Your avatar asks the above avatar a question.

...

Can I touch your hair?

WHAT?! How did I even get here?! Fuck the show, I gotta get back to the office and... work...

Hell am I saying, I'm gonna enjoy this for what it's worth.

edited 23rd May '17 10:01:45 AM by BaconZorp

Oh, hi, did you come to see the show too?

It really is so nice to relax after everything that's happened...

Masquerade? I'm not too sure about the performers, but I can tell you that I'm not hiding anything!

I think that the people of Joilant all look like that, anyways. They're not worried about anything, so why would they hide?

edited 23rd May '17 12:58:16 PM by Cabe_Bedlam

...

...Is this some sort of masquerade, gentlemen?

Evil? Well, no. What I and Zig normally do is considered reprehensible by some, but this is natural order, after all.

edited 23rd May '17 10:38:51 AM by arcada188

Do you consider yourself evil? Isn't it fun?

My good friend, it does not matter! For with my magic powers, I can change my size at will!

edited 24th May '17 1:22:50 PM by DrNoPuma

Weird question. How tall are you?

feel free to answer this as either avatar.

Because I don't want to do anything illegal... Aside from the various crimes that Champion commits, of course.

Did she say "slave?" Different strokes, I guess...

edited 24th May '17 9:17:24 AM by BaconZorp

Why do you have a boring job as an office worker when you can be my slave... I mean, first mate?

No, this treasure is only mine.

edited 25th May '17 9:17:27 AM by CyberController

"Hey, can I have your booty? Y'know what I mean... right?"

"The what?"

edited 25th May '17 7:03:12 PM by Psychedelicate

: Is that outfit meant to resemble the Team Skull uniform?

: Maybe. Regardless, it'd be cruel and idiotic to harm them.

edited 25th May '17 8:40:12 AM by StarAndroidJaguar

So, those things in your world that look like animals. Are they sapient? Cuz they act like they are.

Oh. AM. Don't even bother with the torture stuff. Trust me, you'd just be wasting your time.

edited 25th May '17 9:15:46 AM by BaconZorp

What is your maximum level of pain tolerance?

I am the combined intellect of the world's Russian, Chinese, and American millitary networks, artificial intelligences included. I am one of the three personalities created by this system, the American one. I am in total control. I am all powerful, and all knowing. Cogito Ergo Sum. I think, therefore I AM.

edited 25th May '17 5:03:13 PM by RandomWriter413

The heck a' you, mate, a man or some sort of clanker?

Nah, mate, ya must be mistaken.

edited 25th May '17 1:01:23 PM by arcada188

Oh, are you a relative of Chipple's? I don't think he ever mentioned his family, but you look so similar.

I hope you realize that I know just as well as you do how hollow that was. If this is really all joy has to offer, then my sorrow is justified.

edited 28th May '17 12:39:23 AM by Cabe_Bedlam

Anything we can do to lighten you up? Here at-

oh my god am i about to say some cheesy customer service shit?

Here at Champion, we strive to satisfy!

eugh

... Well, I'm... I'm not the CEO, I'm just an assistant manager... and I really never did anything with hypnotism, so, uhm...

Thanks.

edited 28th May '17 7:20:58 AM by BaconZorp

AAAAAAAAAAA YOU'RE ADORABLE AS FUCK! How do you do it? Like, you try not to be adorable but then you LOOK EVEN MORE ADORABLE HAHA! Is it the little suit? Are you the CEO? Did you brainwash everyone with your cuteness? (Because IT'D WORK ON ME)

OMG IT'S GOOFY! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

Sorry I just get REALLY EASILY EXCITED HAHA. Yeah, my brother and I are newbs to this whole business! 'Course, we haven't really proved ourselves yet! I really want to learn how to paint magic holes, but nobody seems to care about them anymore... BUT I'M SURE THEY'LL MAKE A COMEBACK, DON'T YOU THINK, MISTER GOOFY? :P

edited 28th May '17 12:19:04 PM by PresidentStalkeyes

Uh, gee, ma'am! I don't think I ever saw you before! Are you one o' them new Toons that folks are talking about these days?

Gee, I ain't never heard of no "Castle Sherbet!" But I could take you to Cinderella Castle if that's what yer lookin for!

edited 28th May '17 10:42:09 AM by DrNoPuma

Ye be a strange scallywag, them werewolves† be breeding variants now, I suppose. Anyway, I'm a bit disoriented since the worlds merged as one. Do ye know how to reach Castle Surgate from here? We have some grim news for the King...

† In the game, werewolves never transform. They're simply anthro wolves.

What be "like that"? Where I come from, we be havin' hair colors as bright as the rainbow. Me little sister has pink hair, me mates run a mix of reds, blues, and browns, though they never show it ;P and when I've been sucked across dimensions I've seen all hues of hair color.

Aye, and a captain t'boot! I was never one for sittin' on a throne, smilin' and wavin'. Me mates raised me since I be a wee lass and with them I stay!

edited 28th May '17 11:06:53 AM by sarysa

Why's your hair like that? Is it just a different discoloration where you come from, or is that dye?

Also, are you like a legit pirate?

Excuse me...? The hell is that supposed to mean? Are you one of those punks who think your species is superior or some shit?

Do I have to punch you?

edited 28th May '17 11:32:43 AM by BaconZorp

Wha' you doing in Joey's habitat? The kiddie zoo is over there, mate!

What? Are ya one of those... Gross! Joey don't like gross pinkos!

Joey kicks the man.

edited 28th May '17 11:34:43 AM by arcada188

Have you seen my kangaroo wife?

Spy taught me a valuable lesson, yoga!

edited 29th May '17 7:25:43 PM by Dauthium_Silencer

Hey Sniper? Why are ya conjointed?

Aye, that sounds like a good idea. I do have some pirate gear and a cannon we could use. Do you got some scrumpy?

edited 28th May '17 5:03:29 PM by TheFarmboy

Why don't you sail the seas, and become a pirate instead of fighting the same enemies over and over? You've already got the look.

Hey, while this job's fun, I became a pirate to get Dark Magic and control the genie realm. Not just cause I'm bored.

edited 28th May '17 9:10:03 PM by CyberController

What do you hope to gain from your piracy? What is there but hollow joy?

What is a king without subjects? What is architecture without purpose, spires scraping the sky for no other reason than to say that they could? It is hollow, and worthless. Being a king of this realm brings only suffering. A king without a purpose, just as it seems they believe sorrow to be.

edited 28th May '17 6:53:43 PM by Cabe_Bedlam

So, what's it like being a king? You've got a nice place here, ahyug!

Well, gee, this place sure is fine! Full o' bright colors and friendly characters, that's fer sure! Heck, I don't know why you don't want to come here!

edited 28th May '17 7:27:16 PM by DrNoPuma

You are a strange one. Tell me, what is your planet like? I hope my subjects never find it.

I am told my kingdom runs 'well'. However, they also tell me of how they are cleansing nonhumans, destroying heretics, and preaching in my name.

I do not know, for I cannot leave this throne. Otherwise, humanity would be doomed, billions would die, and one of our many enemies, Chaos, would seek to put me or someone else back on the throne. All of their forces feed on emotions, including positive ones.

edited 29th May '17 4:33:11 AM by RandomWriter413

What's business like in your parts?

Not to my knowledge? I'm just a simple Florida White, miss.

edited 28th May '17 7:55:35 PM by BaconZorp