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RESP What the hell, hero? from somewhere... solid? Since: May, 2012 Relationship Status: Californicating
What the hell, hero?
#1: Feb 22nd 2015 at 6:02:10 PM

Well, I just got into an impasse. I made a villain, a little ago. He's the only person in his story who's honestly evil and not misguided or crazy. He is a villain. But he does it to save the world. Quoting myself (My character, Skyler Harken, facing a defeated hero):

- Don't you see you're doing is wrong, Harken?! All this plans, all this attacks... what for? Revenge? Hatred? Your belief that you're better than the rest? You're not better than anyone! Why don't you see it?! You're destroying everything! You really want to destroy the world?! Does this amuse you or something? Don't you see the villainy of-?

- Seriously, a**hole, shut the f*ck up. That's your best weapon? Emotional attacks? After all what I have done you really think that could mean something to me? You, sir, are the live proof that I'm not wrong about my "belief". Revenge? I had that several years ago, no hard feelings. Hatred? I can't hate something that causes me such an amusement. My belief? I belief there's a god up there who leaves the evil roaming in the world so the priests can say "He's the devil! Don't be like him!" to his people. And THAT is why I'm better than you. You see, evil wasn't in the bible, it was added in the middle ages so "good" people could have something they can compare with, an enemy. Humans need enemies that would show what's evil. They want monsters, things that are beyond their comprehension and instill the fear in them, things that represent their innate hate and prejudice. But what they need is not any monster. The need a human, a monster they can turn into if they can't keep up, a monster that's the embodiment of their own sins, a monster they'll eventually feel... alike. They need villains. Crooks, anarchists, pirates, assassins, people with no true regrets, but that started as normal as you or me. They need a personification of the line they shall not cross. Heroes need to watch that line and assure nothing from the other side can harm the good people, as well as to keep the good people from going into that other side. But the only way to not cross a line they don't want is see it. Right now, you're facing that line, one foot in the other side, but you can't see it. The people I'm fighting and you're defending, they already crossed the line, but they can't see it. You want to protect them from that line, but they are in the other side of that line. I want them to cross the line, but to the right side. Yes, I know I'm being a villain, I would be crazy if I were denying it. But you know what? I choose it. I not only crossed the line, I brought my whole f*cking furniture with me. Because if it's not me, other person will take my place. And that person may make others to jump to his side. And THAT is what you have to avoid. Me? I'm a loner, only my sister follows me, but she's f*cking nuts. I'm the "lesser evil possible", ironically. I don't hate you nor this world, I don't keep any hard feelings against anybody here and I love the food and such. I don't want the world in the palm of my hand, it's too much problem and there are steaks that need to be eaten. What I want is the same than you: a good ending. The only difference is, you only know the third act. I know all three of them. Now if you excuse me, I lost too much time in this expository monologue and the people at their houses are waiting to turn the pages, so get f*cking lost...

Now, I thought on a kind of Post Cyber Punk world for him, but I kinda have not much of an idea of how to make it work. Let it be noted that this is a valid outfit in that reality and wouldn't be looked down, yet this is only wore for one person and that's him. So, any advices?

edited 22nd Feb '15 6:05:45 PM by RESP

HALOLA PEEPUHL!! HOWAYAAAAAAAAAA?!!
Aespai Chapter 1 (Discontinued) from Berkshire Since: Sep, 2014 Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
Chapter 1 (Discontinued)
#2: Feb 22nd 2015 at 7:02:40 PM

From what I gathered Harken loves to go on and on. I don't know anything about the hero, or what world they are even in. We get he's different, dark and gritty. What does he do, and why? What is the heros purpose, and in general...

what is the plot of the story.

Warning: This poster is known to the state of California to cause cancer. Cancer may not be available in your country.
RESP What the hell, hero? from somewhere... solid? Since: May, 2012 Relationship Status: Californicating
What the hell, hero?
#3: Feb 23rd 2015 at 9:04:49 AM

Well, let's begin with the start: Skylar is the Big Bad of his world. He has little redeeming qualities, like his endless will and his regards on freedom. He, however, feels pleasure in hurting physical or psychologically his victims, lacks empathy and has a horrible view that the rest of the humans are less than scum. Part of his traits were ingrained on him by his asshole adoptive father, who also trained him in military tactics, but most of it comes from his own self. [[spoilers: An alternate version of him, who didn't have his Start of Darkness, ended up conquering the world until Prime!Skyler kicked his ass somewhat harshly]] He loves freedom too much and he's willing to kill to defend it. Which is the reason he's the big bad. Lemme explain.

