The Cracked Thread

Remember the whole thing about wider circles, and not writing stuff that looks like gibberish to non-otakus?

Indigo, don't be weird, he wrote one paragraph mentioning some animes.

Yeah, but saying that paragraph should be in there is weird.

Meh, I wasn't really trying to push for anything. Just mentioning further examples is all.

This made me chuckle hardily.

I've seen Super Transformable Tomas and Spader-Man before.

The last couples of articles have been really interesting, this one in particular.

What the fuck, Cosmo.

What the fuck.

edited 6th Apr '11 12:15:27 PM by OurGLORIOUSLeader

You didn't know that Cosmo is staffed entirely by bitter, misanthropic women who can't decide who they hate more, men or women?

They've done similar ones before. Remember the thing where they mention that Cosmo advised women to tug on nut hairs and bite scrotums?

edited 6th Apr '11 2:21:49 PM by Deboss

Here it is!

So now instead of Cosmo tips that will put you in the hospital, it's Cosmo tips that will get you arrested.

Seriously though, the revenge schemes seem like a bad case of Abuse Is Okay When It’s Female on Male.

edited 6th Apr '11 6:36:00 PM by Hermiethefrog

-reads links-

What. Is. This. Shit.

Can someone tell me where the psychologists who wrote in those Cosmo articles got their PhDs? I want to know since I'm majoring in psychology and would love to find a school where the only requirement for getting a PhD is being able to spell your name. That'll save me a few years I'd have otherwise wasted learning stuff that (if these examples are accurate) is obviously useless to being a psychologist. Plus, since I actually passed Psych 101, I might have a better chance of getting that degree even faster.

What? I'm not at all pissed off that these dumbfucks are making my chosen career path look bad.

Also, I find Cosmo's advocation of tortures that would make the Spanish Inquisition shit themselves to be quite disturbing.

edited 7th Apr '11 1:51:46 PM by Malph

Probably online colleges.

The best part, IMO, is how they advocate numerous horrifying, disturbing ways on how to torture your lover for the most minuscule transgressions... and the final one advocates cheating on him.

Double Standard? What the fuck is that?

And I just learned that Stuart Little was written by M. Night Shyamalan.

edited 7th Apr '11 4:04:40 PM by OurGLORIOUSLeader

Jeez. Are the Cosmo offices run by fucking FemiNazis?

I wonder what kind of depraved misandrists read this.

Its very simple. People in happy relationships don't read Cosmo. They have no reason whatsoever to, they have a happy life, they don't need tips. Therefore, these tips are aimed purely at making womens relationships fall aprt, so they'l go back to Cosmo to figure out where they got wrong. A person with good self esteem would see that its Cosmos insane advice that screwed up the relationship, so Cosmo makes sure to undermine their self esteem with numerous articles which tell women they're too fat, or too unnatractive, so they'll have so little self esteem they'll do anything Cosmo tells them, and keep buying the magazine forever.

I really cannot fathom why women think Cosmo would be there to help them, not to hurt them.

Oh, and "cheating on him"? Uh uh. If she shows up naked, that is sexual harassment. If she pushes herself on him, thats sexual assault. If she makes him go through with it through one means or another, thats rape.

Here's a general summery of the article:

If a man:

• Swallows while talking
• Wants to tell his significant other about his day (which she may or may not have asked him to do in the first place)
• Grooms himself
• Wants to have sex
• Thinks he has the basic human right of privacy
• Is at all happy

There's a possibility he's cheating.

So a woman is given a free pass (according to Cosmo) to do any of the following to him without needing any actual proof that he's cheating:

• Give him Ex-lax brownies (as in poison him)
• Crush his balls
• Pawn/Burn his stuff
• Cheat on him

And, if his friends don't have deep, philosophical conversations with her*

Cosmo: Helping perpetuate the Double Standard one psychotic article at a time!

edited 9th Apr '11 12:34:24 PM by Justice4243

Funny. Ph D links directly to a webcomic.

SHIT THE BUNNIES ARE TURNING ON US

What the hell is wrong? New Cracked is murdering Safari.

They did something to rearrange their site. Very irritating, but nothing adblockers won't fix.

Holy shit! When did that happen? It wasn't like that when I was there around 3:00.

Heh. Neat list, but the video for #6 is incredibly awesome: