It's really hard to even think of anything to say about this movie. I've already watched this thing twice, I've wasted three hours of my life trying to understand it, and I'm still coming up with nothing. Just trying to write something coherent about this "movie" turned out to be a nearly impossible task, because for the life of me, I could simply not fathom what I had witnessed. All I got from the experience was the undeniable knowledge that I had just witnessed the worst goddamn movie I've ever seen in my life.

If I still had to describe this film somehow, the best analogy I've been able to come up with is this: After Last Season is to Monster A Go Go what The Room is to Manos The Hands Of Fate. The latter movies are both entertaining in their ineptitude, the kind where things actually happen, and there are easy things for the viewer to point at and laugh at. In the case of the former, however, there's just nothing to work with. All you're doing is just watching people talk about nothing of interest, interspersed with the most shockingly awful 3D graphics I've seen since Bubsy 3D.

I don't mean to brag, but even the pathetically simplistic maps I made for Unreal Tournament 2004 when I was a teen were more professional-looking than this garbage. You can claim Stylistic Suck all you like, but when you use Stylistic Suck, you need to use it to make a point. Here, the crude 3D is absolutely pointless, and the fact that the 3D sequences swallow up what feels like a silent eternity is absolutely inexcusable. And better yet, there really is literally no point to the 3D at all, because the 3D bits turn out to be part of an elaborate dream sequence that doesn't actually have any impact on the story at all! There is no symbollism, no foreshadowing, just a complete waste of time!

After Last Season has made me madder at a movie than I've ever been, not because it's overrated or pretentious, but simply because it fails to entertain in any aspect. But at the same time, I want more people to hear about it, in a weird Bile Fascination sort of way. Film professors tend to have a saying that you can learn much more from a bad movie than a good one, and in this case, After Last Season is the perfect guide on how to screw up every possible aspect of filmmaking and waste the viewer's time. Thanks, Index Square!