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GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#1: Feb 21st 2010 at 12:27:37 PM

Brooklyn handymen brothers take trip to upstate New York, where they go on another "trip" that makes them very horny for a stripper they know well and delusional that the plants and animals in the swamps near them have kidnapped her.

Amusement park adventures accidentally granted to madman. Someone has to run through them in order to stop him; a good robot designer designs many, many copies of a generic robot with teleportation powers to trudge through the madman's theme parks. Venture capitalists continue to fund him, however, because they're profitting like crazy from the news fallout.

Demon lord and ascended vampire has too much of a taste for BDSM, realizes he's gay, and terrifies the east European countryside to get it. Then he terrifies the east European countryside in order to protect his reputation.

edited 21st Feb '10 12:33:23 PM by GlennMagusHarvey

Pykrete NOT THE BEES from Viridian Forest Since: Sep, 2009
Noimporta Since: Jan, 2001
#5: Feb 21st 2010 at 1:31:30 PM

A Knight Templar hero betrays it's kind destroying anyone who displays free will, even if it's his best friend. Megaman X

edited 21st Feb '10 2:09:19 PM by Noimporta

NotSoBadassLongcoat The Showrunner of Dzwiedz 24 from People's Democratic Republic of Badassia (Old as dirt) Relationship Status: Puppy love
The Showrunner of Dzwiedz 24
#6: Feb 21st 2010 at 1:49:25 PM

Communists force little girls to gather drugs on the streets while insane junkies try to assault them, steal the drugs and kill the girls. The player is a "bodyguard" to one of the girls.

This is, apparently, Bioshock 2 as seen by local media in Middle Eastern Europe, more exactly, Eastern Poland. USA, please, invade us.

"what the complete, unabridged, 4k ultra HD fuck with bonus features" - Mark Von Lewis
MetaFour AXTE INCAL AXTUCE MUN from a place (Old Master) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
AXTE INCAL AXTUCE MUN
#7: Feb 21st 2010 at 1:56:09 PM

A Nobel-Prize-winning genius attempts to improve the world through robotics. At every turn, a band of neo-Luddite animals destroy his machinery and threaten his life. Sonic The Hedgehog.

edited 21st Feb '10 2:24:28 PM by MetaFour

I didn't write any of that.
Pykrete NOT THE BEES from Viridian Forest Since: Sep, 2009
NOT THE BEES
#8: Feb 21st 2010 at 2:02:01 PM

On that note, the last essay here plays the character in question as less of a Luddite and more as...something else.

GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#9: Feb 21st 2010 at 2:05:45 PM

In other news, please state what you're "describing", even if in spoiler or white text.

CapedLuigisYoshi Some Gal from right here, duh Since: Nov, 2009 Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
TriggerLoaded $50 a day, plus expenses from Canada, eh? Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Healthy, deeply-felt respect for this here Shotgun
$50 a day, plus expenses
#12: Feb 21st 2010 at 2:37:09 PM

In other news, please state what you're "describing", even if in spoiler or white text.

May I ask what your second 'misinterpreted game' in the OP is, then? I'm confused. I thought Mega Man at first, but the thing about venture capitalists throws me off.

As for me? Hmmm....

  • A damaged robot steals, slaughters scores of local wildlife, and even kills a few natives to stop the pursuit of knowledge. Cave Story

Wait, isn't this just Worse Than It Sounds? Meh, either way...

Don't take life too seriously. It's only a temporary situation.
MetaFour AXTE INCAL AXTUCE MUN from a place (Old Master) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
AXTE INCAL AXTUCE MUN
#13: Feb 21st 2010 at 2:39:42 PM

An amnesiac wakes up in a cave and steals a gun. Lacking any direction, he blindly follows the orders of the first people he talks to, slaughtering all the wildlife that gets in his way. When he does learn to think for himself, he decides to leave an old man to die at the bottom of a pit, and kills a sapient fungus.

Fortunately for all of us, his destructive tendencies are all focused towards a megalomaniac who's even worse than him.

Cave Story

EDIT: ninja'd, darn it.

edited 21st Feb '10 2:40:36 PM by MetaFour

I didn't write any of that.
GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#14: Feb 21st 2010 at 3:10:47 PM

Oh, mine were Mario, Mega Man, and Castlevania.

I was just justifying where Wily gets his money from.

Tangent128 from Virginia Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
#15: Feb 21st 2010 at 3:15:30 PM

Amid a chaotic First Contact with an alien empire, a grandfatherly administrator of a research facility bravely attempts to open negotiations- and not only avoids misunderstandings that could have led to the annihilation of humanity, but initiates the sharing of the empire's post-singularity technology.

