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Reviews Comments: How I Wasted My Birthday Legion film/book review by ngrey 651

Early in the year, I wasted 80 or so minutes of my birthday. Watching this movie. Boy, was I dumb. Boy, was that movie dumb. And I mean really, REALLY full of itself dumb.

Yes, it had some very decent characterization in it, very nice action scenes and the idea of being stuck in an enclosed place while trying to make sure the main character gives birth successfully turns the film into a "Breakfast Club from Hell" kind of deal. But the plot? PHBBT. B-movie. Not even, really. Apparently God has utterly lost all faith in Humanity and sends angels to (I couldn't make this up if I tried) possess the bodies of "the weak-hearted", which ranges from grannies to LAPD to little kids. And why? To exterminate humanity like we're cockroaches and they're divine pest control.

Though the ultimate goal, and once again, I remind you I couldn't make this up if I to kill an unborn child that belongs to the main character, Charlie, cuz he's going to be the Messiah and God's sick of second chances.

First of all, isn't this breaking his covenant with humanity? You'd think, if nothing else, an almighty God would be the one to keep his promises. "I won't ever try to wipe you out like I did with the flood ever again". Furthermore, possessing little kids and grannies to kill a BABY? God's acting an awful lot like Satan. Oh, and let's not forget one poor schmuck is (rememberI'mnotmakingthisup) NAILED UPSIDE DOWN TO A CROSS, COVERED WITH ACID-FILLED BOILS WHICH EVENTUALLY EXPLODE.

Yeah, it's okay to WIPE OUT AN ENTIRE SPECIES BY USING THE MOST UNDERHANDED METHODS POSSIBLE. You can do that because you're God. Jewish people believe that even God is to be held accountable to the force of Justice...and clearly, these are the actions of neither a just god...nor a loving god.

There is only one really good thing about this movie. The end comes with a flashback voiceover. "I asked my mother why God would stop loving his children. "I don't know" she told me, wrapping her arms around me. "I guess he just got tired of the bullshit"."

That's actually pretty freakin' badass right there. The rest?...nah. The action scenes and the few instances of good character dialogue can't save this movie's horrible, pathetic plot, which really, REALLY reaches and falls totally short, even by it's own standards.


  • melloncollie
  • 4th Oct 10
I think it's funny that you liked the characters. I didn't really find any of them to be that sympathetic, except the two black guys and maybe the teenage girl.

I thought the action wasn't that good either. Breaking the old lady's neck doesn't kill her, but shooting her does? What? Why do some of the possessed people get superpowers like Spider Granny but the rest of them shuffle around like ordinary zombies? There wasn't enough of it either to be entertaining, too much talking and "character development" and not enough shooting/horror.

Most of the things meant to be scary completely failed, either due to Special Effects Failure (ice cream truck man), narm ("I just want to play with your baby!"), or poor marketing decisions (all the suspense of the Spider Granny scene was completely gone because of the fact that they showed almost all of it in the trailer).

  • GriffinPilgrim
  • 5th Apr 11
Seems like most of your critism is based on the fact that the film doesn't match up to the standard Judeo-Christian view of God. But why should it? It's a work of fiction, not a theology lecture. It can portray God however it wants. That's why tropes like God Is Evil are on this wiki.
  • Gannetwhale
  • 26th Jul 11
Pretty much. This reviews amounts to whining about the fact that God is not a mary sue
  • Tomwithnonumbers
  • 26th Jul 11
I guess, considering God already has weight in an audience's mind, then there's a kinda expectation, that the changes will at least feel satisfying and well explained.

The big thing is, you ask why the perception of God should fit with the judeo-christian view, well the problem is that the movie IS using the (not even the jewish) but christian God, to fill it's narrative structure. You've got a second coming, Angels etc.

So the movie is actually expecting you to use your knowledge of God to help fill the structure of the plot. But then it doesn't fill it's promise, because it then doesn't actually use the character it established.

To be honest this movie always seemed to be marketed as a "What if Hitler was a really nice guy!" style movie, all about shock and subverting expectations, so I'm not really surprised, but just like the Hitler-nice movie, if they don't give any explanation it's always going to feel a little shallow, and if the dude wants to criticise a movie for that, why not?
  • Gannetwhale
  • 30th Aug 11
The thing is, the reviwer is not even right in biblical knowledge, considering what happens in Revelation. So while there is a lot to complain about this movie, God Is Evil is the smallest of all flaws.

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