Let's Plays Rise of Nations: Thrones and Patriots CTW campaign

"Plays" is a typo

Hello you people, I have a degree of free time that I have decided to use to do a liveblog of a Rise Of Nations Conquer The World campaign. I am playing on the moderate skill level as I normally do and have selected the Romans.

I start out on the "Risk"-Style Map. This turn, I have a choice of attacking Alps or Sahara from Italy. As Sahara doesn't have a supply center that would give me an extra army and can only be attacked through the Barbarian Alley scenario (which is fairly long), I have decided to take on the Vikings that have resided within Alps.

This is a War Party scenario, so I have to kill 25 units. I take the army I start out with to the farms that are on the outside of the enemy's border. The houses that are next to the farms are definitely not of the same era as the pyramids would be, though they look less out of place here than they would be in the Pre-Columbian Amazon.

I start killing the citizens that stand on the farms, who usually just stay there rather stupidly as you cut them up. After doing this for a while, I throw my army (recently enlarged with local cavalry that want to get Vikings the hell out of Switzerland so that people stop mistaking them for Swedish) inside the enemy border and meet the Viking army next to their capital. Wasting them, I just have to kill a couple more citizens and I am finished.

We are back to the "Risk"-Style Map, the next scenario likely being a conquest one. But I am le tired.

edited 1st Jul '10 12:39:02 PM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

I ally with the Greeks and declare war on the Germans. The Greeks seem to ally with the Turks a lot of the time and I don't want to have to deal with two nations if I declare war on the Turks later.

So anyway, conquest scenario in which I have the Greeks for my allies. I set my scout to auto-explore and start creating three citizens for my initial woodcutter's camp plus two for the farms and one to start building.

I research all of the level one library techs except for the military one that I already have as part of my nation's power. I build my senate, temple, market and new city.

I send a caravan out and start working on my resource collection within the new city. I build a university and create scholars with my accumulated wealth, as well as a granary and lumber mill.

I've been researching techs in the meantime, an important one being commerce level 3 which allows me to send out three more caravans to my Greek allies. Another university. And a mine.

I build a tower so I can start researching attrition damage. Science level 3 allows me to build a smelter, which I do.

Another city goes up with farms and a university. I'll be building military buildings here soon.

My Greek allies start rushing the Germans. Fat lot of good that'll do, Lysander of Sparta.

I reach the medieval age and start building military buildings in my third city. I won't be able to research the units in this age until I research military level 4, which I then do.

What's interesting about the Romans is how they get Roman legion type units into the gunpowder age. Who are capable of kicking the ass of every other heavy infantry unit around this time, including the Spanish Tercios. That have GUNS. No wonder the Roman Empire lasted so long in this Alternate History.

So I upgrade all my units. And then build a couple of AWESOME ROMAN CASTLES! I push back the German border to a comfortable level, making an invasion of Berlin easier.

I've researched all the library techs I need, so I kill all the scholars at my universities. I start building military units. 29 javelineers, 29 Caesar's legions, 20 heavy cavalry archers, 9 light cavalry, 11 knights, 7 trebuchets and 6 supply wagons, the army I start with and my Despot patriot general supplementing it. This is sometimes overkill, but yeah.

Finally completing my army, I organise them into groups. 1 is javelineers and the few crossbowmen I start out with, 2 is Caesar's legions, 3 is heavy cavalry archers, knights and light cavalry, 4 is trebuchets and supply wagons.

I throw my army up to Berlin. There's a castle next to it. Suppose I should have brought a scout. Oh well. I use the trebuchets to knock it down and then start pummelling Berlin with them. A couple of their citizens try to build another castle. Not on my goddamn watch. I get my cavalry to tell them to piss off. I capture Berlin and the capital timer starts. It goes down fairly quickly. I win this scenario.

Back to the "Risk"-Style Map and the Nubians, Egyptians and Mongols have decided to ally with me. Interesting, since they all have unique ranged cavalry. Might attack Holland next.

edited 3rd Jul '10 10:25:28 AM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

Sorry for the late update but I've been doing other things.

I give Alps to the Greeks so that they can act as an ally and I attack Holland.

