I thought it was bad logic.
And Huckenbeims. Damn Huckenbeims.
I still need to translate some of this into Maori, but in the meantime, the next part of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Di Vision:
“That spell,” said Hayate with a distant gaze, “is Limbs of the Vine.”
“You know it?” asked Yuuno.
“I know every spell that was used by someone who had their linker core absorbed into Reinforce over the many years that she was The Book of Darkness. Remember that The Tome of the Night Sky was originally made to collect spell information.”
Escudo walked out the door of the building. “If anyone is hiding in there, remember that I warned you!” he called out.
“I only want one person down there for now,” said Lindy. “We don’t know what’s going on, so I want to keep as many in reserve as possible.”
“Send me!” said Nanoha. “I’ll ask him why he’s doing this!”
“Are you sure, Nanoha?” asked Lindy. “You’re one of our best, but I’d rather save my trump cards for when I need them.”
“Please! I can’t just stand here and watch!”
“Okay. Amy, send Nanoha down.”
“Thank you, Admiral Lindy,” replied Nanoha and she rushed to the teleporter.
(/)
A large green spiral surrounded the building as Escudo lifted his device. “Jade Conquest, bring forth the ferns of destruction. Let them crush my opposition,” he said.
“Constrict Vine,” replied the device.
“What are you doing!?” asked Nanoha as she appeared and the vines crushed the building to rubble. Back on the Asura, the jaws of the crew had dropped. “Those walls were magically reinforced like the hulls of ships are!” Amy said. “Doing that would require at least AAA+, possibly even S- level power!”
“Nanoha!” cried Lindy. “This man is very dangerous! Don’t be reckless like you normally are!”
“You!” cried the man as he turned to Nanoha. “Dog of the TSAB! Don’t you realise that you should be serving your own planet rather than doing their dirty work!?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” replied Nanoha, “but I must ask you not to destroy buildings. Please tell me why you’re doing this! If you come with me peacefully, you’ll be allowed to testify in your own defence!”
“A fair trial from Mid-Childans? What a laugh! I’ll take my chances with superior firepower! Not even you can stop me! Leave, before I’m forced to hurt you, little girl!”
“My name is Nanoha! And I promise that if you cooperate, there’ll be nothing to worry about!” Nanoha lifted Raising Heart.
“I’ll only be forced to be a soldier for the TSAB like your friends, well no thanks!” He pointed Jade Conquest below Nanoha’s feet. “Jade Conquest, free the searing water from the earth!”
“Geyser Torrent!” added Jade Conquest.
Nanoha jumped into the air as the ground below her split with green light. “Protection!” she yelled with Raising Heart as a jet of boiling water launched itself at her. The pink shield cracked under the pressure of the boiling water, but Nanoha flew out of the way as her shield fell. “Divine Buster,” said Raising Heart as Nanoha pointed her back at Escudo.
“Raise me to safety!” ordered Escudo.
“Stilts of Defence,” replied Jade Conquest. Another spiral formed at his feet and he was boxed in with magical walls which lifted from the ground on legs made of magic. Nanoha’s blast slammed into the box to no effect. The walls fell and a vine dropped to the ground to hold Escudo aloft. He lifted Jade Conquest.
“Leave now! You don’t know what you’re getting involved with! Return to Earth!”
“I can’t do that!”
“Power of the volcano, sear her from the sky!”
“Earth Flame Jet.” A jet of green fire launched from Jade Conquest. Once again, Nanoha dodged.
“You’re not fast enough to keep dodging me forever!” Escudo called out.
“But I am,” came a whisper from behind him. He turned to see Fate slice through the tendril holding him up. He fell towards the ground, stopping as his other three tendrils stopped him from hitting the ground.
himitsu keisatsu
“I know every spell that was used by someone who had their linker core absorbed into Reinforce over the many years that she was The Book of Darkness. Some were... kinky."
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Also, "His devive" in the third sentence.
Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.
The future of warfare in UC.
I'm trying to write Hayate's funeral, but all that keeps happening is Vita flipping out.
edited 14th Oct '12 10:57:23 AM by Night
Nous restons ici.
@IANCE: ![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
In character too!
As for the typo, thanks. Fixed in the scource document.
If you can't write that actually funeral, then don't. Just write a perspective character thinking back on it.
edited 14th Oct '12 6:30:27 PM by SCMof2814
Fandom Heretic
Night, I have the utmost confidence that screwing up is physically impossible for you. Just take a deep breath, do what comes naturally to you. Coming from you, I can state almost as empirical fact that it will be fantastic.
