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Zenning Since: Jan, 2001
#1: Jun 21st 2010 at 5:07:59 PM

Well, here's a little thing I've been working on over on the Gamefaqs Anime and Manga board. I ended up going on a One month Hiatus because of Comcast ********, and I'm getting ready to continue is. But, err, I'm kinda at a roadblock, so I was thinking introducing it to a new audience is just what it needs.

http://docs.google.com/View?id=d743g83_8g6nnb5g9

Feel free to comment on what ever, add suggestions, or vote for the next suggestion, or about any tropes you think were done well, or badly.

Xeuorux Since: May, 2010
#2: Oct 17th 2010 at 1:12:15 PM

From what i read (about the first couple chapters or so).... So Okay, It's Average.

After seeing the parts about choosing the next action, I had expected possibly a "choose your own adventure" type of story. It confuses me that despite the fact that the entire story is written in the second person, the reader has no choice in the matter.

edited 17th Oct '10 1:15:48 PM by Xeuorux

Xenophobic xanthic xeric xalapeños xerox xenolithic xylophones.
SpaceWolf from The Other Rainforest Since: Apr, 2012
#3: Mar 3rd 2014 at 10:14:52 PM
Thumped: This post has been thumped with the mod stick. This means knock it off.
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