The Greeks take one of the best woodcutting sites. Aaand soon after they become more powerful than I am. So long as the Dutch aren't on top.

Whoops, I forgot that you can send caravans to allies. Remedied.

I build an AWESOME ROMAN CASTLE near what would be Denmark.

The Greeks are rushing the Dutch and seem to be doing a relatively good job at it this time. Then again, the Dutch aren't exactly pulling their weight.

There's an area of Greek-owned territory that juts into Dutch territory. There's peacocks there (in medieval Holland?) but I'd be stupid to put a merchant there as any cavalry can waltz right in and ruin its shit, not to mention the armed caravans that the Dutch have.

But enough of that. I throw my army up to The Hague and take control of Holland.

I get an extra army and put it in Germany. I don't like the results of this army placing so I savescum so I can put it in Central Europe. Whatever, placing armies you get after you win a battle should happen after a turn ends, not before. Blah. Next time I'll attack Russia.

edited 16th Sep '10 7:13:13 AM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

Actually, I might attack Russia later. I buy Caucasus from the Turks and then attack Turkey. Because I'm using the Dutch Oath Of Fealty card, I start out with a couple of armed merchants. This also means that when I build my Senate I choose the Senator patriot instead of the Despot patriot that I usually pick, because he raises the commerce limit and thus allows me to use the resource collection bonus that the Dutch get.

I build a couple of ARCs. One of them is left inside of Turkish territory while a citizen is building it. I hope she can finish it in time. When I finish it, it turns out to be right next to a Turkish castle, just out of range. I build a general inside my castle to try to give my ARC a range bonus aaaand I'm still slightly just out of range. It was worth a shot. Instead I decide to build a keep, fill it up with crossbowmen and allow it to attack the fort. I manage to destroy it.

Anyway, I throw my army up to Istanbul and destroy it to Chicago by Sufjan Stevens as I had iTunes on shuffle. This soon changes to White America by Eminem  ^*

, which is maybe more appropriate.

I win this battle. After returning to the map, the British declare war on me but don't attack. It's fucking on now, chaps.

edited 24th Sep '10 6:36:40 PM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

Should I use a different metaphor for moving my armies than "throwing" them?

I'm able to purchase a Wonder Of The World card and do. I have the choice to be historically accurate and build the Colosseum in Italy. Nah. I'd prefer to build the Terracotta Army. As China was conquered by the Indians anyway, there's not much point in being accurate. Chinese refugees could have built it.

I give Germany to the Greeks. As the army I have there can't move into any adjacent territories, it allows me to put my army in West Scandinavia and attack the British Isles.

As the Brits used the Cultural Dominance card I won't be able to build any AWESOME ROMAN CASTLES and instead I must build Castles that are Roman but Also Par-for-the-course.

I build a few of these CTARBAPFTCs and a city in what would be Denmark, Northern Germany and The Netherlands, creating a good place to invade Britain from.

I cross the English channel. I find a castle on the coast of Britain that I just manage to slip my troops past and I attack London. Using the Turks' Oath Of Fealty card means I assimilate London quickly.

Back to the map. Nobody's declared war on me. Russia looks like a meagre morsel, maybe attacking Persia would be a better idea?

edited 25th Sep '10 6:03:48 PM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

Yeah...because "throwing" kinda implies that you're deliberately sending them to their deaths.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

I was more concerned about the repetition aspect, but yeah.

Whatever, I'll attack Russia. I decide to give Caucasus to my Mongol allies. Hopefully the Mongols can hang onto it so they can help me if I attack Persia later.

I don't dislike RoN's music but it can get repetitive after a while. So I decide to put on some Philip Glass.

...

Stop giggling. D:<

Anyway, I push into the Russian territory with my regained ARCs. This doesn't seem like much of an eventful scenario.

Um, guess I tempted fate there. Russia sends in an artillery armed army and manages to take out a stable and a barracks in one of my cities named Genoa. I manage to take out their cannons and allow them to be killed by my citizens garrisoned within my city. I build an ARC. The Russians destroy it but it gives me some time to do other shit. I had previously decided to build my army in Genoa but I thought screw it and thought I'd just build an army next to the ARC closest to the Russian capital (Moscow). This army destroys Moscow (to the tune of esteemed artist Lady Gaga's Boys Boys Boys) while Russia has been wasting its time capturing Genoa. Like I give a shit. I win the scenario.

