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I AM THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THEW HEOSLE WOR: Illuminatus!
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I AM THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THEW HEOSLE WOR: Illuminatus!:

 1 Tzetze, Sun, 30th Aug '09 5:24:34 PM from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
The First Trip, Or Kether

It was the year when they finally immanentized the Eschaton. Wow, good thing I know what "eschaton" means, eh? And it doesn't really have anything to do with "tons". Why, it sounds like it could be a ton of, say, wheat, but actually it's the end of the world. Immanentizing wheat would be kinda pointless. Well, no. Would cooking bread be immanentizing wheat? I think that it would be. And bread is never pointless.

Welcome to the Illuminatus!! liveblog! I've been told that wherein this book you can learn all kinds of crazy shit, like how the west was won and how to misuse the word "wherein"! I'm looking forward to it. Looking really forward to it. Like I'm practically falling flat on my face. This book is dangerous, folks. Face injuries every five seconds or so.

After that first sentence, the narrator relates that on April 1st the Doomsday Clock hit 11:59 and a bit, all because of some island tastefully named Fernando Poo. They're struggling to tell us why, however - seems that they're so high they don't even remember who they are. I've been like that. Once I thought that I was a triangle who thought that he was a pomegranate who thought that he was named Godzilla. So I can sympathize.

Also: Jramin (this is its name, I've decided) tells us about a squirrel. It's in Central Park. This has nothing to do with the aforementioned island or war, or it does, but Lramin doesn't know how. Needs moar schizophrenia. Clearly the squirrel leaping between trees is a signal to the agents of the Hashashin. They follow the subtle signs of nature, you see, and Mother Nature wants everybody to die. She's kind of a bitch.

"intellectual rapists": Best phrase, or bestest phrase? Anyway, Hramin thinks that not only is the world a stage in which we are merely players, but most of us weren't really coached, haven't rehearsed, and are probably really shitty actors. Clearly this narrator has an appreciation for the improvisations of jazz music. Except on stage, you know. So metaphorical jazz. Not as many plungers being shoved up trombones.

That was one paragraph. I don't know if I'm doing this right. Nevertheless, I will plunge forward into the toilet of liveblogging success! And none of you socialist motherfuckers can stop me! Bwahahahahahahahaha!
 2 Solstace, Sun, 30th Aug '09 5:27:17 PM from the Second Viennese School
Hexachordal Combinatorial
At the very least, it's amusing.

I remember the triangle incident.

(weaving)
That was more amusing than what of the actual book I actually remember before I decided to stop reading.
SHIKI is dead.
ALMSIVI
Ah, Tzetze. I've never read this book, and I've only had mild interest in it, but you are hilarious so I shall read your liveblog. That's practically the same thing, right?

Also, I wish your first paragraph was only a short sentence so that it could be my signature, but alas 'tis not to be.

And I have to say that this Triangle Incident sounds quite interesting.
 5 Tzetze, Sun, 30th Aug '09 5:36:50 PM from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
I'm sure that Solstace can relate it. Good to know that this can be considered "funny", as the kids say, since I can never gauge my own funnytude accurately. I'll get to work on the next bit, it's leaner and meaner.
rrrrrrrrr
I stopped reading sometime after the giant golden apple incident... but enjoy!
Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
 7 Solstace, Sun, 30th Aug '09 5:39:29 PM from the Second Viennese School
Hexachordal Combinatorial
I didn't remember the Godzilla part. But in AP Calc onetime, he was wondering what his name would be if he was a triangle. He decided it wold be "JEB". Then he started to wonder what JEB's name would be if he was a pomegranate, so on and so forth.

Though he may be referencing something completely different.
 8 Zyxzy, Sun, 30th Aug '09 5:40:21 PM from Salem, OR
Embrace the mindscrew
This looks promising. Don't abandon it please?
ALMSIVI
Huh. That doesn't sound as great as I thought it would. I'm a little disappointed.

Hopefully this liveblog will end this feeling of disappointment.
 10 Tzetze, Sun, 30th Aug '09 5:52:39 PM from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
Interestingly, Qramin has decided that, "right now, [it is] not at all whimsical or humorous". In fact, they're a Nairobian named Nkrumah Fubar. Heh heh, "FUBAR".

Now wait a minute! The narrator just said that they didn't know who they were! Well, I'm afraid that part of the earlier "shitty play" analogy turned into a circus. Zramin is the ringleader, and like any good ringleader, they show up in lots of kickass costumes. Like I went to a circus once, and the same guy was the ringleader AND a lion AND six different acrobats! All at once! That was one hell of an act. Good contortionist, that guy. But I digress.

Nkrumah  * is black, shockingly enough, and midway between tribalism and technology, "like most of [us]". In fact, Nkru (do you mind if I call you Nkru?) is a shaman, a Kikuyu ("KICK YOU!") shaman, who hasn't quite adjusted to city life. Still believes in witchcraft, but don't laugh - you avoid breaking mirrors.

Currently, Nki is engaged in constructing dolls of the rulers of America, Russia, and China. Yes, there is houdou here. There will be migraines! And hopefully not of me. I mean, I don't think that I rule any of those countries. In fact I can barely remember the last time I ordered anybody executed for treason. In any case, I've heard that this book is confusing. Hence migraines. But hey, if I can hear these mysterious words being tossed into the audient void, I'm sure I can take this migraine-free. Right?
(weaving)
Tzetze: Spontaneously ejaculate strangely-spelled names? Like Grignr? evil grin
SHIKI is dead.
 12 Solstace, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:16:27 PM from the Second Viennese School
Hexachordal Combinatorial
This is pleasantly incoherent.
 13 Meta Four, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:21:54 PM from the house of bread and battle
AXTUCE MUN AXTE INCAL
This is very entertaining.
 14 Wicked 223, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:24:37 PM from Death Star in the forest
What does any of this have to do with the book?
You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
(weaving)
Wicked223: Tzetze is telling us the plot of the book.
SHIKI is dead.
 16 Zyxzy, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:26:15 PM from Salem, OR
Embrace the mindscrew
houdou?

edited 30th Aug '09 6:26:29 PM by Zyxzy

Voodoo.
 
 18 Goggle Fox, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:28:05 PM from Acadia, yo.
rrrrrrrrr
You Do!
Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
 19 Solstace, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:28:40 PM from the Second Viennese School
Hexachordal Combinatorial
Do what?

edited 30th Aug '09 6:28:52 PM by Solstace

 20 Wicked 223, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:28:43 PM from Death Star in the forest
Remind me of a man!

edited 30th Aug '09 6:29:15 PM by Wicked223

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
 21 Goggle Fox, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:30:25 PM from Acadia, yo.
rrrrrrrrr
Solstace, you broke the reference! ;.;
Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
 22 Tzetze, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:30:53 PM from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
"Houdou" is a fancy modern term for what's usually called "voodoo". Transliterationscription or some such. Well, it's actually not, and I'm just typing out my ass.
 23 Solstace, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:31:34 PM from the Second Viennese School
Hexachordal Combinatorial
Are we thinking of the same reference? I'm pretty sure I got my part right.
 24 Goggle Fox, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:34:53 PM from Acadia, yo.
rrrrrrrrr
*checks...* Never mind. That part's said so quietly I forgot it :(
Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
 25 Zyxzy, Sun, 30th Aug '09 6:36:30 PM from Salem, OR
Embrace the mindscrew
I think it was Wicked.

Tzetze + Illuminati = INCOMPREHENSIBLE.
Total posts: 136
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