Favorite lines from your own writing:

Total posts: [2,143]
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851 nrjxll11th Nov 2012 01:51:50 AM , Relationship Status: Not war
[up]I don't normally comment on these things, but... yeah. The amateurish capitalization doesn't help.
852 Gaon11th Nov 2012 09:36:03 AM from Grim Up North , Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Wow, thanks for the compliments, guys.

Next time I write anything I'm proud of it, I'll be certain to say it sucks from scratch. And Hell, chess = intelligence is a trope older than goddamn time, one which I used even before I met T Vtropes, why on the Hell is it such a sin for me to use it as a comparison for a Big Bad?

Hordes of fictional works had lines with similar styles of comparison, but there's no one burning them in a fireplace for it, why should I be treated any differently?
Pronounced YAK-you-luss
[up]Because you didn't just say you liked it, you said that it was objectively good enough to qualify for an article page quote - i.e., you had perfectly defined that trope. You were putting yourself up to a higher standard, and so you were judged according to that standard.

Plus, the fact that so many people have done it before is not automatically a reason for you to do so as well - you may just end up with a tired cliche instead of something truly resonant, especially if the quality of your writing isn't up to scratch. Good writing isn't in what you use, but how you use it.

Oh, and unless you were deliberately misspelling it for Xtreme Kool Letterz purposes, it's 'scotch'.

edited 11th Nov '12 9:43:09 AM by Iaculus

What's precedent ever done for us?
854 Gaon11th Nov 2012 09:44:42 AM from Grim Up North , Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Thank you for your answer, I understand now.

Oh well, I suppose you may have a point. My ego does get the best of me sometimes. I still think you people overracted a little bit on this matter.

In any case, I said similar, not the same. One can always reshape a writing tool to its own will until it fits correctly into the work.

"Oh, and unless you were deliberately misspelling it for Xtreme Kool Letterz purposes, it's 'scotch'."

[I really have to learn how do this blody quotes] English is not my mother tongue, these mistakes happen. But alas, go on.

edited 11th Nov '12 9:45:25 AM by Gaon

See ALL the stars!
“I could threaten to have your kneecaps broken, but I don’t think it’d be very effective.

edited 11th Nov '12 4:14:12 PM by Yej

Da Rules excuse all the inaccuracy in the world. Listen to them, not me.
856 NickTheSwing11th Nov 2012 07:12:55 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
Swing, not Slide
Matthew's Various Witty Remarks / Zingers:

-at the Heavenly Swords returning-

"I don't know whether to be glad you guys are okay, or just blast you off again. Blasting you off again is looking very appealing right now."

-Hector Gibbs is revealed to have been Knighted by the British Crown- (it makes sense in context, I swear)

"What? I...think you lost me at the part where Hector became a knight. Seriously, what happened..." He then paused for a moment, considering all of Hector's bizarre traits. Not knowing was looking more appealing.

-Peter is rambling about how he deserves better food and board-

"Look, its either this, or Liam's Apartment. And from what I've heard, after the last big party, they managed to get some rather angry animals in there, including a colony of squirrels, and at least one raccoon. I don't even want to know how that happened, and unless you want to find out, just chill and deal."

edited 2nd Feb '15 2:36:01 AM by NickTheSwing

Pronounced YAK-you-luss
"What? I...think you lost me at the part where Hector became a knight. Seriously, what happened..." He then considered Hector's many bizarre qualities, "No, wait, I don't even want to know."

This one's a bit Don't Explain the Joke. Try leaving out 'He then considered Hector's many bizarre qualities', or swapping it for something like 'he paused for a moment'.
What's precedent ever done for us?
858 JHM12th Nov 2012 06:31:04 AM from Neither Here Nor There , Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Thunder, Perfect Mind
[up] Agreed. The gag's basic premise is amusing, but explaining it deprives it of comic punch.
859 Prime_of_Perfection12th Nov 2012 10:38:08 AM , Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Where force fails, cunning prevails
The following are two exchanges with the protagonist Cassidy Cain and antagonist Narcissa Richmond.

Cassidy's character is that of a Sugar-and-Ice Personality Oujo & Go-Getter Girl. She puts up guards on outside and acts in ruthless pragmatist, though she has a code of honor and aims to be a Reasonable Authority Figure & Iron Lady. At present story wise her public identity is that of an apprentice corporate executive being groomed to take over her family's business and secretly a Phantom Thief who aids victims and deals with those who can otherwise escape punishment.