Back to the map. It looks like Persia has declared war on me and is attacking my recently conquered Russia. I'll fight the Persians instead of bribing them. Just not right now. I should probably be exercising or something.

edited 1st Oct '10 4:25:33 AM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

I decide to actually conquer the attacking Persian army instead of just waiting it out, the latter of which is easy but fucking boring. Much ARCs are built and I get ready to capture the two Persian capitals.

The first one I capture is named Kiev. I start attacking the other Persian capital named Shiraz. Only that soon after I start attacking, it's not the Persian capital any more. A city named Persepolis is. Fortunately this capital is located next to a small lake with one of my docks in it. I was using it to fish, but I also have a bomb ketch in it that was wearing down Persepolis so my allies could capture it for themselves. So Persepolis can be captured easily.

I win this game. I can attack Persia now. But as they're currently allied with the Indians, meaning I'd have three capitals to deal with if I attacked them, I might want to reconsider my options.

edited 1st Oct '10 9:32:19 PM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

I decide to ally with the Indians, giving them Central Europe and some tribute. I guess that makes them Roma, kind of. However I won't attack Persia yet, instead I decide to invade Upper Canada which is under control of the Americans and mostly undefended. It's a tactics scenario, so I just move my army to the capital (Saratoga) without applying any tactics at all. The skill bonus doesn't matter that much.

I then attack Persia. After I reach the Enlightenment age within this scenario, my AWESOME ROMAN CASTLES (ARCs) are now AWESOME ROMAN FORTRESSES (ARFs. ARFs? I'm not using that abbreviation.) I push back the Persian border with these, allowing easy access to their capitals.

Anyway, I build up my army and send it out. The Persians send out an army that follows mine, so I tell it to stop. Fortunately, it consists mostly of crossbowmen. I destroy most of this army and move on to the first Persian capital called Khomein. I manage to capture it, but I lose most of my artillery. I build a siege factory to create more cannons and then attack the second Persian capital, Persepolis. I win the scenario before I assimilate it.

Being a bit spoilt for choice as for where to place my recently gained army, I just put it in Italy. Attacking the Americans seems like a good idea.

nope

I attack Acadia, former home of the great Iroquois nation but now owned by the Americans. This will be a field battle.

I start out with something cool that I just have to show you.◊ It's just so awesomely anachronistic.

I destroy the American barracks, yadda-yadda. Returning to the map, America attacks Acadia. This is a surprise attack scenario, so nothing special here. Just build a lot of units and destroy artillery. The timer goes down and I win the scenario.

edited 3rd Oct '10 4:51:10 AM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

I ally with the Aztecs. They're allied with the Maya and if I have to destroy the Maya later I don't want to go through both of them. I overrun Upper Canada to get a cool sabotage card and reduce the American capital Atlantic Seaboard's strength from 7 to 5. I then invade Atlantic Seaboard, location of the Colossus of Rhodes wonder.

America captures one of my Aztec allied cities named Texcoco. However the power of my AWESOME ROMAN FORT allows my borders to surround it and impede its development. The Aztecs recapture it.

I reach the Industrial Age. Too bad those Roman tank destroyers were cut content. Though that might have been for balance reasons.

The Americans send out pissweak biplanes to attack my forts. Durr. Enjoy your anti-aircraft fire, bitches.

Anyway, I build up an army and attack Washington, the capital, making sure to avoid attacking the Colossus of Rhodes. I capture it, but I lost most of my artillery due to an unfortunate attack at the rear. I should bring commandos next time. And I probably will, due to the Colossus's power being a population boost.

Scenario is won. Hooray. Don't know what to do next.

I should probably post my senate strategy.

• Classical age:
  • Despotism unless playing as the Dutch or with the Dutch's powers, in which case Republicanism.

• Gunpowder age:
  • Despotism unless playing as the Dutch or with the Dutch's powers, in which case Republicanism.
  • Monarchy (You can be a Monarchy and a Republic at the same time. The other option being Democracy means that this might work in the case of dictators like Oliver Cromwell or Josef Stalin.)

