Worst abuse of Insane troll logic you've ever seen?

There was a lot less crime in my neighborhood until those damn Buddhist monks moved in.

At first we where happy because the Catholic nuns had the run of the place. The welts on our knuckles hurt like hell, and anyone would star saying “Hail Marry”s as a Pavlovian responses to a Nun screaming at us.

The monks came and ran them out of course. Those rulers stung like hell, but the Buddhist where packing knifes.

Our joy was short lived. The Buddhists started chanting, hitting bells, drums, metal bowls day and night, the smell of incense and green tea was heavy in the night air. People got caught eating meat or alcohol had the items confiscated or just dumped right in from of them and got a lecture about treatment of animals or not altering one’s mind with chemicals. People possessions where stolen or destroyed as we where told “these material things are temporary distractions from reaching enlightenment!” I myself was told that I would be liberated of my body by a Buddhist with a can gasoline.

“Start meditating!” I was commanded.

Thankfully, those monks are SO easy to trick. All I did was shout “Look! It’s the Buddha is walking down the road!” and that monk immediately turned around, pulled out his Kīla, and said, “WHERE?! I’m suppose to KILL that fucker if I see him!”

I escaped that day to tell this tale.

Don’t worry though, it sounds like a new gang is moving in and their protest signs may not be as sharp but they’ve got reach and their really good at intimidation. I think things will be MUCH easier when the Westboro Baptist Church gang moves in.

edited 13th Sep '10 11:30:24 AM by Justice4243

^ wat

If you meet the buddha, kill him. I seem to recall some kind of warrior mantra about that. Ahh well.

[[color:green:>warrior mantra]]
[[color:green:>zen koan]]

Wat

Wat nooooooo

edited 13th Sep '10 12:02:03 PM by Tzetze

The buddha?

Which one?

All of them.

Oh yeah, I also used to play SSBB competitively. I used metaknight and people would say I sucked even though I beat them constantly.

Several times, there was on person on Game FA Qs (I know) where someone keeps saying anyone who sucks in VS mode in Left 4 Dead 2 should be kicked and if they dare to complain about it, they should "QQ and suck less". Naturally, everyone else jumped his shit, saying new people cannot get better if everyone kicks them all the time. His response? "Get used to it."

Keep in mind that VS mode can only be played with people, so unless they actually got friends that are willing to help them out (which most likely is a no), they CAN'T improve if no one is giving them a chance.

"You should forgive Michael Vick because he makes more money than you do."

Yes, someone told me that.

A brief excerpt from an absolutely magical Guardian interview with the Insane Clown Posse (link here):

"Fog, to me, is awesome," he replies. "Do you know why? Because I look at my five-year-old son and I'm explaining to him what fog is and he thinks it's incredible."

"Ah!" I gesticulate. "If you're explaining to your five-year-old son what fog is, then why do you not want to meet scientists? Because they're just like you, explaining things to people…"

"Well," Violent J says, "science is… we don't really… that's like…" He pauses. Then he waves his hands as if to say, "OK, an analogy": "If you're trying to fuck a girl, but her mom's home, fuck her mom! You understand? You want to fuck the girl, but her mom's home? Fuck the mom. See?"

I look blankly at him. "You mean…"

"Now, you don't really feel that way," Violent J says. "You don't really hate her mom. But for this moment when you're trying to fuck this girl, fuck her! And that's what we mean when we say fuck scientists. Sometimes they kill all the cool mysteries away. When I was a kid, they couldn't tell you how pyramids were made…"

^ Meh, badly phrased, and not a position I would agree with, but not illogical in and of itself. Some people apparently can't enjoy things they understand.

Oh, and Killa Kamikaze, damn straight you suck at SSBB if you can only beat other players with the character who has at least a 60% win chance against every other character.

edited 12th Oct '10 8:25:20 AM by FeoTakahari

I'm still trying to figure out the logical leap between that and your girlfriend's mother being home, though.

Your girlfriend's mother wants you to not fuck your girlfriend. But you want to fuck your girlfriend. So "Fuck" your girlfriend's mom in the sense of "Let's not care about what she thinks."

Fuck that.

I mean, don't fuck that. Screw that.

I mean, don't screw that. The hell with that. Yeah.

English has great expletives, doesn't it?

Krutz!

That was very poor phrasing, but it's not actually illogical once you decode it.

I'm still positive that Miracles was a Stealth Parody, though.

edited 12th Oct '10 3:39:22 PM by BlackHumor

I once said "Women should abort babies with genetic defects" I spelled one word wrong by one letter, and someone replied with.

"Wow. You can't even spell. You're so stupid YOU should've been aborted."

Talk about troll.

generic defects?

No.

^^^Flamer?

Prolly. Just another pro-lifer that got all upset.

I don't think that's insane troll logic, though...

In the sense that it can't be called "logic", it is.

No, you see, it was a brilliant satire-by establishing that anyone can be considered of "unacceptable intelligence" for minor reasons, it delves into the inherent inconsistencies of a policy that involves the destruction of human life in order to exorcise such defects from the population!

Which is a bunch of bollocks mind you.

Now THAT is Insane Troll Logic.