Having won a battle with someone who challenged her and she accepted for couple or reasons, this is Cassidy pulling a Go Now And Sin No More.

Cassidy Cain: And look where that got you: beneath my boot. Fortunately, I’ll show you mercy in exchange for amends. You’ll relinquish Undine’s Tear, not pursuit me, publicly admit defeat, and sang my praise to your fullest extent.

Narcissa Richmond: So you’ll just make me a pawn like Deus...

Cassidy: I will make no secret that I am. What I'm at odds with is your attitude towards it. Being my pawn is not a wretched position. I recognize that pawns are the soul of chess.

Narcissa: Huh?

Cassidy: Pawns define the structure of the game. They run interference for other pieces, shape battlefield on which stronger pieces maneuver, defy expectations of those who underestimate their merits and, given the right hands, can be nurtured into something more. Fortunately for you, I've those hands. On my side, every piece matters. Even you, if you ally with me.

Fast forward to after figuring out final trick involving a fake macguffin.

Cassidy: I’ll take this anyway. Admit your treachery and donate the real Undine’s Tear to a museum. Also announce intentions to turn your attention to more positive endeavors, such as philanthropy. You’re renowned enough that you need not dread obscurity any longer nor persist being a provocateur. In fact, you’d improve your public image and astonish many on account of it being the very opposite of your present. If questioned why, attribute it to this event convincing you to mend ways. Or...you can refuse. And I will annihilate you. I've no kindness to squander on the unappreciative. In any case, the choice is yours. We profit together or I alone. Just know that I profit.

edited 12th Nov '12 10:57:45 AM by Prime_of_Perfection

860 NickTheSwing12th Nov 2012 04:39:03 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
Swing, not Slide
Yeah, I found the pause for a moment much more amusing. Thanks, guys.

Matthew is, despite his nice behaviors, surprisingly snarky on the inside.

As he listened to the proclamation of the opponent that he was, in fact, Dracula, Matthew inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. At least I'm fighting a proper vampire, not a humanoid disco ball.

edited 12th Nov '12 4:39:43 PM by NickTheSwing

861 Collen12th Nov 2012 04:58:47 PM from it is a mystery
the cutest lizard
[up] That made me laugh.
Gave them our reactions, our explosions, all that was ours
For graphs of passion and charts of stars...
862 Dimanagul15th Nov 2012 05:32:45 AM from Pittsburgh, PA
Library of useless facts
"I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of dying."
All Heroes die. Some just more than others. http://dimanagul.wordpress.com
863 Mort0827th Nov 2012 11:23:07 PM from Oklahoma , Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Pirate AND writer!
"We wouldn't be here if you weren't so crazy!"

"Crazy? Non! I am many things, but not crazy! Now stand still so that I may cut off your face!"
864 MorwenEdhelwen27th Nov 2012 11:34:38 PM from Sydney, Australia
Aussie Tolkien freak
I guess you could call yourself my secret weapon. And my conscience. The heroine Eva, talking about Greek Chorus/hero Che.

The static fills my ears. And it’s an interrogation. Or it’s turned into one. Che, narrating.

edited 27th Nov '12 11:37:49 PM by MorwenEdhelwen

The road goes ever on.
Cogito ergo cogito
A monk contemplates his perception of the mortal realm:

"There was something sickening in the passing of the seasons. As if some rotten cord had been woven into the ever-spinning wheel of time. Spring decayed into summer, summer rotted into autumn and so on. Time circled on, motionless and stagnant."

edited 28th Nov '12 1:37:06 AM by Yachar

'It's gonna rain!'
866 Collen28th Nov 2012 02:04:35 PM from it is a mystery
the cutest lizard
Ooh, eerie.

Anyway, the below is a scene in he second book of my trilogy. To give some context, Carraway, Felix, Ireta, and Iris are all friends. Ireta is a half-vampire and the daughter of a queen, and Carraway is the son of an apple farmer. Which is a sort of normal job for someone from September. Carraway and Ireta don't have any feelings for each other. They're all on a somewhat large boat. This scene takes place in the boat's kitchen, after Felix catches Carraway and Ireta trying to communicate with the dead over a "communing table" to find out where one of the villains, Lady Graywind (Ireta's mother) is. (It's an Octoberite thing.)

