More like Narm Charm! I loved it, at any moment I was either laughing with the film or at it. What other film is going to play a Dad using his son as a crossbow for drama? Or have dwarves form an incredibly complex shield wall only for elves to jump over the top of it and fight the orcs hand to hand? Or would cast Billy Connelly as the leader of one of their five armies? No over film this year is going to have Richard Armitage tripping out and believing he's drowning in a whirlpool of gold, I can tell you that.
It made me more positive about the whole trilogy. The Hobbit is meant to be a bunch of silly fun and you're not going to find a sillier film this year.
I really enjoyed the film, but do share some of Porcelana Man's issues, and some of my own. Namely: - Far too much screentime was given to the random, non-canon character Alfrid - seriously, how many times do we get a lame gag about how weasly he is, and for him to then be called out on said weasliness by Bard/random women etc. This takes up valuable screentime that could have been dedicated to characters like Beorn and the original company of dwarves, both of which are essentially cameos in this movie! - The white council scenes were amazing, but the actual titular battle of the five armies was quite sloppy and often confusing in terms of the positioning of the various forces and how it all flowed together. This wasn't helped by the fact that Dain's warriors are all wearing full sets of silver armour, which is just the same colour as the orc's armour - the whole thing becomes one big greyish blur. - I (controversially) did not actually like Dain - not for his look or behaviour (which was awesome), but rather because I am so familiar with Billy Conelly's distinct voice and comedic schtick that it pulled me right out of the movie as soon as he opened his mouth!
All are minor issues, and the film was a great conclusion, but I just wonder why PJ decided to dial back the screentime for the original company at the expense of unfunny, non-canon characters like Alfrid? Odd decision if you ask me.
Tomwithnonumbers: problem is, at least for me, is that the movie doesn't try to be silly like, say, An Unexpected Jurney(which is my favorite). It feels like PJ was trying to recapture the atmosphere of LOTR here(and in Desolation of Smaug, on a lesser extent), but falls flat, 'cause this is an adaptation of a CHILDREN'S book, not a adult novel like LOTR, thus the narm.
lexii: I think Bilbo got the worst treatment here. I mean, he went from the protagonist to a forgetable secundary character on the course of the trilogy. Which is a shame, because he is easily one of the most engaging characters of the franchise, right there with Sam and Gandalf. And damn, Alfrid's a non-canon character? Really need to rewatch the original trilogy, i thought he was the same guy as the councilman of Rohan's King!
...in hindsight, that only makes his survival more infuriating.
I'm not creative enough to come up with a signature line yet.
I can understand that. There's definitely some deliberate attempts at being silly (the troll battering ram for one) and I'm even open to the slipping on ice thing being deliberately silly. But I was definitely enjoying parts that weren't meant to be funny but were anyway :p
Eh, just five narmies is pretty low for The Hobbit series actually.
So was The Dresden Files reference an insult or a compliment, I really can't tell which.
I'm a geek.
It feels like there were a bunch of additional shots recorded for just the extended edition. For instance, if Azog went into the ice, and immediately cut to Thorin getting stabbed from below, then it would work a lot better than just staring at the enemy under the ice.
illegitematus non carborundum est
James Picard: Neither. It was just a comparison. Jim Butcher is a skilled enough writer that most of his Shout Out comedy is still funny even if you don't get the reference.
fenrisulfur: Another thing that bugged me about the movie, the editing is just crap. I mean, you have to make a few cuts here and there to keep the movies on a reasonable lenght, i get that, but the way they did it was just incompetent, at the very least. Probably on purpose so that more people will want to buy the extended version, the cheap fucks.
I'm not creative enough to come up with a signature line yet.
If I may add as well, Tauriel was given far far too much screen time.
"doesn't change the fact that this is one of the worst adaptations of Tolkien's work, ever"
You say you don't want to attack people for their opinions. Then don't go loudly declaring your own opinion to be a fact.
Leave a Comment:
The Battle of Five Narmies
Pure, undiluted narm. This is what this movie is, an exercise in narm escalation. The way Sauron was defeated was narm(What's up with Galadriel's voice?). The fight with Azog was narmy(Really, Peter Jackson? Throwing him inside a frozen lake?). EVERY SINGLE DEATH was narm(Except Smaug's).
And i must say, i'm quite surprised how PJ tried to make a movie with only one character. Thorin is the only person who gets any sort of development here(And, guess what? It's narm), everyone else being mere plot devices, appearing to advance the plot and then becoming part of the furniture.
And if you think the first movie had a bad pacing, you're in for a hell of a surprise. The first hour is just a looooooooooong and slow build up to a epic battle that never really happens, because the movie loses whatever energy it had once it begins. It's as if PJ just wanted to get this over with,and the entire thing just feels rather tok(i)en.
In fact, it's pretty obvious that PJ wasn't trying to make this film stand on his own merits. I say that because there's a lot of Shout Outs to LOTR. An absurd amount of them. Enough to make The Dresden Files pale in comparison. It's like TBOTFA knows it's a crappy movie and tries to make enough connections to the original trilogy so the older fans can feel a sense of smug satisfaction for getting them,ignoring the hidious amount of flaws this poor excuse of a movie has.
Now, the movie has it's monments:Dain Ironfoot is pure awesome(even though he only appears for 3 scenes at most), the fight between Legolas and CGI Orc Nº4073 is the best one-on-one coflict in the franchise IMO, and the initial battle with Smaug is one of the highest, if not the highest, point in the trilogy.
But those are just small chocolate truffles in the middle of a sea of shit, and doesn't change the fact that this is one of the worst adaptations of Tolkien's work, ever, and a desapointing end to what could have been a great trilogy.
P.S: I know this review is quite vitrolic, but please, if you like this film, don't take this as some sort of personal attack on your beliefs or something. If you want to have some kind of debate here, do so in a civil manner.
P.S.S: Sorry for all the puns, BTW. It's stronger than me, really.