All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread

Mahora, the largest school that sits under the fabled World Tree. The academy of magic and wonders.

CLAMP Gakuen, the capital of games and competitions. Where everything from Angelic Layers to card games to tank combat to miniature Gundam models can be used as a means to prove superiority.

Ohtori, the refinated school for the top of the elite, where public corruption is strictly banned and both subversive meetings for the perverse and bizarre duels for the future of mankind are held in secret under the perfume of the roses.

Honnouji, the school the others do not dare talking about, the Prison School, where survival of the fittest is the daily motto, where the children of the mafia families attend classes, where the reincarnated warriors from yesterday wage war against each other, split into factions.

What will become of these Rival Schools in the dawn of this new era?

—-

Magic is what you want it to be.

Lesson Two: The Aristocrats.

Ohtori, the refined school

Omake! Lala's Other Childhood Friends!

It was pretty obvious, pretty soon, Lala wouldn't be any more interested on taking either of them as her consorts than they would be on her.

Well, actually, Uxas' boy seemed to have a definite interest on her, but Gid highly doubted those interests would ever include marriage. Mainly because the boy was unlikely to ever understand what marriage actually meant.

"He fell off his cradle a lot," Uxas somberly stated as the three fathers sat overlooking the smoking, charred playground below the balcony.

"You mean you threw him off his cradle a lot," Cold corrected while sipping his tea, a pinky elegantly raised as he held the tiny cup.

"No," Uxas said. "I only would throw him off AFTER he had fallen off his cradle. And then I would throw him off A BURNING CLIFF. I never half-do things, you imbecile. Sadly, it never finished the job."

"On the plus side, it made him all that stronger, didn't it?" Gid shrugged indifferently.

Uxas ran a hand down his rocky face. "You call that a blessing, fool? Why did he have to be powerful enough as to survive his early childhood, but not enough as to make me proud? Why did fate confabulate against my pride in such a precise way?"

"You always could just zap him," Cold reminded him, pointing at one of his own eyes.

"I could," Uxas admitted, "but then who would I have to offer in marriage to unfit suitors?"

Gid snorted. "It's hardly our fault if Azusa's daughter rejected him, Uxas—"

"DARKSEID!"

"— but even if your runt had been worth anything at all, what made you ever think the Jurai would ever want to marry out of their family?"

"Seriously, those people are seriously creepy," Cold shook his head in disgust.

"Anyway," Gid shook a hand around. "If I gave you two this audience it was only to humor you idiots. As if Lala would ever have the bad taste required to marry Prince Effeminate Psycho and Prince Crazy Dog."

"Well, as if my son ever had any willingness to marry Princess Cloudcuckooland!" Cold spat venomously. "I mean, not even if we had an actual gender! Then we'd still pick our political allegiances more carefully!"

Darkseid poured himself another cup of steaming black coffee, hotter than the hellpits of Apokolips. "As for me, I was just taking my mutt out for a walk. And I will admit I do like your bride's coffee. I shall keep her along as my coffeemaking slave after the Anti-Life spreads over the universe."

"Really, Uxas—" Cold began.

"DARKSEID!"

"— you should let that Anti-Life Equation nonsense go already," Cold continued. "I know your dear mother favored that old fairy tale above all others, but that doesn't mean you should place any faith on it..."

"POMPOUS CRETIN! I *WILL*, SOON, OH SO DELIGHTFULLY SOON, DISCOVER THE SECRETS OF THE ALMIGHTY EQUATION, AND THEN YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC DOMAINS SHALL CRACK UNDER DARKSEID'S MIGHTY BOOT!"

Gid and Cold shared a jaded, eye rolling glare, and then Gid shrugged. "Whatever."

They were distracted by the Memorzian child's anguished yelp as Lala lifted the large chunk of debris he had been hiding under. Her face beamed a bright, wonderful smile as she stood over the crouched, terrified and paralyzed tiny gray haired boy in a frilly pink dress. "Ah-ha! Crybaby Ren! We found you! So tag, you're it!" she giggled as she gently patted him on a shoulder. "Now YOU have to find US!"

The tiny inhuman looking pale boy with horns and a long pointy tail blinked. "Wait. I thought we were supposed to KILL him after finding him...?"

"I thought we were goin' to eat 'im?" the fauntleroy-clad Kalibak scratched his long, wild mane in confusion.

Lala shook her head while slapping away Kalibak's right hand, which was trying to lift her skirt now. "This variant of the game doesn't go like that..."

Frieza-kun pouted and snorted. "So lame! All of MY games go that way!"

Ren hiccuped in terror, sobbed and fainted back.

—-

"—- and that was the second worst day of my life," a shuddering Ren told Rito and Haruna, running his trembling hands through his hair.

"I'm almost afraid to ask, how was the absolute worst one?" Haruna asked.

Rito shook his head and gently pulled her back while Ren began crying desperately...

