Aright, one extra SUE! Two short chapters this time.

Chapter 7: A Name of Power

On their way home, Roran tells Eragon that there was a stranger called Dempton at Horst's smithy, getting some sockets made for his mill in a neighbouring town called Therinsford. This Dempton guy has offered Roran a job, despite only having just met him there (IDIOT!). And considering how rich the poor farmers in Eragon's family are, I reckon Dempton's going to be rich as hell. Eragon doesn't think that Roran should tell Garrow, because he apparently doesn't want Roran or Eragon to leave home. Roran wants the money from working in the mill to marry Katrina and raise a house to come back in the spring, because he isn't needed right now. (Wh... most of that makes sense???) Anyway, nothing's made of it, because Roran doesn't tell Garrow. (So why bother with all of this talk?)

Eragon goes to talk to Dildira, who says "Eragon" again. Eragon's apparently been put into a foul mood by Roran, so he yells pointlessly at the sky and breaks branches and, for some reason, punches the ground. Then he says, "I don't want him to go, that's all". Yeah, exactly, that's all. Stop throwing temper tantrums, ya big IDIOT! baby. Then he decides Dildira needs a name, so he runs through a few names Brom told him, then decides on Saphira, the last one which Brom had hesitated before telling him. (COINCIDENCE?)

Chapter 9: A Miller-to-Be

The Skywalker family eats dinner, and Roran tells Garrow that he plans to take a job at Dempton's mill. He explains why, and we learn Roran leaves in two weeks. Garrow isn't angry at all, and says he wants to see the family growing again. Eragon's still in a temper about Roran leaving, and doesn't talk to anyone except Dildira, who goes through another growth spurt and is now taller at the shoulder than Eragon. Waaah, poor baby Eragon! IDIOT! I'm really annoyed at the guy's constant tantrums. Doesn't he have anything better to do?

Dildira's a SUE! as well; she's "real and complex as any person" (though we'll never see this), and "her personality was eclectic and at times completely alien, though they understood each other on a profound level" (we'll never see evidence of this either). Dildira's reluctant to be seen by Uncle Owen and Roran as well, and Eragon agrees to keep her out of sight, though at least Paolini has the courage to admit that it's "partly out of selfishness" because he doesn't want them to be all scared and yelling at him, and of course he should never have anybody yelling at him cuz hez speshul! Then he watches Roran packing the night before he's supposed to leave, and Eragon's about to cry because he leaves a polished rock Eragon gave him behind. IDIOT! It's just a goddamn rock!

• IDIOT! count: 19
• UNPRONOUNCEABLE! count: 8
• SCIENCE ALARM! count: 20
• SUE! count: 16
• COINCIDENCE? count: 14

Not too much to pack into two small chapters, obviously, but I hope the next chapter has plenty to make up for it.

edited 29th Sep '09 5:02:38 AM by Yon Troper

I read this when I was back in Middle School, I didn't think it was original or that great but I still kinda liked it. But now after reading this blogination...dear sweet Jesus! I don't remember half this stuff! Did I unwittingly pick up some special edition of the book with all the fail cut out or were my tastes that bad?

Repeatedly smacks self.

Love the liveblog so far, but I have a suggestion: How about we have a PUUUUUURPLE! Count for the most ridiculous instances of Purple Prose?

If you don't like the book don't read it moron.

Liveblogging isn't about liking or disliking— it's about the person's reactions to reading, watching, or playing something. This is far from the only one where someone purposely reads or watches something they don't like, just so the rest of us can see his reactions.

Like this or this or this or just check the MST page.

To be fair snarkbloggings are pretty common here, due to Bile Fascination.

So far so good though.

The liveblog is back, after a long hiatus. Adding a BAD WRITING! counter, replacing UNPRONOUNCEABLE! To count for any previous bad writing from earlier chapters, I'll start the counter at 15.

