All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread

Negi sped along in the dark, riding his staff through the night. Normally he wouldn't risk being seen, but this was something of an emergency. Besides, nobody was around here at three in the morning, and even if he was seen, no one would believe them anyway.

He rounded the corner, and the convenience store came into view. At the end of the block, he hopped off the staff and stashed it behind some bushes. As he approached the store, he could vaguely see Sayo hanging in the air, waving at him. She was getting better at becoming corporeal without the aid of Eva's voodoo doll. He waved back.

“Good evening, sensei!” She giggled. “Second food run tonight, huh? Who sent you this time, Yue or Nodoka?”

“Uh...” His face flushed slightly as he scratched his head. “Acutally...it's...uh...Chisame...”

“Oh.” She smirked, obviously trying to hold back laughter. “I guess it was only a matter of time, what with the way you-”

“I know, I know.” He brushed past her. “Just please keep an eye on my staff. It's been a long day...” He sighed.

“It's okay, I understand.” She tried to strike a spooky pose. “I'll scare off anyone who tries to mess with it.”

“Thanks, you've been a lifesaver.” The door made a ringing sound as he passed through it.

He made a beeline for the refrigerated section. Chisame's voice still echoed in his ears. “I need ice cream! NOW!!!” He shuttered at the thought of going back. At least the library girls tried to keep their calm about the situation, even if hormones sometimes got the better of them. They were excited at the prospect, if understandably nervous. At least they still smiled at Negi whenever they were with him.

But not Chisame. Negi firmly believed that deep down in her subconscious somewhere, she cherished the idea. But Chisame being Chisame, it would take a lot to get those feelings to the surface. Until that happened, life would be hellish. But afterward....he smiled slightly before the fatigue set back in. Life would still be chaotic, but a good kind of chaotic.

Negi perused the section until he found what Chisame had demanded: Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk. It was odd that a convenience store would carry the product, but it was technically on Mahora's campus, and everything about Mahora was a bit over the top. Either way, Negi was just glad to have it nearby. Without it he would have had to take the train into the shopping district, and he didn't have time for that.

What else was there? He scanned the shelves, knowing that Chisame had wanted something to go with the ice cream. “Oh, right.” He grabbed a jar of pickles on his way back to the counter. He yawned as he laid his purchases on the counter.

“That it?” The clerk was suitably apathetic.

“Uh...” Negi glanced at the shelves near the counter. He came all this way so me might as well get himself something. Maybe a Snickers bar. His gaze was hooked by a brightly colored box. That might be a good idea. I don't want to have to deal with any more of this stress. He tossed the box of condoms onto the counter along with the candy bar. “That's everything.”

We have never seen any of the parents in Negima

Gorilla Grodd

The large ape finished drawing the circle, then crushed the chalk between his thick, coarse fingers.

"I still can't believe it. Me, the scourge of Gorilla City, reduced to servitude to a practically newborn human. I swear, when the effects of this damned spell your father casted upon me are over, Boy, I shall—"

"Shut up already!" Asuna was quite fed up by now. "Isn't enough for you to stink all over the apartment, clog the bathroom up with your fur and getting us in problems hitting on Shizuna-sensei? Must you boss us around all the time, too?"

"Yes, I must. It's my duty as a superior creature," the gorilla growled before pointing for them to take their respective places at the circle. "Now be quiet and let us start the ritual. The Mc Dowell woman will find us soon."

"I figure she'll only have to follow your stench," Asuna snarked.

"Confound you, woman!" Grodd grumbled. "You will stop mocking me as of now... one way or another!"

Asuna defiantly stood to him despite Negi's pleas for not antagonizing. "And how will you do it? You know you need me for the Pactio, unless you want to do it yourself! You can't keep on—"

Then she stopped, as her eyes became suddenly vacant.

"You will kiss the boy now," Grodd icily commanded.

"I will kiss the boy now," Asuna mechanically agreed before grabbing Negi's face and forcefully pulling him into a deep tongue kiss.

It was at that point when the producers decided making the series' pet a telepathic gorilla was more Unfortunate Implications than Everythings Better With Monkeys.

