better than this.
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