I'm Not F-ing Prepared: Let's Play Fire Emblem Hector!:
- No death run. I got through the first Chapter without any deaths, but a death on any map means that I have to start over, and show you my pitiful attempt.
- You guys get to choose Who I use, and with whom they support.
- F** my Tactics Score, I'm save-scumming the arena at every opportunity.
Chapter 1 This is really... different from Eliwood's Tale. I'm in a castle. It's just Hector and Matthew. 4 archers, 3 soldiers, 2 knights (one is the boss) and a chest. Looks simple enough... Wait a moment, they expect me to take out a level 7 knight with a Level 1 Lord and a Level 3 Thief? WTF? I decide to go left first. Matt and Hector bust down the wall together, but Matt's in front. The Soldier and Archer can't reach, though. My Turn, Matthew falls back and Hector kills the soldier with his Hand Axe (thank Random Number God for that, btw). Enemy Turn: Archer attacks Hector, misses with 80%. Hector attacks Archer, misses with 61%. Sadness. My Turn: Hector goes up close with his Hand Axe, hits for 10 damage. Archer has 9/19 left. Enemy Turn. Archer hits for 2 damage. Hector misses. My Turn. Hector's Hand Axe misses. I bring Matthew up close in case Hector misses again. Enemy Turn: Hector Dodges Arrow, kills Archer with Hand Axe. My Turn: Move closer to next broken wall. Matthew goes after the chest. Enemy turn: Nothing. My Turn: Open door to chest room. Attack wall with Hand Axe. Enemy Turn: Archer hits Hec for 2 damage. Hector hits back for 10. Hec is at 13/19, Archer at 10/20. My Turn: Bust wall down. Get Red Gem from Chest. Enemy Turn: Nobody hits. My Turn: Hector kills Archer, Levels up for HP, Strength, Skill, Defense. I decide to go back through the broken wall in the chest room for precious XP. This takes 3 turns, and I chip at the wall with Hector. Next Turn, Matt breaks it down, and Hector goes after the Soldier still standing there. He crits with the Hand Axe. Enemy Turn: Archer goes after Matthew. Hits for 8 damage. My Turn: Lock Archer in between Hector and Matthew. Matthew hits Archer twice for 12 damage. Enemy Turn: Archer isn't in the doorjamb, and punishes me for being stupid by sending another arrow into Matthew. He's at 2/18 now. Archer and soldier move up. My Turn: Hector kills Archer, Levels for HP and Strength. Matthew runs like a bitch. Enemy Turn: Soldier goes After Hector, misses. Hector doubles soldier, misses once. Archer hits for 2 damage, Hector misses. My Turn. Hector goes after Archer with Hand Axe. Missses, Dodges counterattack. Enemy Turn: Soldier and Archer knock Hector down to 4 HP. Soldier dies in the process. My Turn: Vulnerary. Stand on pillair. Pray. Enemy Turn: Archer misses. Hector Misses. My Turn: Screw it, Wolf Beil. Archer's at 4 HP. Matthew still does nothing. Enemy Turn: Archer hits for 3 damage again. My Turn: Wolf Beil'd! Enemy Turn: Nada. My Turn: Move in range of Knight. Vulnerary Enemy Turn: Knight hits for 4 damage, getw Wolf Beil'd into oblivion. Hector steals his Vulnerary. From this point on, I'm screencapping level-ups. Hector Levels up◊ My Turn: 4 turns to the Boss, then I wait, Wolf Beil at the ready. Enemy Turn: Boss Attacks Hector. Gets Wolf Beil'd. Hector Levels Up◊ Story: Hector runs off with Matthew(not like that, yaoi fangirls). Hector's brother (who has the Incurable Cough of Death btw) sends Oswin to look after Hector. End Chapter.
Also, do you want me to pretend that the Tactician character is still there? S/he gets ignored in Hector mode. This first chapter is just a turn-by-turn thing, but that's not interesting at all, is it?
