Badly misinterpret a Novel Or Book Series

You know the drill.
The Year is 1992 and kids are oblivious to the horrors of real life and are convinced that Monsters and stuff are scary shit. So a struggling former Comedy author uses his magic powers to make kids across America attacked by various ghost and ghouls. But the kids are scared all the time and can never defeat the monsters by themselves.So the kids don't know how scary real life is and are unprepared for College and they die poor and alone. Goosebumps

edited 1st Mar '10 7:50:37 PM by RobbieRotten

Satan was the good guy Paradise Lost

If an offense come out of the truth, better it is that the offense come than that the truth be concealed.

Arthur C Clarke's "The Hammer of God":

Rock falls, everyone dies.

Anti Heroes attempt to use forbidden magic to overthrow a despotic dictator. They all die, and almost get their country destroyed in the process, before order is forcibly restored by the dictator's personal enforcers. The book concludes with the dictator giving a Hannibal Lecture about how Humans Are Bastards. Guards! Guards!

edited 2nd Mar '10 8:22:48 AM by Taelor

The Philosopher-King Paradox

A group of children are given body horror powers and forced to fight an enemy that they have no knowledge of. Eventually they rise to the challenge and fight back. To cover their butts they enlist even more children to help them fight, only one difference, these kids are "special". In the end its all moot and everyone dies. Ohh and the series is being reprinted.

You will never love a women as much as George Lucas hates his fans.

Oh, hey I know that one it's A-...wait...it is?

New User Handle

A short person goes on a long trip to get rid of some piece of jewelry he doesn't want.

no one will notice that I changed this

^Classic. Thanks for that one.

If an offense come out of the truth, better it is that the offense come than that the truth be concealed.

Stuff happens, people die, its apparently about some kind of church mystery. Ohh and its all claimed to be real.

You will never love a women as much as George Lucas hates his fans.

Some guy gets his girl stolen by his boss, so has a tantrum and quits. Unfortunately the company can't last without him.

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!

Oooh! Animorphs!

Is that The Illiad?

edited 3rd Mar '10 7:27:03 AM by KillerRabbit

They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams for an instant, then it's night once more

... you're good at this Killer Rabbit...

A young man of a rural upbringing and mysterious parentage is contacted by a wise old man who wishes to help him fight a powerful, magical enemy. Throughout their travels, the young man attains magical powers of his own, and he avenges the inevitable death of his mentor by slaying his archenemy, thereby saving everyone and winning the love of a beautiful princess.

Two men, one staring North and the other staring South, stand on a rooftop. One says to the other, "Why are you smiling?" How did he know what the other man was doing?

A particularly sadistic parent apparently named their son 'You' and he has problems finishing books.

Kill all math nerds

A pampered jock skates through school on his athleticism, wealth, and connections, and claims glory for the accomplishments of his friends.

(I did not write that article, just found it).

And it just gets better from there!

Ahahaha.

edited 6th Mar '10 7:05:48 PM by MiracleWhipHipster

The mayo-lution will not be televised.

Due to the questionable policies of his followers, God and His angels find themselves at war with a megalomaniac with an interdimensional army. He [God] is soon killed by a couple of Enfants Terribles that are also responsible for the destruction of thousands of ghosts. His Dark Materials

edited 7th Mar '10 1:02:24 PM by SantosL.Halper

A mild-mannered man is abducted by aliens. Denied even the most basic of human necessities, he repeatedly tries and fails to escape back home. He spends the rest of his life drifting in and out of drug-induced hallucinations.

The earth is the secret host to ancient humanoid parasites. Their biological predisposition to blend neatly in society is the downfall of one young girl. Her best friend, who has inherited an immunity to the parasites, tries desperately to save her, but she is entranced by their hypnotic chemical excretions and doomed to join the infected.

A government agent foils the plot of two anti-government terrorists by pretending to be the leader of the very organization they wish to join. A good and merciful man, he rehabilitates the terrorists, and allows them to return to society.

"The man who was Thursday"?

Three kids solve a mystery and battle horrors to obtain an extremely shiny rock.

The protagonists journey to the center of the Earth.

Chap dies rather than have sex with his wife.

Submarine vs. octopi. What? I mean, look at the cover. Alternately: We all live in an anachronistic submarine.

edited 9th Mar '10 1:55:26 AM by harmattane

Ce ne pas un post.

Hero needs to find six objects.

Conversely, this could apply to Dragonball. Then again maybe not.

edited 9th Mar '10 1:53:45 AM by Mapi

My FF.net account

Alternately: Guy refuses to have sex with his wife. The Ancient Conspiracy hires his old fencing intructor as part of a convoluted Xanatos Gambit to trick him in to having sex with his wife. Turns out that he's better at it than they are.

edited 14th Mar '10 10:30:42 PM by Taelor

The Philosopher-King Paradox

This author writes spiritually uplifting novels about learned men using human ingenuity and sense of wonder to discover, uncover, and if necessary destroy strange entities. Heroically they are often willing to go through with it even if it costs them their sanity or lives, just to keep the rest of the human race not only safe, but blissfully ignorant.The complete works of HP Lovecraft

And it just gets better from there!