Years later, a janitor from his former lab begins a rampage across the city and surrounding countryside, culminating in a jailbreak where swarms of ravenous predators are unleashed upon the guards.

Said janitor was provided with stolen Power Armor by ex-colleagues, who have since allied with a terrorist group under the guidance of a mind-manipulating race.

Despite successfully taking his old colleagues into protective custody, rehabilitation proves impossible, as he is betrayed by a supposed defector.

Even then, his accomplishments are acknowledged by the empire, who offer him a transhuman body as refuge. But before he can escape, the terrorists sabotage the reactor, condemning him to apparent death and the entire city to imminent destruction.

Half Life Two

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?
AC the Devil will fear me. Since: Jan, 2001
the Devil will fear me.
#16: Feb 21st 2010 at 3:22:56 PM

A man wielding a florescent light like a sword goes on a rampage, and manages to kill scores of personal bodyguards, an entire baseball team, dozens of corporate executives, the entire senior population of the local high school, a crew of miners, and his own half-sister.

He later does it again, killing a famous musician, more corporate executives, a team of cheerleaders, several prison guards, and completely destroys a corporate office, resulting in widespread destruction. In an incident believed to be a copycat crime, a teenage girl starts her own killing spree, killing dozens more, an eccentric philanthropist, and a beloved TV star.

No More Heroes

This one wasn't very creative...I'm sure someone else could do better.

GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#17: Feb 21st 2010 at 3:27:40 PM

Metroid: Mercenary hired by government to perform genocide does so, but also causes the loss of much planetary real estate.

MetaFour AXTE INCAL AXTUCE MUN from a place (Old Master) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
AXTE INCAL AXTUCE MUN
#18: Feb 21st 2010 at 3:35:14 PM

Knytt: Stockholm Syndrome: The Game. Your character must help rebuild the flying saucer of the aliens who abducted you.

I didn't write any of that.
Lordnecronus dOOOOM from Wales Since: Sep, 2009
dOOOOM
#19: Feb 21st 2010 at 3:46:28 PM

A faceless, ridiculously charismatic soldier fights Damon Baird and Cthulhu with the help of a racist, a turtle, a really impressionable cop, a biosuit-wearing nomad, one of the aliens from Avatar and some guy that everyone hates because he's similar to another guy from a different game.

After a nuke goes off and a robot army invades the capital city, the soldier and his team save the day, Baird transforms into a robot and has to be put down twice, and Cthulhu gets killed by a werewolf flying an invisible rocket ship.

Later on, the faceless, ridiculously charismatic soldier dies and gets brought back to life by some rich guy with fake eyes; he then goes and fights Terminator-building bugs in the centre of the universe and potentially gets everyone killed in the process.

Also there's sex.

Mass Effect. Both of them.

edited 21st Feb '10 3:46:40 PM by Lordnecronus

last.fm | RYM
BagofMagicFood Since: Jan, 2001
#20: Feb 21st 2010 at 4:28:56 PM

Contra is about FOOTBALL! You're trying to mow down all the evil football players always coming at you, while you also try to intercept their reinforcements in the form of giant footballs flying through the sky.

Daionusthe23rd Since: Dec, 1969
#21: Feb 21st 2010 at 4:35:38 PM

Beyond Good And Evil must be a nietzche game! Just look at the title!

TsundeRay HOORAY! from Santa Clara, California Since: May, 2009
HOORAY!
#22: Feb 21st 2010 at 6:02:49 PM

Any Beatmania-based Rhythm Game: Bullets are flying at you. Your diet consists of bullets, and thus you must catch the bullets instead of dodging them.

http://twitter.com/raydere | http://raydere.tumblr.com
Starbound2 Since: Jan, 2001
#23: Feb 21st 2010 at 6:08:25 PM

Kid discovers that all his favorite childhood cartoons are secretly out to kill him. Kingdom Hearts

Nikkolas from Texas Since: Dec, 2009 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
#24: Feb 21st 2010 at 7:49:04 PM

All that awaits us in the universe is Galactic Christian Fundamentalism and even though God exists, he's an autistic cosmic horror.

Xenosaga.

edited 21st Feb '10 7:49:18 PM by Nikkolas

Starbound2 Since: Jan, 2001
#25: Feb 21st 2010 at 7:58:31 PM

Two vicious samurai discover that the secret to time travel is cutting lots and lots of people. Muramasa The Demon Blade


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