The Damsel IS the Dragon

In my mental outline for a new short story I have started writing, I have a wandering knight who has a nasty run-in with a dragon who has been terrorizing the countryside. Once he escapes the dragon and visits a local village to recuperate, the people tell him that the dragon is none other than the village headman's beautiful daughter who fell victim to a sorceress's spell. What the knight has to do is get the sorceress to change the dragon back into a woman, but this requires him to cross the dragon's territory again without getting into a fight with her.

Once the knight finds the sorceress, she tells him that the only way her spell can be broken is if the knight sacrifices for the greater good. As the knight returns to the village pondering her cryptic words, he finds the dragon attacking the locals. He finds he has no choice but to slay the monster and save the people. Once he wins the climactic battle and kills the dragon, she comes back to life as the beautiful woman she once was, and they pair up and live happily ever after. The reason for this is that by choosing to slay the dragon, our hero sacrificed his own sexual desires for the townspeople's safety.

I really like the concept of merging the dragon and female love interest into one character, but I would like some feedback as to whether I have a solid plot here. Do you like the twist I've plotted out?

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Yes, that is a good story. :)

Princess Aurora is underrated, pass it on.

Yeah, nice twist. Also readers may think that the "sacrifice" he must make is his own life and will be - pleasantly, I suspect, as sacrificing your life for the greater good has been done a lot - surprised that it's something else entirely.

edited 25th Aug '13 10:22:53 PM by Wolf1066

I think it's a little cliche that they pair up at the end. After all, he had no idea that the dragon/maiden would be spared, and he killed her believing that she would die for good. For her to come back just so that he can get the girl seems not only a little predictable and overdone, but it cheapens the "sacrifice" of his desires.

Further more, he should want to save the maiden because it's the right thing to do, not just because it might get him laid. To have him immediately lust after the object of his rescue has some seriously twisted undertones. It will turn people off the character, and make him come across as sexist and dishonorable.

If you want to go with the "sexual desires" angle, it would work better if the maiden and knight knew each other before the curse. It would work best if they had the chance to fall in love with each other before, or at least developed some affection for her. That would make the sacrifice more meaningful, as instead of sacrificing his chance of getting laid, he'd be sacrificing his love and his hope of a happy ending together with her so that the village would survive, and make it a little less creepy.

I like the basic idea, I think it's clever and neat, but I agree with Lockedbox that the sexual desires focus seems a bit creepy. Also, you would have to explain why she would want to hook up with the guy who thought he was killing her.

I see your point, but it's still important to me that my hero end up with a sexy girlfriend at the end. I like it when the guy gets the girl after all.

Though come to think of it, this particular hero might pair up better with a woman who shares his warrior's spirit rather than a damsel whose main significance is being the wealthy headman's daughter...

EDIT:

I don't know if I agree with this. I see nothing wrong with physical attraction towards a woman on first sight.

I want to add that this story is about a white guy traveling through his world's version of West Africa, so for me the Unfortunate Implications would come in if he doesn't come out of the ordeal with the beautiful African maiden on his arm.

edited 26th Aug '13 3:47:53 AM by Jabrosky

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But he hasn't seen her, or even heard of her. He saw a veracious, marauding dragon which presumably attempted to kill him on first sight. Was he attracted to the dragon? If not, then I must assume that he was attracted to the woman based on what other people had told him, without the two ever laying eye on each other. It's great for the guy to get the girl and live happily ever after, but a modern tale needs to build up a genuine romance between the rescuer and rescuee in order to appeal.

I understand your point. It would be an unrealistic romance that modern people wouldn't find appealing.

Please give me some time to rethink my plot. I've already written the first scene of my story, but all that happens in it is that the knight meets the dragon without having reached the village first.

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All right, I've modified the dragon princess's back-story and the conditions that can break her spell.

The dragon used to be a beautiful princess named Omolara, but when her father the King boasted of her beauty, the love goddess Oshun turned her into a dragon to punish him for his hubris. However, this spell can be broken on the condition that a man kisses her without any selfish reasons (i.e. he can't want to marry the princess after she changes back). In the end my knightly hero ends up kissing the dragon just as she is about to endanger someone's life.

To be honest I'm starting to fall out of love with this whole concept though. I don't know if anyone could fall in love with someone who used to be a destructive predator.

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"used to be" is kind of the key word there, isn't it?

Read my stories!

Well, technically her personality and intelligence changed along with her form, so good point. She is a totally different being from the dragon once she changes back.

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And most likely a total basket case.

People have become unhinged due to fighting in wars that they were indoctrinated to believe were "just".

What must it be like for a person who had been forced to be a ravening monster, killing innocent people in an horrific fashion and then eating them?

"PTSD" would be a mild way of putting it.

"Completely Mind-Fucked and Barking Mad" would be closer to the mark but still too mild.

She'd be seriously and permanently damaged by the experience and would be the one you'd point to when you tell princesses who were "merely" imprisoned in a tower and/or forced to live with a hideous beast to "harden the fuck up, count yourself lucky and fer chrissake stop yer snivelling."

That assumes she even remembers the whole ordeal. Maybe she could experience a form of amnesia that blanks out all memory of her being a dragon?

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That would be a cop out. Besides, the fact that she is literally punished for the sins of her father makes the entire premise seriously messed up. Why not give her an arc of her own? Perhaps she was a warrior, or at the very least an intelligent noble woman capable of standing on her own two feet. Instead of being punished for her fathers crimes, punish her for her own crimes, maybe she was cruel and used her social and economic power vindictively. Perhaps she stole or blasphemed in some holy place, and for what ever reason she was changed into a terrible beast in punishment, and can only be returned to her form when she learns a lesson of some kind.

She can keep her mind and still be a danger to the country side, she could steal food and livestock from local farms to feed herself, over tax the local game and frighten away vital trade due to her presence between the smaller villagers and the larger trading hubs. Don't forget about good old fashioned panic either, the people will be scared, and may blame all manner of accidents, disappearances and unfortunate events on the dragon, and be justified in doing so.

And cue the knight, he wants to help the villagers, but it quickly becomes apparent that this is no ordinary dragon. Perhaps there is a stipulation in her enchantment where she can be returned to her true form beneath the light of the full moon, or what have you, and she tries desperately to frighten off the knight, only to end up falling in love with him, learning her lesson or saving the day in some way, redeeming herself and breaking the curse, while the knight learns important lessons about humility and how not to judge too quickly or what have you.

The premise you have is a good one, you just need to hammer out your characters until you find something that works. The ideas I rattled off are just a few f countless others, just think of the possibilities. I just think it's very important that both the protagonists be active in the plot, both acting against each other or with each other to drive the story forward, and that all actions have realistic effects, ie, the dragon is going to need to eat a lot, which inadvertently causes a food shortage, and when she realizes that she is going to be repentant or upset, and act accordingly.

You don't need to adhere to the "strong-independant-woman" tropes if you don't want to, but I think your story will be much stronger if the woman is more than just a love interest, and that her story arc reaches beyond simply finding true love or what not. Fill her out, think about what her goals were before she was cursed, and how that's changed over time, and how she's changed and grown as a person. Remember, there is a life after "happily ever after" and not all of them need to involve her new man.