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Wild Mass Guessing:
Tool is a Stealth Parody
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Tool is a Stealth Parody:

dOOOOM
(I could have put this in Music, but decided to put it here instead.)

Tool is a massive Stealth Parody of prog rock bands. Their fans know this, so they act like the most pretentious fanbase of all time as part of the act.
 2 Bobby G, Mon, 14th Dec '09 3:47:59 AM from the Silvery Tay
vigilantly taxonomish
Are Tool actually progressive? I haven't heard enough to be sure they aren't just yet another overblown metal band that pretends to sound like King Crimson.
dOOOOM
Are Tool actually progressive?

Well, yeah, I would call them so. Their later stuff is more prog-like, though. They also have a notable tendency for wankery in their songs (though it's less flashy than Dream Theater).

EDIT: Also, some of the tracks on their albums are... well, they wouldn't come from anything but a prog band, I'll just leave it at that. ("Cesaro Summability" - search it on YouTube)

edited 14th Dec '09 3:50:40 AM by Lordnecronus

 4 Kinkajou, Mon, 14th Dec '09 3:50:33 AM from you're not your
We Do Not Sow
They embody True Art Is Incomprehensible, for one.

But what about A Perfect Circle?
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
dOOOOM
wild mass guessA Perfect Circle are actually Tool in disguise. Except Maynard is a woman in APC.wild mass guess
 6 Kinkajou, Mon, 14th Dec '09 3:56:12 AM from you're not your
We Do Not Sow
Except Maynard is a woman in APC.

I've heard that before somewhere...
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
 7 Bobby G, Mon, 14th Dec '09 3:59:35 AM from the Silvery Tay
vigilantly taxonomish
"Cesaro Summability" was really weird. Maybe they are prog after all.

I'm one of those people who gets annoyed when people mistake Radiohead for a prog band, so perhaps my definition is stricter than most people's.
dOOOOM
Hm, Radiohead, that reminds me...

wild mass guessTool and Radiohead are actually working together to set their obnoxious fanbases against each-other. Once the Tool fans and the Radiohead fans finally decide to fight each-other, they will start World War 3, which will result in Tool and Radiohead becoming the rulers of the post-apocalyptic aftermath world once all the other bands and their fanbases are dead.wild mass guess

edited 14th Dec '09 4:05:01 AM by Lordnecronus

 9 Kinkajou, Mon, 14th Dec '09 4:10:59 AM from you're not your
We Do Not Sow
Kings Thom and Maynard are pleased with your reveal.

Now wait as their guards escort you to Room 101.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
 10 Bobby G, Mon, 14th Dec '09 4:15:15 AM from the Silvery Tay
 11 Kinkajou, Mon, 14th Dec '09 4:17:15 AM from you're not your
We Do Not Sow
They're the Red Shirts, of course tongue
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
dOOOOM
Muse fans are the resistance. Matt Bellamy is of course their leader, and he was the one who informed me of the Tool/Radiohead conspiracy.

edited 14th Dec '09 5:16:24 AM by Lordnecronus

Clutch pedal = sidestep
I've come to hate Tool for being so damn pretentious (although I love how the band comes together in their music, especially the more instrumental stuff like Triad; I just hate a lot of their True Art is Incomprehensible stuff). Now that you bring it up I'm worried that Manyard has played up a fake pretentiousness to help this parody illusion.

God. Damnit.

EDIT: Never mind, WMG. But it's damn plausible, if you take Manyard's avoidance of a quote unquote "rockstar lifestyle" or whatever to avoid getting his kids involved or whatever.

edited 14th Dec '09 11:48:41 AM by Barcode711

Worshipper of Ahura Mazda, as proclaimed by Zoroadster
 14 valbinooo, Wed, 16th Dec '09 2:09:43 PM from Gas City, IN
une jedi
Tool may not be a stealth parody just because Maynard keeps his private life on the down-low. That's like saying Meryl Streep is discreet about her life so she MUST be a stealth parody of an actress. Or whatever. Analogy Backfire, maybe? xD

Anywayy

In all seriousness, take a look at Maynard's solo project Puscifer. Good sound, utterly obscene lyrical content for the most part. And a lot of Tool songs can be taken very sexually. Hmm...could Maynard be metaphorically slapping us in the face with his dick?

Either way, Tool makes some amazing music.
yar
Almost hobo
"Hmm...could Maynard be metaphorically slapping us in the face with his dick?"

valbinoo, have you ever heard a song of theirs called Maynard's Dick?
After listening to the dicks, pussies and assholes monologue in Team America, I could think about one thing only: "You are what you eat."
 16 valbinooo, Thu, 17th Dec '09 3:43:31 PM from Gas City, IN
une jedi
Actually, yeah. xD

yar
dOOOOM
I've got it!

wild mass guessMaynard uses his dick to control Tool's fanbase, since his dick is psychic or something. When the Tool fans and the Radiohead fans finally decide to battle each-other (Radiohead's fanbase being controlled not by Thom Yorke's dick but by Colin Greenwood's), Maynard transforms his dick into an Eldritch Abomination which destroys everything in the world.wild mass guess
 18 valbinooo, Thu, 17th Dec '09 4:23:36 PM from Gas City, IN
une jedi
Everything makes sense now.

edited 17th Dec '09 4:31:07 PM by valbinooo

yar
 19 Sir Psycho Sexy, Mon, 4th Jan '10 4:36:32 PM from Texas Panhandle
The Sensui Fan
Maynard's penis being an Eldritch Abomination is the best theory I have ever heard. EVER.

And yeah, I can see Tool being a Stealth Parody.
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
Scratchin' vinyls
Wait, how can Maynard be a woman in APC? He's the lead singer!

By the way, I'm a Tool fan and I don't act that way. They must be a parody that also makes very good songs.

edited 22nd Aug '10 3:24:31 PM by mcb01932

Hm...what's another name for dick? A TOOL! And who makes these albums? TOOL! MAYNARD IS MAKING PEOPLE GO OUT AND BUY CDS MADE BY HIS DICK!!!!
 
 22 Sir Psycho Sexy, Fri, 15th Oct '10 7:29:43 PM from Texas Panhandle
The Sensui Fan
He'll make you ride a mile six inches at a time on it.
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
I may be the only casual Tool fan alive.
 24 Madass Alex, Wed, 3rd Nov '10 1:28:38 AM from the Middle Ages.
I am vexed!
There are, in fact, two of us.

I interpret Tool's lyrics as essentially "art is ultimately meaningless and only has the value we project on it. This is all bullshit, but I'm using the obnoxious fanbase to juxtapose my actual stance, illustrating exactly how far subjectivity stretches."

Something like that.
 25 Bananaquit, Wed, 3rd Nov '10 4:18:14 PM from The Dariťn Gap Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Columbia is tired of your s**t!
Are Tool actually progressive? I haven't heard enough to be sure they aren't just yet another overblown metal band that pretends to sound like King Crimson.

Thatís my take on them pretty much. Iím a pretty big prog fan, but I found Tool to be absolutely impossible to take; kind of like Korn with Berklee degrees and the artistic pretentions to go along with them. Mind you, Iím seriously old-school in my prog fandom and generally donít care for metal mixed in with my prog.
The Movie Explorer: discovering oddities from the cinematic jungle.
The system doesn't know you right now, so no post button for you.
You need to Get Known to get one of those.
Total posts: 25
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