Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted, she checks herself, yet she wrecks herself anyway!

I wish for this wish to be wasted.

Damn, never knew a wish could drink that much.

I wish to spare Ninja's wish a hangover.

It's transferred to you!

I wish I was a squirrelperson.

How's that a corruption?

edited 2nd Mar '15 6:14:21 PM by Bisected8

Bisected8 literally becomes Squirrel Girl from the comics.

I wish I could be like Cthulhu.

edited 2nd Mar '15 6:05:16 PM by sabrina_diamond

Granted! Just like Cthulhu you are now trapped in a sunken city. In addition the non-euclidean geometry down there drives you mad.

I wish I could create miruvor.

edited 2nd Mar '15 7:52:23 PM by Laicamir

Granted, but the mirovur takes a life of its own and rebels.

I wish I could explore inside my own body as a tiny person.

Part of the process involves eating yourself starting with your feet, making you look like a donut.

I wish to finish all the requirements for this semester and get over this semestral fatigue.

Granted, but you fail one of your classes you are forced to take remedial courses on it over break, thus negating the loss semestral stress.

I wish that the Dogs of Rotterdam were no longer chasing me.

Granted, the Cats of Claudyorface are chasing you instead. How bad is it? Read the name of that place out loud to yourself.

I wish to make the next wish absolutely useless.

The next wish becomes useless, but thousands and thousands of destructive, otherwise annoying wishes work at once and cause a World War, which proves catastrophic.

I wish that there would be a man-eating Venus Flytrap.

Granted, but a moment later a gargantuan tree-cutting machine appears, just beside it lies a post that reads, "I love you, Mom."

The machine sadistically and systemically rips the plant apart. Ok, that was just plain evil... Hahaha!

I wish I had 1000 more American flags.

Granted, but when you were carrying them, one of them touches fire. Guess what happens next.

I wish that my skin would no longer dry.

edited 3rd Mar '15 12:56:49 AM by TroperNo9001

Your skin is constantly moist to the point of feeling slimy.

I wish to turn the next poster into a frog.

quack, quack quaaaaaaack quaaaaack

quack quak quaquaquaquaquaaaaack, quak, qauack

Granted, but then the authorities get wind of what you're doing, have you arrested and confiscate your bacon. As they should, you sicko. Those poor slugs.

I wish to be brilliant at academic writing

Granted. Your brilliance will be recognized as such, however, some centuries after you've died poor.

I wish I had the power to respawn

Granted, you get Resurrection Sickness that worsens with each respawn and Everything Is Trying to Kill You. Eventually, your life becomes just as miserable as your moments of temporary death.

They say "you can't fix stupid". I wish for a way that's guaranteed to fix it.

edited 4th Mar '15 3:22:29 PM by aNinjaWithAIDS

Granted: Everyone who isn't above a certain level of intelligence drops dead. The survivors are intelligent enough to work out it was you who did it.

I wish I was Squirrel Girl.

Granted. Grace comes over and gives you a death glare.

I wish to be able to actually tell funny jokes.

Granted. Everyone in the world dies of laughter due to your jokes being too funny.

I wish for Five Nights At Freddys 4

Granted. You consider it the best game in the entire series; however before you can finish it, you literally die of fright.

I wish for Kingdom Hearts III.

Granted, but it'll come out in 2100, when you'll be too dead to play it.

I wish you wouldn't grant this wish

I won't, I shall have a friend grant it.

I wish for a longship.

Granted, but it springs leaks faster than you can repair them, and the Vikings won't help you.

I wish for my fingernails and toenails to be perpetually short.

Granted. They're so short that the painful fleshy stuff underneath is exposed, and they won't grow at all.

I wish for every theory about the universe to be true via recursive Multiverses.

edited 5th Mar '15 1:53:52 AM by engie