Anyway, the below is a scene in he second book of my trilogy. To give some context, Carraway, Felix, Ireta, and Iris are all friends. Ireta is a half-vampire and the daughter of a queen, and Carraway is the son of an apple farmer. Which is a sort of normal job for someone from September. Carraway and Ireta don't have any feelings for each other. They're all on a somewhat large boat. This scene takes place in the boat's kitchen, after Felix catches Carraway and Ireta trying to communicate with the dead over a "communing table" to find out where one of the villains, Lady Graywind (Ireta's mother) is. (It's an Octoberite thing.)
Felix stared at them incredulously. "I must be seeing things. Carraway and Ireta, holding hands? Are you two dating
Before Carraway could respond, Ireta rose from the communing table and, with a dramatic flourish, said, "Yes! I have fallen for the charming and handsome Carraway, completely out of the blue! But woe is me, for how could the noble
Carraway fall for a lowly peasant
such as me? My life, 'tis a tragedy!"
Carraway gave a grudging smirk and decided to play along. "But, Ireta! How could any man resist
your acid charm? I love everything about you, from the way your toxic smirk contrasts against your unhealthy pale skin to the way your laugh sounds like a cackling banshee!" Carraway fell to his knees before Ireta. "And your eyes... they're like pits into the abyss, the darkness before the fire and brimstone. And, by gods, if you squint hard enough you can see the bloodthirsty demons inside, ready to escape!"
"Oh, are they?" said Ireta, biting her upper lip to refrain from laughing. "Oh, Carraway! How romantic
! I... I think I'm falling for you! Swoon.
"Or- or- I love the way you smell like an unearthed crypt, and I love your completw and utter apathy for human beings. You're so endearing
. Oh, I'd do anything to have you, Ireta!"
The wide open door banged against the kitchen's wall.
"Uh," said a dumbstruck Iris by the door, "are you flirting with my girlfriend?"
Ireta smiled and kicked Carraway in the knees. "Yeah, Carraway, are you flirting with me?"
Carraway quickly scrambled up from the floor. "No, no! I wasn't!"
Iris just stared at him.
"Okay, I sort of kind of was! But not like that!"
"It was just sarcasm! A joke! It wasn't real! She's not even all that attracti- ow
Ireta had shoved him backwards and Carraway landed against the hard, wooden wall, his back aching with pain.
"What was that for?" he exclaimed after he got back up.
Ireta shrugged, grinning. "Nothing, actually. Couldn't care less you don't find me attractive. Just thought it was a long time since I did that last."
"Yeah, but the last time, it was to push me over a gorge."
Ireta raised an eyebrow. "Who said anything about trying to push you over
Felix looked at them, bewildered. "It still amazes me you're friends."
"I'd like to blame it on severe brain damage," said Carraway. "Like
Iris shook her head. "You're all insane. Why did I even come on