Rage Here at Bad Game Reviews

So, anyone have a game review that they want to rage about? this one truly irks me. "Terrible plot" my hairy chest! Radiant Dawn had four chapters of pure win, the best character development of pretty much any game ever, and unlike in Path of Radiance which Anderson seems to have a guycrush on, cost of failure doesn't just mean the end of a nation, but the world itself. And "too hard"?! Lark Anderson obviously missed the whole point; you start the game with a bunch of children and old men doing the best that they can to take on the world's most powerful nation, of course it isn't going to be easy!

Rage, rage, RAGE!

I think I'm one of many who thinks Yahtzee needs to take a nice, long break from playing games and animating and reviewing them every week, clearly it's getting to him, also all the pandering to the Yahtzee Nazis makes me think he is losing it.

IGN's review of Godzilla: Unleashed. They called the soundtrack "typical, generic game metal". Less than one fifth of the game's soundtrack is metal. The Wii and PS 2 reviews are also nearly the same.

Game Informer. Paper Mario: TTYD. Enough Said.

Every. Single. "Professional" review for Sonic Unleashed, which so obviously let their prejudice against the Werehog, and the general decline of the Sonic series, influence their whole opinion of the game that they weren't willing to give it half a chance.

On the most objective levels, there is no darn way the game deserves worse scores than Sonic The Hedgehog 2006. I wouldn't even call Unleashed a great game, but it sure as hell isn't 4.0 or 5.0 worthy.

Gamespot. IGN. Sonic Unleashed. That is all.

You can't spell "ignorant" without IGN.

Well, the IGN review of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2 bugs me. Not because I disagree with it but because it's so friggin' amateurish. It's just a few bland paragraphs, basically a shallow list of features that anyone could have picked up from a preview. How about some context? Some in-depth analysis? An actual *review*?

And as much as I like the folks who work at RPG Land, I have to call them out on the Ar Tonelico review they did a while back. It's funny, but doesn't really tell you anything about the game.

I'm also starting to get bothered by some of Yahtzee's reviews. He's starting to sounds more like the Angry Video Game Nerd then someone who actually reviews a game.

It just feels that he forgot that a game doesn't need to be the pinnacle of perfection to be entertaining.

Obligatory insomnia.ac link.

Check out the forums. The guy who runs this website legitimately thinks everyone who disagrees with him is retarded.

You sure we can't change that "Bad" in the title to "Contradictory to or opinions"?

Are we permitted to add mindbogglingly stupid editorials? There's a certain one from IGN that had become instantly infamous.

What is it?

Blinded By Mario, a.k.a. IGN scrapes the bottom of the barrel for reasons to criticize Nintendo.

edited 3rd Feb '10 1:36:10 PM by Cliche

EH. Seems just like ordinary Flame Bait to me.

You sure we can't change that "Bad" in the title to "Contradictory to or opinions"?

Do you mean that you don't think people will be posting reviews that are actually bad, or you mean that you want to post reviews that you don't agree with?

Blinded By Mario, a.k.a. IGN scrapes the bottom of the barrel for reasons to criticize Nintendo.

Looks like a continuation of the "it's too similar to other Mario platformers" line, with a dash of "this other game is better."

NSMB Wii isn't the most original game, it's true, but that's kind of the point. People have been looking for more 2D Mario since SMB 3, and New Super Mario Bros. proved it was commercially viable. If NSMB Wii is mechanically sound and achieves the design goal it set out to without being obnoxious or repetitive, then I don't see what ground there is left to call it a bad game.

Short version: Innovation is a fine thing, but it's not something you do on a title that is expected to be highly traditional.

I find people complaining about reviews they don't like much more annoying than the reviews themselves. And on that note of hypocrisy, everyone who criticizes Shadow of the Colossus' control scheme for the horse should stop chewing on the controller.

edited 3rd Feb '10 2:44:51 PM by Penguin4Senate

^ I was one of those people who always thought the horse controlled just fine in Shadow Of The Colossus. Granted, this probably has to do with the fact I've rode actual horses (yes, I was one of those annoying Pony Girls) long enough to appreciate that any video game horse that doesn't throw me ass-over-teakettle every time I try to slow him from a canter to a trot is a good one.

Except during that fight against that giant turtle Colossus. Did the developers just not realize how friggin' impossible it is to lure a giant turtle over geysers and dodge his crazy superbreath of death on a horse when you can't see either?

edited 3rd Feb '10 3:04:46 PM by Sparkysharps

"Short version: Innovation is a fine thing, but it's not something you do on a title that is expected to be highly traditional."

A game reviewer gripe in general: Sometimes The Same But More is a good thing. Old-school gamers get upset because of the lack of that traditional and classic gameplay, which is being addressed in modern times at least.

And what about those of us who don't want traditional gameplay?

Do you have to buy said games?

Then look for other games?

Ninja'd.

edited 3rd Feb '10 3:12:35 PM by Electivirus

That Insomnia review of Team Fortress 2 comes to mind immediately. Talk about moronic.

I mean, I'm pretty sure that it's less that Valve "removed" strafe-jumping so much as it was that the bloody engine does not contain those sorts of oversights that made it possible in Quake.

And basically, whining about how the consoles are dumbing-down gaming and whining that it wasn't TFC with a new coat of paint.

And I recall this one user review on Gamespot (I'm starting to expect stupidity from that place) of the GBA review of "A Link to the Past," and he said "This is the worst game ever made. I played ten minutes of it and it was stupid and VERY boring. I am an underground gamer. I play games many of you have never heard of The reviewers on this site would't know a good game if it slapped them in the face. I hate the mainstream games."

The stupidity! It buuuuuuuuurns!!!

It's the old obscure>mainstream thing again.

Some games are obscure for a reason, anyway.