edited 5th Nov '10 11:27:39 PM by SalFishFin
edited 5th Nov '10 11:28:11 PM by SomeColorMage
edited 5th Nov '10 11:26:59 PM by SalFishFin
Matt and Hector are discussing where Eliwood could be, when the glorious Serra shows up, apparently with Oswin's permission. Matthew spots Eliwood fighting, and they rush off. Serra has to race to keep up. We get the same cutscene from Eliwood's Path, where Hector chops a dude in Half. And tells Serra and Matthew to follow along. That's two people I'll have to keep out of the way of giant Axes, isn't it? So Hector goes to Eliwood's Second Map, it looks like. This isn't so different anymore, is it? [[ Note: This is why Nobody Likes MS Paint.]] Oh, wait. Pegasus Knights. Huh. But this shouldn't be too hard. The Most I've got to deal with is a level 5 Pegasus knight, not counting the Boss. So I send Hector after the Brigand in the forest, and Oswin to take some arrows, while I put Matthew in range of that Brigand on the path, and Serra out of harm's way. Marcus goes to the Village to get a Secret Book, Dorcas And Bartre occupy the Fort and the House, and Eliwood and company move behind them. And Matthew gets hit for 9 Damage, when the Brigand had 36 to hit. What? Matthew doubles him in response, bringing him down to 6/20. Hector offs a Pegasus Knight that came too close, dodges a Hand Axe from the Brigand. Brigand and Archer attack Dorcas, both Miss. Brigand takes 13 Damage, now at 9/22. Level Up!◊ I take my chances and Heal Matthew so he and Oswin can take out the archer. Serra has no terrain bonus if the Brigand Attacks. And Matthew's in range of a Mercenary and an Archer. This was not smart, was it? Hector takes a Hand Axe to the Brigand. The both miss. At least they're both on Forest Tiles. Bartre finishes off the Brigand that's hounding Dorcas, while Eliwood, Lowen and Rebbecca take out the archer. Dorcas and Marcus move up. And the mercenary goes after Matthew, hitting for 6 damage; Matt doubles him for 10. Eliwood gets hit by a Brigand, does 10 damage back. Then the Brigand leaves Serra alone to attack Matthew again. Matt dodges and kills him. Pegasus Knights move closer to Hector. One attacks him. He dodges and Kills with the Hand Axe. The Brigand goes after Hector with the Hand Axe. Hector dodges and hits him for 11 damage. I heal up Matthew again, after he takes 6 more damage from the mercenary. Hector goes after the Brigand again, and both fail to land a hit. Oswin moves closer to Hector. Lowen kills the brigand on Eliwood's tail. Eliwood moves to a fort for some healing. A Pegasus Knight falls before Hector and his hand Axe. It breaks. Another one goes after Matthew. He takes damage, but levels up. Brigand goes after Hector (again) and misses (again). Boss moves closer. Level Up!◊ I heal up Matthew so he can go after the Pegasus Knight without getting killed. He still takes 10 damage. I move Eliwood closer to Serra so she can heal him for XP. Boss goes After Hector. Miss. Hector hits once for 13, misses second attack. Hector Wolf Beils the Brigand. I make trade Chain the Red Gem from Matthew->Oswin->Dorcas->Bartre->Rebbecca->Eliwood to buy 2 swords and a lance. Marcus buys a Vulnerary just in case. Boss hits Hector, who hits back once more. Dorca takes time to go shopping as well, buying a Bow for Rebecca and an Axe for Hector. Rebecca and Lowen off the boss. Level Up!◊ Story: Someone wants Eliwood dead. ... Wait, Eliwood still pays attention to me? And Hector, too? I though that the tactician didn't exist in Hector Mode? Anyway, looks like I am taking part in this, then. Apparently, Eliwood hired me after I helped Lyn with her stuff. And I have Eliwood's Vote of Confidence. Matthew just says Hi, but Serra yells my ear off and glomps me. Serra says the Tactician's Name◊ Nice to meet you, too Serra.
Note: I'm posting this on 2 other forums, so votes on those will count toward the story.
edited 6th Nov '10 12:12:43 PM by SalFishFin
Map◊ First of all, let's see if we Can't get Rebecca some experience off those Pegasi. Oswin equips his weak lance and heads into a Peg. Knight's threat range. Beks should be in attack range next turn. Marcus begins his role as Meat Shield by giving all his stuff to Lowen and heading down to where the action is. Matthew, Lowen, Serra and Hector head down as well. Everyone else moves to the left, Except Eliwood, who's somewhere in between the two teams because he got the Secret Book from Marcus. And a brigand takes a chop out of Marcus already. I can tell that this is going to be an excellent run. The Pegasus Knight pings off Oswin's armor, and he drops her down to 2/15 HP. Lowen dodges an arrow, but gets hit by a different archer for 4 HP. Becca Pwns the Peg Knight with an arrow to the face. The two axemen go bridge-building while Oswin aggravates another Pegasus Chick. Lowen Doubles one Archer, Hector handles the other. I should have traded an Axe to him, that Wolf Beil won't last long at this rate. Matthew doubles the Brigand. Serra backs off and Eliwood moves next to her. Level Up!◊ Level Up!◊ Matthew dodges an arrow and an axe and does away with the wielder of the latter. Oswin kills the Pegasus knight. D'oh! Ah well, He, Becca and the two Axe guys are head toward the bridge. Lowen heads after the archer and everyone else moves forward. On a related note, this◊ has got to be some kind of sign... Marcus stands on a fort and draws fire from Archers, a Cavalier, and a Brigand. None of them hit. Lowen gets a mine from the Augury Lady, but I'm stupid and so have to drop an Iron Lance. Everyone else moves forward. Dorcas heads for the town, while Bartre starts on another bridge. I plan to have Rebecca tank behind Oswin and kill some Cavaliers. Eliwood takes a lance from a cavalier, dodges a Hand Axe, Marcus dodges a hand Axe, too. And the Archers kill Eliwood. :(◊
I did complete this chapter, with a slight edit to my original plan. but I'll have to post it later.