Scrappy Doo

"Well, look at the bright side," Assistant Amagasaki Chigusa commented. "They have just given us all a lesson on teamwork and the power of forgiveness. They have put their differences apart to fight a common enemy."

Akamatsu Ken ran a hand over his face. "They have just teamed up to stomp a puppy into bloody bits, Amagasaki-san."

"Well, you must admit he was THAT annoying," she commented.

Fate and Negi were shaking hands over the red large splotch while both of their respective harems cheered up.

Poochie

After the Mahorafest was over, however, Poochie had a sudden announcement to give everyone.

"I must go now. My home planet needs me."

And he was teleported over.

Negi, Kotaro and Class 3-A stood there silently for a few moments, dumbfounded.

"I kinda get the feeling that was supposed to be my line-ne," Chao finally said.

"I'll miss him, actually. He really knew how to chase cars around," Kotaro sighed.

Negi sat against the edge of the main pool in the Mahora bath. It had been a few years since he had moved in with Asuna and Konoka. He had only recently realized how ridiculous it was that he hadn't been moved somewhere else yet. But he didn't mind. He had long since grown used to the setup.

But recently, he had noticed some changes. Or rather, he was currently in the process of noticing the changes, right at that moment. Because that was when the girls of the Library Club entered the bath, wrapped in their towels. That wasn't unusual. All the girls in the class had long since been used to sharing the bath with him. And Nodoka, Yue, and Haruna in particular were some of the ones who cared the least about his presence. He was good friends with of them. Their appearance was nothing out of the ordinary. What was unusual was his reaction.

Nodoka released her towel as she walked towards the water. As it fluttered towards the floor, a chill ran down Negi's spine. He shivered, and lowered himself further into the warm water. What was that feeling? He had never experienced that before. Negi tried to contemplate the sensation, but it was futile endeavor. His eyes were transfixed by Nodoka' form as she strode into the water.

His gaze traced the subtle curves of her figure, slowly making its way from her feet up to her face. How had he never noticed before? Everything about her was so smooth, so soft... As his eyes finally reached her lips, she broke into a smile, giggling contentedly at some comment that one of her friends had made. Images of their Mahorafest kiss flitted through his mind. Had her lips really been as soft as they looked right now?

Negi could feel his face flushing. He sunk deeper into the water. Only the top half of his head remained above the surface. Nodoka turned back to her friends.

“Yue, are you coming?”

“I'll be right there.” Yue's towel drifted down to rest on the tile. Negi's pulse was racing. Like Nodoka, her body was composed of finely honed curves. She had so often complained about her “underdeveloped figure”. Negi had to force himself not to scoff at the idea. The longer he watched her body stretch as she slowly gathered up her hair, the less stock he put in her self assessment.

She slipped into the water. Nodoka giggled as she slapped the water, sending a cascade of water droplets against Yue's back. Negi stared, completely captivated by the two girls as they splashed at each other. The playful fight came to an end as Nodoka spun around Yue, and wrapped her arms around her, hands flat against Yue's tummy.

Negi could practically feel the steam pouring from his ears. He had seen this exact same scenario play out so many times since he had arrived at Mahora...what made this time so different? Was it the way that their figures danced gracefully through the pool? Was the it the way the water droplets beaded and flowed across their pristine skin? Maybe it was the way that Nodoka was gently caressing Yue's midriff as she pressed her slender body against that of her friend.....

“Hey! Wait for me!” Negi's eyes were finally torn away from the two girls as Haruna sped towards the pool, towel hanging empty in the air behind her. He was enthralled by the taut springing of her chest as she leaped into the water, landing with and enormous splash. Nothing about Haruna was subtle, least of all her body.

Her supple bosom bounced energetically as she burst from the water. Negi trembled with excitement as she wrapped her arms around both of her friends, and held them tightly against her. They wriggled furiously, giggling as they tried to escape her grasp. Negi swallowed hard. The entire spectacle was an exquisite blend of beautiful curves, smooth skin, and laughter that sounded practically musical.