Morisato Keiichi finally made it back to his small bedroom without even bothering to turn the lights on. The place was so tight and he had memoried it so well since his transferral from Nekomi, he didn't even need to. As he dragged his tired steps across the floor, he took his pants and shirt off, carelessly leaving them aside and then plopping on his back on the bed, in his boxers and undershirt, blocking his eyes with a forearm.

On one hand, it was nice to be finally living on his own, without having to worry about the opression and often irrational demands from Tamiya, Ootaki and the rest of his sempais at Nekomi. On the other hand, it also had started to feel oddly... lonely. Spending so much time with Skuld and others who were so much younger than him (or at least looked and acted the part) had alienated him from his new peers in the Mahora college-aged community even before he could start trying to socialize with them (which had never been his strongest point to begin with). Maybe he should ask for a roommate? Someone to really connect with, a male his own age to bond up like actual bros, someone like...

He heard a loud, gruff growl coming from a frighteningly close distance, and pulled the forearm off his eyes. Then he was staring up directly at a gigantic man, a mountain of a musclebound brute in sleek, elegant butler regalia, with a face only a lovesick blind mother could love, and a really bad small wig on the top of his head. That person was standing right behind his bed and stared down at him with a cold sneer of inhuman contempt.

For the briefest of moments, Keiichi wondered if he had somehow, against all odds, snuck into his room BEFORE his own arrival and just waited there for him without him noticing him while he entered. Or if he had just snuck in AFTER he tucked himself in bed, which seemed even more outrageous and unbelievable. The man looked as stealthy as a train out of control, and—

"Ahh," Keiichi began saying, a hand idly reaching for the Pactio card on his nightstand, before the giant just reached down to easily grab him and pick him up like a kitten. Using a single hand. Then he fell unconscious, mercifully with no pain at all.

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own Mahou Sensei Negima!

Kumeta Koji and Kodansha created and own Sayonara, Zetsubou Sensei.

Fujishima Kosuke and Kodansha created and own Aa! Megamisama!

Hasemi Saki, Yabuki Kentaro and Koda— Shueisha created and own To Love-Ru.

—-

Enemies of All Mankind.

An Unequally Rational and Emotional What If? Special.

—-

"Hey, Rito," the spiky-haired Saruyama Kenichi said. "There's something I need to ask you." He wasn't aware he was starting that conversation in what had to be one of the worst possible ways, since he was an idiot.

"Huh? Oh, sure, then ask," Yuuki Rito said, stopping before he could turn the hallway's corners to head back home.

His black haired best friend looked all around, snapping his head quickly from one side to another, and then looked directly into his eyes, asking bluntly, "Is it true? That you're in that English Research Society with all of those hot girls?"

The friendly smile dropped from the orange haired boy's face, replaced by a grimace of emotional exhaustion. "Oh. Oh, so you heard that already. Well, yeah, it's Haruna-chan's club, well, one of them at least, and since I have no interest on Library Exploration or manga, well..."

"Rito!" Saruyama quickly grabbed Rito's shoulders, squeezing them tightly. "Get me a seat in that club, too!"

Since he had been half-expecting, half-dreading, that reaction from him for a while now, Rito did not freak out, something that he reserved for his interactions with women, and instead just calmly pulled Saruyama's hands off himself. "I'm sorry, pal. I really am. But I'm afraid we've already reached our membership numbers limits for the time being, and, well, I don't think you'd be qualified for membership anyway..."

"Don't give me that crap, you Judas!" Kenichi cried, and somewhere, a certain Karin sneezed. "Your English grades aren't much better than mine! And a single more member won't make any difference! Use your contacts and influences for your best bud for once, will you?!"

Then a terrifying voice crept into his ear from behind, and Kenichi's skin crawled as a foreboding tone crooned ominuously, "Using such underhandled subterraneanfuge is corrupt and inethical, Saruyama-san..." Suzushiro Haruka warned, and he quickly pulled himself away, not even minding he had just wasted an unique chance to press his back against the School Student Vice President's large breasts. "Just for that," the blond young woman pointed a swirly tipped finger at him now they were facing each other, with a sighing Rito in the middle, "you have my vote against membreshock for you at any time! Now scram! It's wrong to waste afterclass time, *and* distract your classmates from their club activities!"

"Y-Y-Yes, Ma'am! Sorry I bothered you, Ma'am!" Saruyama quickly saluted before giving Rito a brief killer stare and then running away, past the corner and out of sight.

Rito shook his head sadly. "And there he goes, the only friend I ever had..."

"Didn't sound like too much of a friend to me," Haruka opined, "and besides, you don't need him anymore now you've got Ala Alba, right? Come on, Evangeline-san is waiting for us."

"Yes, Ma'am," Rito copied Saruyama's words, but with a far more sedate and depressed tone, as he followed her away. "Whatever you say, Ma'am."

"Oh, don't be such a crybaby," Haruka grumbled as she walked on, hands on her hips. "Don't you realize how much better you have it than that poor fellow?"

He didn't have it in him to tell her that was, in a way, part of the whole problem.