- Matthew:Excuse Me, Chad?
- What's Up?
- Matthew: That skinny guy over there, with the headband and Green Ponytail. He looks awfully familiar.
- Huh. He has a name.◊ That being said, who in their right mind names their kid Guy?
- Matthew: Guy? I remember him! I gave him food in exchange for eternal servitude.
- ... What?
- Matthew: It was a Blood Pact back in my cult days.
- ... I don't even want to know. Anyway, you think he'll recognize you?
- Matthew: Only one way to find out. I'll have to talk to him.
- Alright, but we should clear these other guys out first.
- Matthew: Hold on! I know you! Isn't your name Guy?
- Guy:It's- Is that you, Matthew?
- Matthew: A Pleasant surprise! How's your swordwork coming?
- Guy:You are aware this isn't the best place to be catching up, aren't you? You and I... We're on opposite sides here.
- Matthew: What? Are you saying you're going to fight me?
- Guy:I... Well, Yeah. I'm much improved. You can't beat me.
- Matthew: You're quite a terror Guy. Well then... Hold on! I think I'd prefer it if you repaid what you owed me.
- Matthew: Y'know, I give you food, you pledge eternal servitude to Cthulhu and his worshippers.
- Guy:You remember that?
- Matthew: Not like I'd forget. After all, the people of Sacae never lie. Isn't that right, Guy?
- Matthew: What?
- Matthew: Oh, that's Chad. He's our tactician.
- Is he... alright?
- Matthew: Alright? Why wouldn't he- Chad, what the hell- are you dancing?
- Keep talking, I love this music!
- Matthew: What Music?
- Guy:What Music?
- You guys don't hear that? Dun -dudududuuuuuuuuu dudududuuuuuu dudududuuuuuuuuuuu dudadudodudoduda- No?
- Guy:So I sold my soul to Cthulhu and now I have to take orders from a retarded tactician. Grand.
- Matthew: Now would be a good time to tell you that I'm not with Cthulhu anymore.
- Guy:... What?
- Matthew: There was a schism shortly after you went on your way.
- Guy:Over what?
- Matthew: How to pronounce the name. Long or short U, hard or soft H, whether to pronounce the t-h as "th" or t-huh... Yeah. We decided that since the name wasn't designed for human tongues to pronounce, there was no real reason to worship it. I worship Formortilis now.
- Guy:But I-
- Matthew: Ah Ah Ah, you've already defected.
- Well, Hannah, since you're now my pupil of the etheric arts, I'd like you to do a reading of the battle that's about to start.
- Hannah:Oh, but of course! Er... Many of your foes will be carrying spears. You should take axes... Yes, many axes.
- Something I already know.
- Hannah: Hmm... And if that shrewish cleric girl is with you, take her as well.
- If? Serra has to be with me; we haven't recruited anyone else in a while.
- Hannah:Well, um... She might meet an old friend?
- You mean Erk? Who is right friggin' there, and all of us can clearly see even without the R Button? Any other advice you want to give?
- Hannah: The Weather! It looks like rain.
- Okay, I'll give you that.
- Hannah:Mmm... my bones ache... The signs point to rain, yes? Watch yourselves.
- One more word and I send you against a Silver Sword Myrmidon in the arena.
- Okay, we're gonna need a small team here. 9 Max. Matthew's on chest duty, of course. We need to park someone on the throne to keep it from being taken. Someone for Matthew to tank behind. All other spaces are up for grabs. Who volunteers? Please note that this plan is both shoddy and on the fly, and is not likely to work.
So... Who am I taking? Get to voting, guys!
edited 27th Nov '10 6:03:13 PM by SalFishFin
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