• Industrial age:
  • Despotism unless playing as the Dutch or with the Dutch's powers, in which case Republicanism.
  • Democracy (You can be Democratic and Despotic. Think of your least favourite US president.)
  • Socialism (Reduced assimilation time? Yes please.)

edited 9th Oct '10 7:00:30 AM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

I'll eliminate the Bantu.

I buy Central Africa and Ethiopian Highlands from them in exchange of tribute, Mesopotamia and Upper Canada. I then declare war on the Bantu and overrun both of those territories, gaining Commandeer Transport and Sabotage cards. I then give Central Africa to the Aztecs so they can support me. Time to invade Southern Africa.

This looks like a pretty easy mission. My Aztec allies even manage to take hold of two of the enemy's cities.

Anyway, I capture the Bantu capital Great Zimbabwe to fucking music from Pocahontas. Hey, I just have it because my parents got it 15 years ago. Also, I thought that Danish post-rock band Under Byen's song Af Samme Stof Som Stof sounded vaguely like the Award-Bait Song at the credits of said movie. Also, some of the tracks are gloriously narmy.

When I win the scenario, the Inca declare war on me and attack West Africa from across the Atlantic. I'll deal with them later, so I save my game.

Okay, I managed to stop the invasion by capturing the enemy capital, Seville. Nothing interesting to report. Seriously.

edited 21st Oct '10 1:40:48 AM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

Time for some dirty dealing. I trade Mesopotamia and Upper Canada for Llanos and Amazon. I then overrun both of the territories I gave to them, and attack Pampas. This is a Supply Train scenario, so I move all of my army around to destroy supply wagons, except for an explorer who stays still and therefore invisible, meaning even if the rest of my army gets wiped out I still win the scenario. I walk away from this scenario with a +70 Skill Bonus, which is alright I guess.

nope

I give Amazon to my Aztec allies and attack Andes. I start out in the Industrial Age and will reach the Modern Age, where I can get nukes.

Okay, I look fairly screwed in this scenario. The Inca own more territory than me and have developed nuclear weapons before me. They nuke a few of me and me allies cities, but I manage to fix them up okay. I build a few AWESOME ROMAN REDOUBTS (ARR, MATEY) to push back the enemy border. I suffer from constant attacks on my outlying towns, including the one where I'm building my army, so I send out an incomplete army. Fortunately, I can nuke their capital. I probably wouldn't have been here without the wonders of my AWESOME ROMAN FORTS/CASTLES/FORTRESSES/REDOUBTS. And nukes, of course. No wonder people disable them so much in multiplayer.

Oh, I forgot to mention. I captured the Porcelain Tower wonder last turn. I suppose I better list all of my wonders

• Terracotta Army in Italy
• Colossus in Atlantic Seaboard
• Colosseum in Spain
• Hanging Gardens in Egypt
• Versailles in Acadia
• Porcelain Tower in Andes
• Statue of Liberty in Pampas

edited 21st Oct '10 5:57:55 AM by Jimbobbowilly

nope

If I conquer Korea I will get an allied victory, but first I have to trade Pampas and some tribute for Northeast China and Japan. I overrun Pampas, of course (this is when I build the Statue of Liberty), declaring war on the Koreans. I ally with the Maya in exchange for tribute, Urals and (importantly) Northeast China. I use all of my current sabotage cards on Korea, reducing their territory strength down to 4. I then attack Korea with my army in Japan.

The Koreans send out dreadnoughts and destroyers, destroying my dock and one of my universities. Kind of a pickle. Better build a dock in a less reachable place. I attack the dreadnoughts with V2 rockets in the meantime. I build a navy at my new dock. This allows me to build Redoubts at the bottom of Honshu without fear of dreadnoughts and also build redoubts in the south of Korea. My Maya allies continuously nuke Seoul, which causes them to move their capital to Ulsan, which I nuke and capture to Placebo's cover of Running Up That Hill originally by Kate Bush.

Well, I've won this game with 67% of the world conquered. I might do another game and brush up on my liveblogging skills, but for now I might see if I can finish Eversion or something.

nope