Felix stared at them incredulously. "I must be seeing things. Carraway and Ireta, holding hands? Are you two dating now?"

Before Carraway could respond, Ireta rose from the communing table and, with a dramatic flourish, said, "Yes! I have fallen for the charming and handsome Carraway, completely out of the blue! But woe is me, for how could the noble Carraway fall for a lowly peasant such as me? My life, 'tis a tragedy!"

Carraway gave a grudging smirk and decided to play along. "But, Ireta! How could any man resist your acid charm? I love everything about you, from the way your toxic smirk contrasts against your unhealthy pale skin to the way your laugh sounds like a cackling banshee!" Carraway fell to his knees before Ireta. "And your eyes... they're like pits into the abyss, the darkness before the fire and brimstone. And, by gods, if you squint hard enough you can see the bloodthirsty demons inside, ready to escape!"

"Oh, are they?" said Ireta, biting her upper lip to refrain from laughing. "Oh, Carraway! How romantic! I... I think I'm falling for you! Swoon."

"Or- or- I love the way you smell like an unearthed crypt, and I love your completw and utter apathy for human beings. You're so endearing. Oh, I'd do anything to have you, Ireta!"

The wide open door banged against the kitchen's wall.

"Uh," said a dumbstruck Iris by the door, "are you flirting with my girlfriend?"

Ireta smiled and kicked Carraway in the knees. "Yeah, Carraway, are you flirting with me?"

Carraway quickly scrambled up from the floor. "No, no! I wasn't!"

Iris just stared at him.

"Okay, I sort of kind of was! But not like that!"

More staring.

"It was just sarcasm! A joke! It wasn't real! She's not even all that attracti- ow!"

Ireta had shoved him backwards and Carraway landed against the hard, wooden wall, his back aching with pain.

"What was that for?" he exclaimed after he got back up.

Ireta shrugged, grinning. "Nothing, actually. Couldn't care less you don't find me attractive. Just thought it was a long time since I did that last."

"Yeah, but the last time, it was to push me over a gorge."

Ireta raised an eyebrow. "Who said anything about trying to push you over the gorge?"

Felix looked at them, bewildered. "It still amazes me you're friends."

"I'd like to blame it on severe brain damage," said Carraway. "Like to."

Iris shook her head. "You're all insane. Why did I even come on this boat?"

edited 28th Nov '12 2:08:29 PM by Collen

Gave them our reactions, our explosions, all that was ours
For graphs of passion and charts of stars...
867 NickTheSwing28th Nov 2012 03:50:19 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
Swing, not Slide
More Funny Matthew Moments:

Magic Malfunction:
Matthew did not know what the "power" was that let him stop Nebiros, but apparently it was a very stubborn one. He had tried everything from making the same posture and appearance as he had in the battle, to making his Mana levels the exact same as that time. Now, he was trying special key phrases. "Its morphin' time! Uh...to infinity and beyond! Okay, hmm...by the power of Grayskull!"

Sorata, listening in on his increasingly amusing desperation, giggled a little while walking in and immediately teased him, "Matthew, you'll never stop amusing me with how nerdy you can be. Maybe you just need to dress more fabulously." Matthew immediately turned as red as a tomato, but couldn't stop himself from laughing a little.

Disappointing Villain
And so, as the sorcerer gathered dark energy about himself, Matthew prepared himself for the worst. Would it be a terrifying abomination this man turned into? Would be become a dragon...even though everybody probably knew by now that never went well? Or would it be some sort of grotesque parody of a human? The energy dispersed...and so Matthew and Sorata were left staring. Not in horror. No. Not by a long shot.

The villain had turned into a gargantuan bunny rabbit. The rabbit shouted in a suddenly very squeaky voice, "Fear me, mere mortals!"

Matthew chuckled a little before covering his mouth, barely able to keep it together. Sorata did not have as much luck, laughing and slapping her leg with one hand. The villain, obviously offended, demanded, "What's the deal? Am I not terrifying? I am a gigantic rabbit! Gaze into my red eyes and gawk in horror at my tremendous ears!"

That put an end to Matthew's resistance, as he laughed out loud.
868 drunkscriblerian28th Nov 2012 09:23:05 PM from Castle Geekhaven , Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
So, this one happened when two characters were bound with Zip-Ties and thrown in the back of a moving van...they (obviously) wanted to escape and ran out of options. The guy mentions that he could shim the Zip-Ties open if he had something to shim them with; the girl realizes that her underwire is loose. Hilarity Ensues when he starts digging in her bra for it (remember that they're both bound):

“Don't be shy,” I said.

“I'm a married man, Miss Eckart.” His voice was laden with tension and a side order of embarrassment.

“Please...Amber,” I said. “Any man who rummages around in my cleavage gets to call me by my first name.”
If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed.

~Cora M. Strayer~
869 Teraus29th Nov 2012 02:59:32 PM from The Origin of Dreams
Awesome Lightning Mantra
[up] At first, I hastily read the lines and they seemed generic, but then I read the context and it was actually funny. Poor guy.

I've got this one (it's in a very advanced chapter that was written separately from the rest). I won't give any details concerning the context to avoid spoilers:

Adam hesitated. "I've had faith. Even on the threshold of my sanity as a Guide, my unrelenting desire for the indiscriminate knowledge of everything sustained me. This was the period in which I directed all of my effort and knowledge into the creation of something that could further expand my mind's reach, even if minimally. Erimosz kept me satisfied for some time... I studied each mind and each universe, anxiously longing for the unseen, something that could shake my perspective or even completely subvert it... But there was nothing beyond the obvious. Satisfaction... The root of all control, that which intoxicates all minds, primitive or rational. I persistently studied it, hoping that I'd be truly free once I stopped seeking it. I still believe it, but the cessation of this pursuit is attained through the opposite path... What would be the last Mystery so many believe in, if not the absolute victory of the very manipulation I fight against? The total stagnation and eternal subjugation of all minds to the Order?"

An invisible wave emanated from his eyes and penetrated every single part of my soul, disarming me completely for what was about to come. The Symbol degraded itself and turned into the infernal abyss again, its fury greater than ever. His own eyes reflected that abyss, and all of my hope in Adam's recovery died at that instant.

"I am the truth which arises from every fragment of this eternal prison. Relentless. Uncontainable. I am the ruin of everything that perpetuates this glorified illusion!"

Dramatic, I know. But pretty damn important. I know it's hard to judge without knowing the full context (which is a little too complicated to be brought up here), but are there any comments on what can be perceived here?

edited 29th Nov '12 3:02:21 PM by Teraus

"You cannot judge a system if your judgement is determined by the system."
Remarkably Unremarkable
“There’s nothing to feel guilty about. You got hit on. So what? When you’re in a relationship, you are immediately more attractive. Even if people don’t know that you’re taken, they can like, smell it on you. You secrete pheromones or something,” Taylor said in between bites of her sandwich. “And because they know you’re taken, they want you more. You’re forbidden fruit. It’s a real shame they can’t bottle the aroma of being in a relationship for single people.”

“Ah yes, I can see it now. Monogamous by Calvin Klein. It’d fly off the shelves.”
871 Teraus30th Nov 2012 12:40:00 PM from The Origin of Dreams
Awesome Lightning Mantra
This feels like a multi-person monologue, for some reason.
"You cannot judge a system if your judgement is determined by the system."
Remarkably Unremarkable
It reads that way. The entire manuscript is built upon dialogue and character interactions. There is a plot, and a climax, and all of that mind you, but the real meat and potatoes is the dialogue between the characters.
Dr. Ján Ĩtor
Protagonist catches a bad case of bullet-in-the-arm. He uses his magic to try and patch himself up.

I watched with morbid curiosity as the wound in my arm opened up completely. It blossomed like an orchid, an angry fissure of scarlet revealing my most inner, private workings. Apparently, my magic had mucked up the job and made the injury worse. Fatal, even. Some part of me laughed. The rest of me collapsed onto the floor.

edited 30th Nov '12 7:23:00 PM by monthefratellis

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
874 Teraus30th Nov 2012 08:06:35 PM from The Origin of Dreams
Awesome Lightning Mantra
[up] There was a similar thing in my second book. But, instead of a scarlet fissure, it was more like a black wave of decay.

Hey, it wasn't easy to translate those lines from my other post... Any feedback would be appreciated (I know many will simply shout purple prose, but the situation required a more dramatic writing).
"You cannot judge a system if your judgement is determined by the system."
Dr. Ján Ĩtor
[up]As you said, it really needs some context. It does dip into some purple prose territory, but I'm sure it's fine in context. I assume it's the major culmination of something ... well, major, and it would be suitably epic when it did appear in the story.
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.

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