Skylar was born and immediately became a Trans Human after he got in contact with Nanotechnology in form of a special stealth paint. His single mother left him as soon as his powers began to manifest and his step father turned him into a military trained egocentric. He was indoctrinated that his actions were for the good of people and all that, but he was training him to be an assassin. You know how it goes. His training has to be cut down when the base he was training was shut down due to some financial issues.

During that year, his father began to teach him how to keep a low profile, which he wasn't liking. He began to hang out with some people who wanted their own freedom and he began to like the concept. He tried to help them, but the powers that rule the world decided to stop them in their tracks, turning the kid in a pariah in the process. All came to a low point when those powers to be arranged his "accident" by hiring a driver to run him over. He was dead in the act, just when all of them got around him. Even the cop he even relied his special abilities to turned out to be one of them.

When they left him like that, the whole thing started: Skylar, who was still conscious after being clinically dead, began to anger up, to the point his body began to react. He shouted a massive FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! and a lightning hit him from a storm happening at the other side of the country ((Lightnings like that can happen, specially if the sky is clear. The lightning recharged him, turned on the AI of the nanotech he had inside and ultimately revived him. He took half a movie on killing those who killed him, even getting into a battle with his former friends, who now believed him a monster.

He unceremoniously finished them off in matter of seconds. After taking his now current, then new outfit, he found the secret of the people who killed him and their rules and he told himself he didn't like it. He decided they were too corrupt to their own good and they needed a shot of reality, but then he realized that he was the last person one would pick to take a hero mantle, specially after the murdering of 6 innocent people he just perpetrated. He was on the look for the answer about his impasse for 5 years.

Then, he finds the secret realm of Himit Tokyo and realizes there are lots of people who can take that mantle, but the current world just won't let them. Also, they don't seem to see the same troubles he sees on the world. There is where he took the role of the big bad: He knows the word is on the wrong, but nobody will believe him nor follow him on their own volition. So, he will strike down on everybody until they all get their act together and realize what are they doing wrong. The result would be him killing the Great Ones and their leader, Princess Annamaria de Syan, after they cause a mass genocide, then being given the rule of the world by the others, like in The Chronicles Of Riddick. The story ends up with him walking to the throne sitting down and exclaiming FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! as a way of a Call-Back.

Basically, he's conscious he's just too evil to be a hero, but too lazy or mentally unable of taking charge of the world, so he will try to make the actually good guys who are doing bad deeds to realize those deeds and get their mental shutdown due to this This, unfortunately, backfires horribly, as mentioned before, so he decides to make others take over to see if they can fix it... that ends up with an unexpected result, as mentioned before. About the heroes, they all are thinking the world is fine as it is now. Skylar knows this and decides to show them how wrong the world is by forcing the fails to appear by themselves.

I... need to rethink most of it, ain't I?

edited 23rd Feb '15 9:05:36 AM by RESP

HALOLA PEEPUHL!! HOWAYAAAAAAAAAA?!!
Aespai Chapter 1 (Discontinued) from Berkshire Since: Sep, 2014 Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
Chapter 1 (Discontinued)
#4: Feb 23rd 2015 at 7:14:26 PM

Here's some general questions to help build up your story:

  • How is he stronger than the average human, and how is he weaker than the average human?
  • What scares him? What can kill him?
  • What are all the stealth paints' properties and can anyone else get them?
  • So is he the main character that should be the focus of the story, or is the hero?
  • What does he aspire to be, and what goals does he want to accomplish in the story?
  • As an assassin, what is his first kill like, and how does he deal with killing people and the possible reciprocations involved with it?
  • What happens to him at the end of the story?

