Make your own Magic card!

A plus-3 loyalty ability that creates an 8/8?

I would quit MTG.

Okay, so that's an overstatement. But I'd prematurely concede against anyone I knew was playing that card.

Even if he does cost more than Kozilek or Ulamog.

edited 25th Feb '15 3:29:32 PM by SolipSchism

Might want to make it more than one turn before you can get the ult off too.

The apocalypse isn't supposed to happen until at least four turns after you've cast the 'Walker, dude.

The 'Walker costs 12 mana to play, so I think he can afford to have the apocalypse happen two turns after he plays it.

Mairsil, the Pretender 3
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard
For each color of permanent controlled by opponents, Mairsil costs one more mana of that color to cast.
Tap: Add to your mana pool one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.
5BR: Mairsil deals 6 damage to each creature and each player.
1/4

edited 27th Feb '15 7:09:04 PM by ImperialSunlight

Inspired by a short animation I saw earlier tonight. The toughness ability does save him, right?

Planter of Trees WG
Legendary Creature - Human Shepherd
Planter of Trees can't attack or block. Prevent all damage that would be dealt by Planter of Trees.
Creatures you control have +0/+2.
G, T: Reveal the top card of your library. If it's a Forest or Plains, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it on the bottom of your library.
0/0

That one Courser creature would work expertly well with that.

Just gonna shove Planter into my Doran deck, don't mind me.

Can't quite decide on a name for this mechanic, or whether it should be restricted to certain colors (and if so, which ones). :/ Also, Return does work like I think it does, right?
EDIT: Yeah, I know this is technically just Multikicker with a gimmick; don't care.

Defend the Homeland W
Instant
Target blocking creature gets +1/+0 and has first strike until end of turn.
Landsurge — As you cast Defend the Homeland, you may sacrifice any number of basic lands. That creature gets +4/+0 until end of turn for each land sacrificed this way.

Avenge the Homeland R
Instant
Avenge the Homeland deals 2 damage to target creature that dealt damage this turn. If that creature would die this turn, exile it instead.
Landsurge — As you cast Avenge the Homeland, you may sacrifice any number of basic lands. Avenge the Homeland deals 2 damage to that creature for each land sacrificed this way.

Return to the Homeland G
Instant
Gain control of target permanent you own. That permanent gains hexproof until end of turn.
Landsurge — As you cast Return to the Homeland, you may sacrifice any number of basic lands. If the target permanent is a creature, that creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn for each land sacrificed this way.

edited 1st Mar '15 8:29:58 AM by Knowlessman

You can cast Return on a permanent you already control, FYI. Not sure if that was what you intended. If not, the wording should be "gain control of target permanent you own but don't control." As it is that's pretty bonkers considering Green's mana ramp.

Also, changed some numbers on this guy.

Lotan, The Deep Lord - 7UUU
Planeswalker - Lotan
+2: Put an 8/8 blue Leviathan creature token with islandwalk onto the battlefield.
-3: Destroy all creatures without flying or islandwalk.
-8: You get an emblem with "All basic lands are Islands in addition to their other types." and "During your upkeep, destroy target nonbasic land."
Starting Loyalty: 5

And a new pun card.

The Hills Have Eyes - RRRR
Sorcery
Mountains you control become 3/3 red Elemental creatures with haste until end of turn.
Gaze upon the mighty peaks, and they may gaze back.

edited 1st Mar '15 3:28:08 PM by kagescorpionakki

Maybe this is me, but that ultimate doesn't feel very apocalyptic... and also seems like it might have memory issues.

Really, I think even something like "Destroy all nonbasic lands. Gain an emblem that says, 'during your upkeep, destroy target nonbasic land'" would be more striking. (And this works best if there's a set with a ton of effective nonbasic lands.)

Maybe something like "Destroy all nonbasic lands. All basic lands are Islands in addition to their other types"?

@Kage: Yeah, I know; the Landsurge ability is the main part; the control and hexproof bits are extra. And there's mana ramp, and then there's chopping a chunk right off that ramp to give you a temporary boost. I think even Green is at least a little hesitant to sac mana lands. Hell, I would argue it's a strictly worse deal (not counting the control and hexproof), pump-wise, than almost any other Green spell.
Although I do admit I'm not altogether sure how much value hexproof adds... :/ I was thinking of making the hexproof not come into play unless Landsurge happened (which would of course give it redundant hexproofs with multiple lands), but "G: Regain target permanent" just seemed too weaksauce.

edited 1st Mar '15 3:11:05 PM by Knowlessman

This talk of land sacrificing has reminded me of a thought experiment I pondered some time ago.

Wood Elemental is shit. However, if instead of one power/toughness per land sacrificed it gained 100, it would be obscenely overpowered.

Therefore, there is logically a number of power/toughness between these two extremes that would have rendered it a good card.

What is this number?

3 would be really, really good. I would say that 2 would be limited playable.

@Knowless: The problem is most instant-speed removal is targeted, and thus useless against a hexproof creature (see Invisible Stalker). Sacrificing things for temporary power should be a bigger risk = bigger reward situation, but hexproof lowers that risk immensely. As it stands Return could be used for a fairly easy one-shot kill using a trampler. Since you can also sacrifice tapped lands, you can throw on some other green pump spells, sac five lands for +10/+10 and hexproof and bam.

Even if your deck isn't built around it, it's still a consistent instant win card for mid-to-late game green. Just my 2 cents.

Card tax:

Extortomancer - WB
Creature - Human
{T}: Target player loses 1 life for each spell they control. You gain life equal to the life lost this way.
0/3
"Not so fast. You wouldn't want the authorities finding out about these unauthorized lightning spells, would you?"

It would need to be either at least 2 or let you sacrifice tapped lands or both. Alternatively, you could do this:

Great Maw of the Forest 3G
Creature - Treefolk Elemental
~ gets +1/+1 for each Forest in your graveyard
G:Sacrifice a Forest.
0/1

Oddly, the one place Wood Elemental could find a use is in a Titania, Protector of Argoth where it turns forests into 5/3 elementals

edited 1st Mar '15 5:37:29 PM by BigMadDraco

Now I'm imagining that that technique resulting in an in-story run on these guys to quickly dispose of illegal spells.

That's right, it has to be untapped. If you could sac tapped lands, then 2 would be fine. Otherwise I would make it 3.

Redo of an oldish card.

McGowan, Beloved Master (3RW)

Legendary Creature - Human Warrior

3/2

First strike

When a creature you control attacks or blocks, it gains +1/+1 for each other creature you control until the end of the turn.

A father to his students. Dedicated to Paul McGowan.

(Is there a way to have red text not happen?)

(Danke, Knowless.)

edited 1st Mar '15 8:03:47 PM by Tojin

[==] is the escape markup. For more, get thee to the Text-Formatting Rules page.

Let me outpun and outlewd you.

The Hills Have Size
RR
Instant

Until the end of this turn, Mountains give (R)(R) when tapped.
It puts "peaks" into "twin peaks" quite beautifully.

edited 2nd Mar '15 4:14:35 AM by Nitramy

@Kage: Hmm. D'you think it'd help much if I made it a sorcery? Then, it wouldn't be a combat trick, and the hexproof would only be any good against stuff that only works on attacking creatures; it wouldn't do as much, but it wouldn't do nothing.

Making it a sorcery would help immensely, since you couldn't use it to protect a creature. Limits the power and utility to more reasonable levels.

Fool's Justice - B
Instant
As an additional cost to cast ~, sacrifice three creatures.
Exile target creature.
"Killing one bird with three stones" is a popular saying amongst goblins.