Retsupurae

Oh, son of a bitch.

Well that's mainstream game press. Always on their knees to give producers the most sumptuous review blowjobs. (Thanks, Noah.)

"Retsutalk".

RE: Gaming journalism: ...did that ever have any integrity? Or, rather, has journalism ever had any integrity since the decline of the muckrackers?

No wonder Ultima 9's boxart has so much blowjobs from top press on it

Well, you had Edward R. Murrow, at least.

I would like to point out that everything I've heard from the game, basically contradicts everything you just said. And even some of the more harsher reviews seem to suggest that the treatment of Lara ultimately worked in the story they were telling.

Also it's a next gen game that apparently isn't entirely linear nor open world, so I almost have to respect it by default.

edited 4th Mar '13 7:54:53 PM by kkslider255

Was never really interested in the Tomb Raider games to begin with, so it doesn't really matter to me, but I can understand all the reactions to it at least.

Tomb Raider isn't next-gen. It's pretty strictly current-gen, in fact.

I'm unimpressed by Tomb Raider, (SPOILERS) especially when I saw the final boss (SPOILERS). It reminds me a lot of the Uncharted series, which I don't like much either.

That said, one of the puzzles (the one with the lamp electrocuting the water) looks interesting.

edited 4th Mar '13 8:09:17 PM by Scardoll

The leadup didn't help though.

So out of curiosity, I looked on Retsupurae's YouTube page, and the stuff that whoever is doing the uploading is writing with each upload of the podcasts is gold:

Also:

Wow, that last screamer actually startled slowbeef. Now there's something you don't see everyday.

What the hell is a big Jessie?

This lady, perhaps? (0:47 in.)

I thought the Tomb Raider reboot was purely exploration based and thought it'd be cool in a Metroid Prime sort of way, but then I saw shooting sections and immediately wavered. Either way, I've hard from sources I respect it's actually pretty cool so maybe I'll check that out sometime.

Sorry to go back to Tomb Raider but having a conversation about the actual game in the game sections is a little bit difficult.

Indeed.

I saw the final boss and ending and actually, Lara does seem to get a bit more confident at the end, helping that girl out and all. So she's not gone fully Mikuru on us. More...Elly Van Houten level.

Think I found reviewers for C&I to riff on that are worse than those Shakespeare guys. They're loud and annoying to listen to, their complaints are, well, kinda dumb at times, and their intro is almost a minute long, followed by another intro!

edited 5th Mar '13 6:06:18 PM by 0dd1

I'm too lazy, who do they list? I'm guessing Blue made it on there judging by the thumbnail.

Watching further into part 2, they pretty much spoil every single game in the top 6.

And I haven't played most of the games they pulled the characters from, but from what I remember in the video, some guy in FF 10 they think is whiny, Blue, Porky, some owl from Ocarina of Time, some guy from a Tony Hawk game (which they decided to put MLP music behind for no good reason), Mr. Dream from Punch-Out...

You know what, they do a recap in part 2 anyway, right at this point in the video.

edited 5th Mar '13 6:16:08 PM by 0dd1

Somebody's mad Gary Motherfuckin' Oak took that Charmander, I guess.

I'm gonna say it was Bam Margera. Not big Jack Ass fans.

Well I guessed correctly about it being Eric Sparrow from Tony Hawk's Underground.

I really do need to wonder how people can make videos like these and not cringe at how they come out. Or, even, if they do cringe at it, how they don't try to improve upon their flaws or, failing that, just stop. (I speak from experience here. There is an "abridged series" I made way back when I was a mere teen that, quite possibly, might just be the worst effin' thing on You Tube. I made three episodes, then, realizing how much it sucks and being too lazy/busy/both to work to fix it, just gave up on it altogether.)

On that vidya list:

15. I never played Dynasty Warriors so I don't know who this is.

14. Didn't play Punch Out! either, but I'm guessing he and 15 are just annoying bosses.

13. I have actually played Kingdom Hearts, just not this one.

12. I guess? Pokemon's not really known for it's strong story, I never really found blue that upsetting.

11. Um...not really. Guilty Spark's a little on the generic side but he's note exactly angering. A little boring for his story potential, bubt not really maddening.

10. I don't actually know anyone who hated the Duck Hunt Dog. It really seems like more of an internet thing then something people really hated.

9.I don't know who that was.

8. Not ringing a bell.

7. No, I don't really agree with this one. Dormin's pretty evil and all but he's not really forcing you or tricking you. He does everything he promises and even warns you about the consequences of your selfish actions. Wouldn't really call him hated.

6. Alright sure.

5. alright. Only for the dog though.

4. Eh maybe. A lot of folks hate Tidus, others really like him. Generally, most people just seem indifferent to him.

3. Sure, but not for story reasons. Owl's just an exposition fairy, he tells you where to go and what to do. It's really just the way his message repeats that's upsetting. Really just annoying though.

2. dunno lol

1. Yeah Jasper sucks.

The sole reason they hate Mr. Dream from Punch-Out is because he replaces Mike Tyson in the rereleases of the game. They even say that other than the character change, he is exactly the same as Tyson in every way.