Some long-winded ranting.
Last night my mom and sister got into a heated argument over my mom using sister's car without her permission. Sister got mad due to a previous conversation they had about her going to work and needing the car. Argument started getting worse, and then they both get into a shouting match which leads to sister going to her room.
My mom decided to resolve the situation by going upstairs and continuing to shout at my sister, which just aggravated my sister even more and lead to her hitting mother. Mom's crying now, as is my sister, and she's apologizing and sobbing that she didn't mean to. Sister starts begging my mom to forgive her, my mom's stressed out now and just wants to be left alone. Neither wants to meet up halfway and just calm down, which leads to mother vomiting. Sister finally goes to her room.
Now my mom is crying to me and saying she's a bad mother. I tell her she's obviously not, and give her some comfort. At this point it's getting late and I need to sleep for school.
So there I am, doing my best not to get emotional, and then I break down in my sleep.
I hate it. I hate where I am now. I hate my lower-middle class life. I hate the stress trying to get by is putting on my parents, my brother, and my sister. I hate my mediocre education. I hate the loneliness I feel day in and out because I have zero friends in the real world.
I hate the fact that every time I feel like something good is going, something else has to happen and slap it away, making me feel like shit for appreciating what I have now. I hate the people I'm surrounded by and their first-world fucking problems. Why can't people just be fucking happy with the fact that they have a roof over their head, why should I have to feel bad for what I already have? Why is it so fucking hard for me to just be happy? Why does it feel like I don't have control over any goddamn thing anymore?
I don't know what it is I'm doing wrong. I'm just tired of everything.