No! I'm supposed to be a British Gentleman! I can't ogle them like this! Negi clamped his eyes shut, but the image of the three naked girls writhing playfully in each other's grasps was burned onto the inside of his eyelids. I should really get out of here. I can just say that I have paperwork to do. He slowly started to edge towards the steps out of the pool. As he began to move for the first time since the girls' arrival, he realized something. Getting out of the pool was going to be a problem.

He continued to sneak along the pool's edge. I just need...to grab a towel... There was one laying right next to the steps. Nodoka had dropped it there. His heart started to pound at the prospect of wrapping himself in the same towel that had been wound around Nodoka's naked body, that had caressed her legs, her chest... No no..that's not important. He shoved the thought to the back of his mind. He needed to grab the towel and get out of the pool.

His gaze turned back to the girls. They were still roughhousing, and it took him a few second before he was able to tear his eyes away. No, no. I have get out of here. As they turned their backs to him for a moment, he snatched up the towel and rushed up the steps. The sound of his exit finally caught their attention.

“Oh, Negi!” He looked back over his shoulder. Nodoka was waving at him. That her body was in motion only made her more alluring.

“Leaving already?” Yue stood still, her skin shiny with soap and water..

“I...uh...I have... stiff...uh Stuff. Right.” His tongue tripped over itself. “Stuff. To do. That must be done by me. Soon. Now.” He started to shuffle towards the door, trying to avoid having to turn around and face them. "I have to go...place."

“Oh, come on!” Haruna wade towards him, soapy water dripping off of her breasts as they swayed in time with her steps. “You've always had time for us!” She smiled. “What's a few more minutes?”

“I'm sorry, but I...uh...really must be goi-”. He stopped dead. Haruna had reached out to grab his hand, but as he stepped back, she had only caught the bottom edge of the towel. As he backed away, the towel stayed where it was.

The girls' eyes widened. Negi's faced flushed even redder, if that was possible. Nodoka put one hand to her mouth, and with the other, she shakily pointed at her teacher.

“Th...that....that's...”

Yue put a hand to her chin, and stared. “So...so that's what it looks like...”

Haruna's mouth contorted into an overly wide grin.

“Wow. I've never seen one of those in real life before.” She rubbed her hands together. “This will be really useful for that doujin I'm writing...”

“I...uh....” Negi's eye twiched. “I'll see you tomorrow. Don't tell anyone.” He snatched the towel out of Haruna's hand, wrapped it around himself, and fled from the room. There were a few seconds of silence as the girls tried to process what they had just seen. Nodoka finally broke the silence.

“Does that mean that... Sensei...when he..looked at us...he...” Her voice trailed off.

“Looks that way.” Yue was blushing slightly, as was Nodoka. Nodoka's lips formed a small smile.

“I...I see.”

“Well, we knew it was going to happen eventually...” Haruna let out a loud laugh before turning back to her friends. “They grow up so fast, don't they?”

I...uh...I have... stuff.” His tongue tripped over itself. “Stuff. To do. That must be done by me.” He started to shuffle towards the door, trying to avoid having to turn around and face them.

Any ideas of how I could improve it?

Killer Croc

"Here. Here's your stinkin' magical circle," the crocodile-man growled between gritted teeth as he finished drawing on the ground.

Yuuna arched an eyebrow. "It really doesn't look like a circle."

"What do you think I'm, Picasso?!" Croc roared, clearly not in the mood, sitting down to munch on some half-raw meat beside the campfire. "If you wanna kiss, fine. If not, like I care."

The basketball player shook her head and crossed her arms. "And they wonder why I've always hated messy men. He's so unlike you, Negi-kun. How did you meet anyway?" she asked while pulling him with her into the badly drawn circle, smiling seductively down at him.

"Well, I, um..." Negi blinked nervously as he half-dreaded what was about to happen. Maybe if he distracted her enough with his life story, she would forget about the Pactio. "It happened when I was a child, and my village was being attacked... A demon was about to jump on me..."

"And I tossed a rock on him! A damn big rock!" Croc reminisced between ferocious munchings.