Strangers in Carvahall

We open with the Skywalker family at breakfast. O RLY, Paolini? The tea is hot, you say? Unless they specifically like drinking cold tea, do you really need to mention this? (BAD WRITING!) Roran is about to set off on his journey. Uncle Owen gives Roran a pouch of money. Roran must really, really like money, because his voice is "thick with emotion" when he takes it. Owen bends his gaze on Eragon and Roran ("Bends"? BAD WRITING!), and gives them an overblown advice speech that nobody outside of these kind of books ever gives. The gist of it is "Be honest with women, be careful with money, treat people fairly and Be Yourself", yet this takes up two paragraphs. (BAD WRITING!)

Eragon and Roran go down to Carvahall, where they meet Dempton at the smithy (he was picking up some sockets for his mill, you may remember). Must be rusty sockets, because in front of the forge, there's a barrel of BRINE (SCIENCE ALARM!). Horst has to be one incompetent smith. He tells Eragon that two strange men dressed in black and carrying swords showed up at Carvahall asking if a stone/egg like the one Eragon found was here (COINCIDENCE?). Horst wants Eragon to go home and get rid of the stone/egg. Too bad it's hatched. Eragon runs on back home, but finds out that two strange men in black are asking Sloan about it, and he's telling them. Who could have guessed. (COINCIDENCE?)

Eragon gets frozen, maybe by some kind of magic that the two men have. "His legs swayed, but to no avail." Paolini, that's movement, he's not frozen. BAD WRITING! The men come for him, but along comes Brom to chase them away! Eragon gets unfrozen and Brom starts walking him home, but as they part, Brom sees the shiny thing on Eragon's palm.

Flight of Discovery

Eragon gets to the house and decides he will have to tell him what happened, which means revealing Saphira. First, he tells Dildira what happened. When he mentions the cloak d00ds, she goes loony, yelling Fire! Enemies! Death! Murderers! and other assorted sentiments. He jumps on Saphira's back, tellig her, "Everything's going to be all right, ", she... takes off. What the hell? And without even telling him what she's doing? IDIOT! Once in flight, Dildira wobbles, and Eragon is "heaved over the side". Ding dong, the Stu is dead. Oh wait. "Heaved over the side" means "he stayed on". BAD WRITING! Eventually, Dildira lands somewhere in the not-at-all terrifying Spine, although Eragon gets his first injury, his thighs rubbed raw and bloody by Saphira's hard scales. Even though he was wearing pants. SCIENCE ALARM! And Dildira STILL won't explain why she dragged him off, the IDIOT! She makes a tent for him with her wing and body, after dragging him over to a patch of exposed dirt. Stars dance in his eyes as he is dragged over a rock. I hate this guy, but seriously, ouch. Dildira must be really pissed.

• IDIOT! count: 21
• BAD WRITING! count: 20
• SCIENCE ALARM! count: 21
• SUE! count: 16
• COINCIDENCE? count: 16

edited 29th Oct '09 11:17:02 PM by Yon Troper

Specifying that the tea is hot isn't necessarily bad writing, after all, some places are much more likely to have iced tea.

Granted, the presence of iced tea would be nigh impossible with the tech level shown.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

Hey, are you planning on doing all the books?

Someone should add a counter of plot points blatantly stolen from Star Wars.

Because I was bitching about that when I read Eragon, and I was a teenage fantasy fan with not all that refined taste. (Though I was a Star Wars fangirl...)

"Heaved over the side" meant he puked, I think.

And uh, yeah it is possible for your skin to come off by abrasion even if you're wearing clothes. Xtreme Chafing :D

The question is, if Saphira's scales were so sharp then why didn't they rip his pants too...

Good on you for liveblogging this! I'll follow it when you post more.

So... he has a white oval mark in his palm which is somehow his connection to a magical power? You know, exactly like Garion in The Belgariad?

The fact that this stuff gets published and makes $$$ while more talented writers are struggling depresses me.

Granted, Garion's mark may have been more round than oval. So it's not a ripoff after all.

Well we don't have proof the Paolini has even heard of The Belgariad so we can't call it a rip-off...yet.

I'm about Paolini's age (my parents don't own a publishing company, though), and I think that if you were a teenage fantasy fan in the 90s, there would be a fair chance that you'd read The Belgariad. It was pretty massively popular, at least where I'm from.

I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. But it's still a pretty odd coincidence.