Use the Force Luke! Trust your instincts!
The future of warfare in UC.
Okay so now it's Signum flipping out, but that works out well enough given that the planned ending could use either that or CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT her actually resisting flipping out.
And it helps build up the Signum and Chrono relationship that's going to cause trouble.
Nous restons ici.
Fandom Heretic
Say, does anyone remember which episode of TOS had the flashback of Nanoha slapping Alisa and making friends with her and Suzuka? I got a fair bit of work done for "Girl of Tomorrow", and I'm in the middle of adapting that particular scene.
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
I have always known that my faith in you is not misplaced. And Character Development is A Good Thing.
edited 15th Oct '12 7:56:56 AM by EvaUnit01
himitsu keisatsu
Be sure it's development and not derailment...
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
The future of warfare in UC.
To be honest it's not even very obvious it's development, since she's tended towards a level of stoicism. Hell, the OTHER ending might be the one regarded as development.
If I use that ending. Which I may not. I won't get to it for a long time and I've already set up two possible endings.
edited 19th Oct '12 9:50:53 AM by Night
Nous restons ici.
Fandom Heretic
Take your time.
Another chapter from me, for MGLN: Through a Mirror, Darkly, Chapter 6: Masks
Can find the rough draft here: http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?p=4402632#post4402632
(FYI for those who don't know, but it's my pitiful attempt to give Vivid a more involved plot, as it takes place in my Crisis AU)
And here's a snippet:
“We've looked at the map several times already,” Teana pointed out, gesturing to the flat, holographic Mid-Childa map on the wide table, which took up most of the room's center. “We only have two data points, which are the two attack locations. Maybe with a third we could triangulate, but even then, that might not mean anything.”
She looked up to gauge the expressions of her companions, Ginga, Subaru, and Cinque, but all she could read was contemplation and concentration. She hated suspecting them, but until she knew more about who the possible leak might be, she had to keep her cards close to her chest. And besides, she reminded herself, they might not even be aware they were a leak.
Ginga pursed her lips and tapped several keys on her screen, changing the view of the map. “Maybe, but I have to agree with my sister; I still think we're missing something. The first attack was the town of Cantor, here, several hundred kilometers to the southeast of the Saint Church autonomous area. The second, just south of the zone at a Bureau base, which usually is for the purpose of joint-training exercises with the Church Knights. In both cases, there were no survivors, except for the two small children that were recovered from the first. However, they have been mute since then, unable or unwilling to speak.”
“We still do not know why these two locations were targeted,” Cinque added, her one good eye flicking between the map and a screen of data. “It does not make sense as to why an individual would destroy a small town in the middle of nowhere, and then a base dedicated to working with the Church. All it has done, is raise the fear of the people.”
Teana shifted in her seat, and then stood up, circling the table as she tried to pin down that idea niggling just at the outskirts of her consciousness. “And increased distrust between the Bureau and the Church. But what would someone have to gain by doing that?”
Subaru perked up. “Tea? I know that look. You're thinking of something.”
Teana held up her hand and ticked off her fingers. “Two possibilities come to mind. One: someone wants the Bureau to have control of the Saint Church. Or two: someone is trying to start a civil war between the Bureau and the Church. Also, the targets hit so far aren't very strong. The civilian town is obviously not well defended, but you'd normally think the base would be a difficult target. However, it was currently undermanned, with only a few standard Enforcer squads for protection; all of the normal aces and military members were currently deployed elsewhere, or on vacation. What was left, was the base support personnel and their families.”
“So you think it's the former reason, then?” Ginga ventured. “Someone knew when it was at its weakest, and chose to hit it then? Sacrifice our own weak troops to justify a reason to take control of the Saint Church?”
If you don't want to go to AS, I'll have it up on ff.net sometime tomorrow.
edited 19th Oct '12 4:46:48 PM by Kaijo
"I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Attributed to Voltaire
Pronounced YAK-you-luss
Mind if I take the Vorpal Blades of Editing to that? Noticed a few things there that didn't quite sit right.
Feel free! It's why I call it a rough draft, heh. Even if I catch stuff, I know I'm probably missing things.
"I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Attributed to Voltaire
Fandom Heretic
After getting mp3 of the Superman theme tune, I had a massive creative burst and cranked out a good few pages for Girl of Tomorrow. Now I just need to go about adapting the first episode and then I'll have a complete chapter.
The future of warfare in UC.
A random thought occurs.