"Oh...!" Yuuna chuckled, cupping Negi's face between her hands, making him to sweat. "So you do have a good heart after all, Crockie-kun..."

"Actually, I saw him first. I was wanderin' across that stupid cold countryside lost and hungry, and I wasn't goin' to let no stinkin' demon to get that snack before me," he burped. "But yeah, you could say I got bland after that and let him to live when he started to cry. Not to mention his Old Man showed up and scared the crap outta me."

"Oh," Yuuna's eyebrow twitched a bit, but she went ahead and kissed Negi anyway.

Much to her disappointment, however, the ensuing card was as horribly drawn and misshapen as the Pactio Circle had been.

The mangaka decided they would need an animal who actually could draw.

Itchy and Scratchy

Eva loved the detail of the mouse using the cat's blood to draw the circle every single time.

But everyone else in the regular cast protested they wouldn't work under those conditions, so that idea was scrapped as well.

Courage

Asuna had disliked the flea-ridden mutt since the first day he stepped into their lives. He was always nervous about everything, jumping and howling at the slightest sound. He was enough to make Misora to look fearless by comparison.

He also was always getting into trouble, seeming even more of a magnet for weirdness than Negi himself was. Asuna had grown to detest that creepy cat that took so much delight on torturing him around, and them by extension as well.

All in all, the dog was more problems than he was worth. She had literally cringed when Negi insisted on bringing him with them to Mundus Magicus.

After the forceful separation of the group and her kidnapping, the next time she ever saw him again was at the battle against Fate. After each one of her classmates was struck down, after Negi was struck down, after herself was struck down, only the pitiful trembling thing was left standing. Fate, naturally, had paid him no attention and turned around to continue with the ritual.

Then the dog looked back at them. For a few moments he just stared at them as if begging for them to stand back, making tiny pleading sounds. Then he seemed to realize they were in no shape to fight back anymore.

And he made a strange sound. Makie would later swear he actually had said "The things I do for love!", but then again, it was Makie. Whatever the case was, much to Asuna's awe, the idiotic dog had jumped on Fate.

And somehow, in some way she never would be able to figure out despite watching every moment of it, he managed to put a beating on Fate. All the while never stopping to whine and whimper pathetically.

By that point, for some reason or another, Dynamis had managed to recover enough and had attempted to stop the dog, since the ritual was kinda getting screwed and all that to boot.

The dog managed to put him back as well.

Fate's Ministra must have had enough, since they were the next to pounce on him, although Koyomi seemed naturally terrified of him from the start. The dog still put them down, too. THAT had been an... interesting method to put Homura's flames out.

Then Fate stood back up. Looking finally angry, for once, and it was a truly terrifying thing to see.

In an even more bizarre sucession of events, Courage beat him down a second time.

When it was all over, he stood on frail quivering legs, panting so much his tongue touched the shattered ground, battered and bruised all over.

Asuna barely could work back to her feet enough to wobble towards him, seeing him to shrink down under her glare.

She smiled at him, then gave him a mock knock on his head.

"Stupid dog. You made us to look bad."

Then she hugged him tighter than she had hugged anyone ever before.

Shuma-Gorath

He blamed the Marvel vs. Capcom fighting games.

True, they had rescued him from anonimacy, but looking back at it, maybe he should have stayed there. Now everyone thought of him as that octopus who fought Dan Hibiki. He, who once had been the Sorcerer Supreme's archfoe! He, who once was large enough to hold whole dimensions between his tentacles!

Now he had been reduced to drawing magical circles for a minor mage, all the while that vile redhead with bells in her hair hit him with a giant paper fan yelling something about 'Hentai!' or some such nonsense. The Japanese, he had learned it the hard way, were oddly sensitive about tentacle sporting fellows for some reason that escaped him.

And then there was that creepy black haired girl with glasses that kept on molesting him. Although he had started to take a liking to it lately. Not like he would ever admit it.

At least it paid the bills. And he always could vent his frustration out with what had become his mantra since setting tentacles at Mahora.

"Wastes of flesh!"