Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted your reality is changed so now you were born hundreds of years in the past in some country that speaks Latin and died of old age decades ago.

I wish that in real life I could become a werewolf and have control of the werewolf form.

edited 24th Feb '17 2:04:50 PM by vjoi

Granted. You have no control of when you transform.

I wish I had a pet pig.

Granted. You're Charlotte and your pet's Wilbur. And the farmers are short on bacon...

I wish to be a judge in whatever courtroom handles the comic book villains.

Granted, but the ensuing Courtroom Antics drive you as insane as the villains on trial regardless of how many times you charge contempt of court (nice try though).

I wish for the secret to Krabby Patties to be revealed (for real this time).

Granted, it's made out of Crabs. Throwing the show even deeper into EVIL as it's shown everyone is a cannibal.

I wish to have 3 Ph Ds in stuff that's actually useful.

Granted. However, you already are so old by then that you can't remember anything anyway.

I wish I was a bit more sociable IRL.

Granted, you forge strong bonds... to all the wrong sorts of people. By the time you see who they really are, it's already too late...

I wish for more wishes. I changed it because I thought the previous one ^note  wishing for the wish to be corrupted was a bit awkward.

edited 25th Feb '17 9:34:39 AM by StarAndroidJaguar

Granted, unfortunately all of the wishes involve something horrible happening to you such as a needle in the eye.

I wish nobody on earth could lie.

Granted. There's only one person on Earth. And she's mute.

I wish the Library of Alexandria and the House of Wisdom and the Hundred Schools of Thought of China made it to the present day with all their books and scrolls intact.

A private collector purchases everything of value from there, and refuses to share all the ancient knowledge.

I wish I was a Ninja-samurai.

edited 25th Feb '17 2:04:17 PM by AHI-3000

Granted, but Ninjas try to kill you for your Samurai half, and Samurais try to kill you for your Ninja Half. Have fun with that.

I wish i had absolute control over Water.

edited 25th Feb '17 5:04:58 PM by Jaxfirebus

Granted. You accidentally desiccate yourself tying it out.

I wish to meet a matrioshka brain and live.

Granted. However, it turns out to only have the computational power of a Commodore 64.

I wish Hollywood would finance my film idea, Zombie Ninjas vs. Vampire Pirates vs. Werewolf Vikings vs. Robot Samurai, with minimal Executive Meddling, and for it to become a critical and commercial success.

It goes down in history as the spiritual successor to low quality films like plan 9 from outer space, the room and most video game movies.

I wish I had a death note.

Granted, every single school note you have becomes a Death Note, and you died because you signed on it beforehand.

I wish I can turn Codsworth into a Synth.

Granted, his new form causes a glitch that corrupts all your save files.

I wish for full communism.

Granted. But its only practiced in Shangri-La, and the last map to the place burned years ago.

I wish I could build a functional city as easily and quickly as playing Sim City 4.

Granted. You decide to emulate Vincent Ocasla^note yes, I know he plays SimCity 3000, but you get the idea and rule the city you made with an iron fist.

I wish there would be less hate in the world.

Granted, everyone becomes Extreme Doormat and is bullied by virtually everyone.

I wish every character in Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans was drawn in Ume Aoki's art style.

Granted. The art so enhances the impact of the plot that viewers everywhere give up on life and shut themselves up in their rooms in despair. Ume Aoki quits drawing forever as soon as the story breaks.

I wish I had an all-wise spirit advisor that I could reach on a cell phone.

Granted, but he only speaks in riddles that you never find out. Ever.

I wish everyone in the world had a Ghastly Gibus.

Granted, except they're hiding headcrabs in them (the hats).

I wish for a scroll of genocide.

changed it

well played

edited 27th Feb '17 2:30:47 AM by StarAndroidJaguar

You get an old scroll detailing Mongol atrocities in medieval China. (Were you expecting some artifact with magic properties? Too bad.)

I wish aliens ruled Earth.

*ding* Unfortunately, humans never survived the aliens' rule. And since the aliens are such resource-wasters, the Earth gets completely drained in about two weeks.

I wish to become a Jerkass Genie.

edited 27th Feb '17 12:27:38 AM by LegitimateIdiot

Granted. You can't do much sealed in that gem though. Don't worry, anyone who speaks flawless Sumerian can say the incantation to release you.

I wish The Great Cattle Raid of Cooley was made into an amazing movie.