We know the Wolkenritter retain knowledge which is no longer common in the modern era, such as their magic style and Strike Arts. (I think you count the number of other people in the setting who know one or the other using your hands, and though I can't swear to it I think you might only need one.)
But they don't seem to retain behavior very much. There are a couple of moments in A's that could be classified as "acting incomprehensibly Belkan Knight" but you'd think we'd see a little more than that.
Nous restons ici.
That's also something I think they should have played with more with the Servants in Fate Stay Night.
Edit: Probably a discussion that is better had in the other, more general Nanoha thread.
edited 20th Oct '12 10:13:01 AM by Kaijo
"I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Attributed to Voltaire
The future of warfare in UC.
Perhaps.
But it's clear, too, that version Zafira practices and taught to one of the contestants in the Inter-Middle is sufficiently different from the modern version to be worthy of commentary and possibly treated as a separate style. (The manga appears to regard it as such, in comparison to that used by others.)
The idea their memories have gaps sufficient to wipe this out is also contradicted by canon in that it's clear their memories are intact enough for them to recount whole past lives or offer general commentary on their pasts (c.f. when they talked about how Vita had changed). And "broken" could mean many things beyond simple memory gaps. The actual implication around that line is that their memories aren't missing; they're messed up in such a way as to render them difficult or impossible to interpret. (Which is clearly not true, and raises the possibility they lied.) Even if they do have memory problems, their actions and the way they identify themselves to themselves as Belkan knights still makes it almost certain they remember what exactly a Belkan knight is and how one is supposed to behave.
The idea they were ever actually human is without canonical foundation.
edited 20th Oct '12 10:27:22 AM by Night
Nous restons ici.
Pronounced YAK-you-luss
Right then, let's go.
- You mention 'map' three times in the first few sentences. Maybe have Teana say 'we looked at it' instead - or, this being Teana, something rather crankier, like "What, you mean the first six times weren't enough?".
- but all she could read was contemplation and concentration. This is a bit clunky. Maybe something like 'but they all looked just as tired and puzzled as she did'?
- The second, just south of the zone at a Bureau base, which usually is for the purpose of joint-training exercises with the Church Knights. Again, clunky, and I think you've got a split infinitive there. Alternative suggestion: "The second attack was here, just south of the zone. They hit a Bureau base we normally use for joint training exercises with the Church Knights." Come to think of it, wouldn't they know all this, if they've all been poring over the map for hours? After the first sentence, you could have Ginga say "OK, let's review.", or something. Makes it clearer that she's getting her thoughts in order.
- It does not make sense as to why an individual would... is, again, a bit inelegant. Perhaps "There are few reasons for an individual to...''.
- All it has done, is raise the fear of the people. Very clunky, and that's a badly-placed comma. Alternative: "All it has done is frighten the public."
- And increased distrust between the Bureau and the Church. I think 'and it's increased' would make what Teana's trying to say clearer.
- Also, the targets hit so far aren't very strong. 'Were pretty soft' works better - usually, the military refers to soft and hard targets.
- The civilian town is obviously not well defended. Surely 'was'? From what the extract suggests, it got wiped out.
- all of the normal aces and military members were currently deployed elsewhere, or on vacation. Iffy comma there. I suggest 'were either on vacation or deployed elsewhere'. It should technically be 'on leave abroad', too, but since this is the Bureau...
- What was left, was the base support personnel and their families. Bad comma, and the rest, again, could flow more smoothly. Also, since we've already established we're talking about a base, there's no need to call them 'base support'. Alternative: "The only ones left were the support personnel and their families'.
- Can't really say I get Ginga's reasoning at the end. Whether you want to hurt the Bureau or the Church, you'll want to attack when your targets are vulnerable, and support personnel are hardly expendable. Logistics, in fact, are arguably the most vital part of a military - remember that line from Napoleon about armies and stomachs?
I know it's not canon that they are human. I was merely presuming that as one of the possibilities, to explain things. There are three possibilities:
1. They were originally human, and were turned into magical programs once absorbed by the book. 2. They are artificial constructs, but based on real people (as if I made a hologram of you) 3. They are purely artificial constructs.
In all cases, it seems very likely that any corruption can have random effects on their memories and mannerisms. Hence, why they can remember some things and not others, and why they have a basic core morality and personality still... because that is the very core to their being. You are still you, even if your memory has been messed with.
Thanks for the edit suggestions! I've incorporated most of them, and made some edits and changes to the others. As for Ginga, I'm not entirely sure what I was getting at the first time, so I've reworded her section.
I thought it was the lack of logic...
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari