OK, I'll have a go at this. Keep in mind you said ripped apart, so this might be a bit harsh.
Firstly, where is Centria? I've never heard of it, and man is it a bland name for a town. Also, I suppose I should ask whether this is game, anime, or manga canon. I understand that they're somewhat different, though I'm really only versed in game canon.
Anyways, I see 10 years old is too young, and immediately I think of this
. Also, not enough money to support him? Last I checked, you make money off battles. I suppose not everyone is a trainer, but it does seem that everyone who wants to be one just goes out and does it.
Then he gets a Pokemon, and then a job, and then I'm already bored. Personally, I'd give something a little less mediocre than Sandshrew as a gift, but that's just me. Some random Darker and Edgier
stuff, though I suppose Pokemon death is canon. Also, the company name is Solaris, which is the kind of name you give a company that's evil and using Solrock to take over the world or something. So, finally, he gets going, though apparently it's only going to last 2 months so I'm not sure why I care.
So, Wattsburg (who is coming up with these names?). And speaking of names, why is naming Slowpoke so important? Most trainers seem content with just using the species name. Also, Hippocampus is over the 10 character limit (yeah...I know
Training Sandshrew is a good idea. However, training it against Magnemite is not. Magnemite have Sonicboom, which at this level is quite dangerous. Sandshrew, meanwhile, learns nothing which can significantly damage Magnemite. At all. So if he's beating them, that means Sandshrew probably has been taught Dig. Which brings us to the Gym Leader, who will be utterly destroyed by a Dig-using Sandslash. I suppose if she's using Flash Cannon, she should be able to do good damage back, but the battle will be anything but long.
So, having failed once, he gives up. An excellent role model, our protagonist. The other characters berate him for this, apparently channeling the audience. For someone who always wanted to be a trainer, he's certainly doing a great job of not being one. Oh, and the company is evil and using Solrock to take over the world or something. Shocking.
Personality has social phobia, otherwise not particularly notable. Social phobia actually seems surprisingly common in O Cs
such as this. I wonder why.
I'm also not sure how one adjusts a NU team to replace Sandslash with Mightyena. Sandslash is an invaluable physical tank and rapid spinner. Mightyena is a poor choice for a sweeper even in NU. Not to mention it would have poor I Vs
if not bred for them. Also, it means Sandshrew would pretty much be guaranteed of coming with Swords Dance, Earthquake, and probably Night Slash, so as to not waste T Ms
. Which means Tessla should be getting her ass kicked even harder.
Well, that was longer than I expected. Fun to write, though. It's probably not as bad as I made it out, but Accentuate the Negative
Belief or disbelief rests with you.