Push the button?

Robo powers and space-time continuum ruining skills?! PUSH!

You now have your dream car

BUT

It's filled with snakes

No problem! I'll just open the car, have the snakes leave and/or be wrangled out, and drive off!

You become a master of Comedic Sociopathy, and your victims have no risk of injury and/or death, but with all the humiliation that entails!

BUT

You're a Hero with Bad Publicity and have no Hero Insurance.

Not as far as I know. I have yet to read/watch the Watchmen.

edited 22nd Aug '14 9:37:54 PM by aNinjaWithAIDS

Is this a Watch Men ref? Also, no.

You will get married

BUT

To a friendly succubus

I like my women red and horny. Press!

You can convert your garbage into power for your house

but

your house permanently smells like a garbage dump.

Why would I do that?

You now hve a personal cruise ship.

BUT

It runs on true love and you have no dates.

Press, I'll just have my married friend and his wife get on it.

Your computer can be used anywhere and can get the best internet reception anywhere (even in the wilderness!)

BUT

It cannot be repaired, any damage done is final.

edited 22nd Aug '14 9:44:53 PM by ironcommando

That might be tempting if I used a laptop, but I don't think I could lug my tower around without damaging it.

You become the most charismatic person ever

BUT

No one likes you for who you actually are.

I hate having having a false, shallow image. (destroys button)

You get a BFG!

BUT

It's a Talking Weapon too, and it will not fire unless you hear all of the firearm laws, confirm your understanding of them, and are actually complying with them. It is perfectly capable of checking for all of these as well.

Nope. Those laws would mean that I'd only be able to use it as a soldier in the army, and let's say I don't have soldier training.

You get an awesome mobile phone that can do what an iPhone and/or android can do, has unlimited battery, and can surf the internet with high efficiency everywhere.

BUT

Drop it once and it's spoiled forever.

edited 23rd Aug '14 12:45:06 AM by ironcommando

Nah.

You become a wizard and have years of training

BUT

You are also cripple

Well, my natural inclination is to just assume I can remove my crippling injury with the magic I just acquired.

You finally get to meet and hang out with your personal hero/favorite celebrity

but

your meeting inadvertently ends up destroying their life and career.

No. Why hurt someone else, just to shake hands with a stranger?

Your children can have the best education, training, have any medical conditions corrected (including anything not currently curable, such as dyslexia), basically trusted to become great people.

BUT

You can never see them again.

Pushed! They deserve their freedom, and with that wish, I can certainly trust them to lead happy and fulfilling lives; I wouldn't be worried about them at all. Plus, there's phones and email so I wouldn't be technically seeing them.

You are immune to all diseases!

BUT

You age 3 times faster to compensate.

edited 25th Aug '14 2:12:24 AM by aNinjaWithAIDS

Well, I did want to die old.

You become a Power ranger from the old "Mighty Morphin" series

BUT

You are Rita's husband/wife

Eh... There's no way I'm living with that annoying voice.

You are given the keys to the car of your dreams

but

you must find the car.

It'll get carjacked by the time I find it.

You get a free Sub sandwich and chips

BUT

Nothing else happens.

Push, since the bad thing doesn't really happen.

Everything you buy is free and in good quality.

BUT

All your bills will be 3x expensive from now on.

All that money I saved not buying crap will help me out with that.

You are living in Utopia

BUT

You must know how to run a government

No. Governments always falls into the trap of power corrupts, and I don't like working with laws in general.

You get a free one-year pass for a shooting gallery. Any weapons and ammo you use are on the house during each visit.

IF

You volunteer and survive the owner's One Shot One Kill challenge: You are a target about a kilometer away from the shooter in an outdoor range. The weapon to be fired at you is the infamous .50 cal Barrett Sniper Rifle. He gets one shot and you must remain still until the round makes impact. You win if he misses. If he doesn't, well...

edited 31st Aug '14 11:20:19 PM by aNinjaWithAIDS

I'm a bad shot and I don't think I'll be using a shooting gallery anyway, so I'd pass.

All the food you can get is free, and you can eat an unlimited amount of it w/o getting bloated. Also, you don't get fat or cholesterol from eating any hi-cal food.

BUT

Any gastrointestinal diseases you get from eating food will be fatal and incurable.

edited 1st Sep '14 1:57:40 AM by ironcommando

No way, last thing I want is to weigh free food over death. Pass.

You can travel anywhen in time

but

you must become your own grandfather/grandmother.

No thanks.

You get superpowers of your choice.

BUT

They affect your mind in a way that causes you to destroy any reputation you gain as a hero/villain.

Yes.

You get every wish before this one granted without the downside...

BUT

10 Random humans you almost certainly don't know die.

Push. One of the previous wishes was superpowers of my choice, I get the power to resurrect others, then resurrect those 10 who died. And I still have the other benefits.

You get every single useful superpower in existence, without any of them harming you.

BUT

You will never know how to use any of them properly.

edited 2nd Sep '14 4:07:49 AM by ironcommando

Push. Even if I never learn how to use the active ones, "every useful superpower in existence" includes a large number of passive/always-on powers, which I wouldn't need to know how to use.

You become able to perfectly understand any language you read or hear.

BUT

You become unable to do math without some form of aid (e.g. a calculator).