Warning: This poster is known to the state of California to cause cancer. Cancer may not be available in your country.
RESP What the hell, hero? from somewhere... solid? Since: May, 2012 Relationship Status: Californicating
What the hell, hero?
#5: Feb 23rd 2015 at 8:16:36 PM

Okay, let's go in order with those:

  • Skyler's skeleton is WAY stronger than the norm, but not much his muscles, who have to carry now denser bones around. He's physically weaker, but he's very, very sturdy. His heart may be the only muscle that's not weakened. However, all his weaknesses are thrown off when he initiates the Over HAK program that turns him into the Over Sky-Hacker.
  • He's scared of being attacked by a pack of spider-bear-wasp-viper-jellyfish hybrids while naked in the desert... Yeah... He can be killed in almost the same ways a human can be killed, albeit with more intensity and except electrocution. He also can kill himself in his Over Sky-Hacker form if he over uses it, burning himself to death.
  • The stealth paint is mainly smart and, in normal conditions, it can absorb electrostatic energy, specially radio waves, and even modify and alter it's characteristics. In Skyler, all bets are off, as the organic base grants the intelligence in the paint a higher rank of possibilities, depending on the person's own control. The abilities can be get by anyone who gets the paint in them, but the paint must not be in form of metallic compound ready to use. The better form is find a batch of the original dust form, mix with water and serve (he got his when the paint was mistaken by bathing salts by a nurse and he got bathed in it.
  • He's the main, no doubts of it, and his challenge is to grab whatever hero he can and try to make him find out what's wrong. More often than not, he fails on that behalf.
  • He wants to stop the Great Ones from keep using their old rules to handle a world that doesn't need them. His methods are the problem, of course.
  • As I mentioned earlier, he has in his heart a passion for seeing people suffer and was trained, among another things, in murdering others. His first kill came in training and it may be the only one he regretted, because he knew the person he was killing was just a man whose only problem was being a lonely vagabond (his vest is from him, for example) and his father, in an attempt to test his temple, made him see this was an innocent death. He took a while to reconcile with the fact. Afterwards, he does it with conviction there is just not other way, so he's not as much attached to his killings like before and seldom thinks on the consequences.
  • He ends up causing the genocide of lots of people in the secret world of Himit Tokyo (well, the act was made by the Great Ones, but he is the cause of it), making him ditch his old plan and kill their asses off. He ends up as the new leader, much to his chagrin, due to a rule that makes who ever kills the entire council will take its place, and he did it singlehandedly. He ends up in a Mexican Standoff against a group of survivors from the Himit Tokyo massacre who want to kill him and recover the world from him, as he gets ready to fight. In the sequel story, he kicks their asses off, but relinquishes the leadership of the world to the attackers, under the promise they will do well or he'll come back and kill their asses off. He moves to Himit Tokyo's depths and begins to explore the endless landscapes because fuck the world. This "season" is a crossover, as his trips put him into other popular series that apparently are all part of the endless pocket dimension.

Satisfied?

edited 23rd Feb '15 8:18:08 PM by RESP

HALOLA PEEPUHL!! HOWAYAAAAAAAAAA?!!
Aespai Chapter 1 (Discontinued) from Berkshire Since: Sep, 2014 Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
Chapter 1 (Discontinued)
#6: Feb 24th 2015 at 2:51:19 AM

a cyberpunk world would seem to be a good fit. Not sure on the elements to put in it but the paint he gets his powers from, and influence from the Old Ones would be a good base to start with. Are the old ones human, or something else?

Warning: This poster is known to the state of California to cause cancer. Cancer may not be available in your country.
RESP What the hell, hero? from somewhere... solid? Since: May, 2012 Relationship Status: Californicating
What the hell, hero?
#7: Feb 24th 2015 at 11:46:41 AM

The GREAT Ones are all humans. They are just a kind of a sect that had been ruling the world since a long time. It's hinted that Amaterasu was banished to another dimension by them, which may mean why the world may look less shiny. That dimension managed to connect to Earth and became Himit Tokyo, the hidden realm where she can protect those whose powers stem from her (which is literally anyone with magical abilities; that is why the ancient Great Ones banished her, to keep her from fighting their rule) from any harm on the outside.

About the paint itself, its origins are even more mysterious. It's only known quality is that it'0s not magical and doesn't interacti directly with magic, only with the energy it creates.

edited 24th Feb '15 12:02:55 PM by RESP

HALOLA PEEPUHL!! HOWAYAAAAAAAAAA?!!
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