Help me write- SOMETHING!:
edited 12th Feb '13 9:51:52 PM by Sijo
edited 13th Feb '13 5:35:00 AM by Sijo
edited 23rd Feb '13 6:13:55 PM by Matues
edited 13th Feb '13 11:38:21 AM by Sijo
edited 13th Feb '13 3:41:04 PM by BiggerBen
- An awkward failed high-five or similar hand-based gesture.
- The invention of a working flying machine.
- Polyandrous polygamy.
edited 14th Feb '13 7:21:14 PM by Sijo
- A man-eating plant with wings.
- A large collection of bombs exploding
edited 14th Feb '13 2:37:05 PM by BiggerBen
edited 15th Feb '13 9:38:00 PM by Sijo
The next day: "Laaand ahoy!" shouted the pirate on the crow's nest. Bullet came up out of her ship, to find Benedict and Cornudo already waiting for her. "We must be careful" the dragon said. "We are in Stephanie's lands now. If we are spotted, her armies will take us down." "So, what is the plan?" Cornudo asked. "Easy enough" Bullet said, in her usual optimism. "We'll fly up there to the Flying Circus in the machine, present ourselves as a roving act looking fer a place to show our talents. Surely, they'll take us in! Then when they be performing during the royal wedding, we'll rescue Sir Alphonse!" "...That actually sounds like it would work" the dragon admitted. "Of course it will!" Bullet retorted. "Now, get yer butts into the Ornithopter, so we can go put me plan into action already!" Moments later, all three of them were airborne. As they climbed up into the air, they passed right through the clouds. Coming out of a particularly thick one, they spotted something ahead- something that looked like- a flying plant? "What in tarnation be that??" Bullet exclaimed. "Oh my! Cornudo said, "I suspect it may a rare flying specimen of Anthropophagus Mandragora!" "Say what?" "...A man-eating plant." Suddenly, the flying mass of leaves and vines sprouted long tendrils and opened a huge mouth, lunging towards out heroes! "Egads! Evade it!!" Bullet screamed. "I'm trying! This thing wasn't made for complex maneuvering, you know!" Cornudo responded. The flying plant managed to grab onto the ornithopter, but Benedict severed the tendrils with his fiery breath. However, the mass was too big and too green to catch fire. Suddenly, Cornudo took the flying machine into a dive. "What be ye doing??" Bullet angrily asked. "Mandragoras are territorial" Cornudo explained. "It should stop following us if we get out of its airspace." And indeed, once they had flown back down below the cloud level, the plant stopped and flew back to where it had been. "Curses!" Benedict roared. "How are we supposed to get past that?" "I'll be fish bait 'efore I let some overgrown potted plant stop me from obtaining me booty! Let's go back to me ship- I got just the right thing fer it!" -a short while later- Once again, the ornithopter flew above the clouds. And once again, the flying plant monster lunged at it. This time, however, the machine flew right above it, apparently leaving itself exposed to attack! The green thing reached at it with its tendrils, but before it could entangle it again, Bullet's voice could be heard screaming, "NOW!!" -and several round, metallic objects started falling from the machine, released by Benedict. The Mandragora just swallowed them as if they were just another bird flock, but before its jaws closed, a last one- this one with a lit fuse- also got in. "NOW PROFESSOR! DIVE!!" Bullet shouted. The ornithopter dove below the clouds again- and just in time, as a series of explosions tore the vegetable monster apart! BOBOBOBOOOOM!!! Below the clouds, the machine's crew smiled as they saw its smoking fragments rain down around them. As soon as the 'rain' stopped, they began to climb again, back up above the clouds...
- A wizard with Silly
mancy, err... Sillyurgy, the "power" to use "silly" spells, as for example giving life to people's underwear. Because nobody would expect someone to seriously have that power, nor successfully use it.
- A sickness that slowly turn a person into a statue. Said statue, however is not a statue: it's actually a city of a miniature civilization, which, in turn, turns the person into a giant city "carved" into a "mountain" (that means, they have no idea what they are doing, even though they are sentient)
- A cattle of miniature sheep with golden wool. Said wool isn't really made of gold, because gold isn't a good protective material. It is at least as resistant as copper, but softer and lighter than wool. The wool is more or less magical, and you can see thunderbolts are attracted to the sheeps, with no negatives consequences to them whatsoever.
"I have no reason to live!"
"There has to be! If not, go make one!"
edited 17th Feb '13 3:48:22 PM by Sijo
edited 17th Feb '13 10:04:56 PM by Specialist290
Meanwhile, way above the clouds, the crew of the ornithopter finally spotted a large circular platform, moored to the top of a mountain; above it, several tents could be seen. "That be the Flying Circus, I'll bet!" Bullet said. "How does it stay up in the air like that?" Benedict asked. "Magic, most likely" Cornudo snorted. "How unscientific." Cornudo piloted his flying machine to land right on an open area at the center of the circus. The staff scurried around in fear at the sight of the odd, noisy machine, especially when they noticed it had a dragon dangling under it. But after it landed, they came back, more curious than scared. "Well, I'll be. What the heck is that thing??" one of two identical obese, bearded men said. "And who are you people?" the other one asked. "The world's first true flying machine" Cornudo explained. "And we are, uh..." "Magnolia the Magnificent's Traveling Performing Crew!" Bullet said, all cheers. "I be Magnolia, in case ye can't tell!" (wink)"We heard 'bout this circus of yers and decided to give ye the privilege of adding our acts to yers! For a good pay, o'course!" "Well, well, spunky, isn't she?" the first man said. "I'm Frank, and this is my brother, Oz. We're the Skyward Brothers, owners of the Flying Circus." "We only accept the best acts" Oz interrupted. "So, besides this admittedly interesting contraption, what else you got?" "What else? How 'bout the world's only talking dragon?" "My name is Benedict. A pleasure to meet you" he said to the Skywards. "Hmm, talking dragons aren't THAT unique, but, yeah, I'll accept it" Oz said. "How about you, do you do anything?" "Do ye have anyone who shoots 'erself out of a cannon?" "Umm, no." "Well, now ye do!" and she laughed. Frank laughed as well. "OK, I think you're hired. Come over to my office so we can discuss the details." "My pleasure!" 'Magnolia' said, and followed them into a tent. Her two companions stayed by the ornithopter. Slowly, the other circus folk came closer to them. One was a young man dressed in a raggedy cloak. "Umm, Mister Dragon, sir, if I may speak to you..." "You may" Benedict said, reassuringly. "I'm Bob the Sillyurge, and I was asked to-" "Pardon, but, the what?" the dragon interrupted. Bob sighed. "Sillyurge. It's not a real magic term, it's something my bosses came up for my act, since I'm basically, well, a magical clown" he said with a sad tone. It sounded like he did not enjoy the appellation. "You see, I specialize in Chaos Magic. But, most people don't get what that is about. They think it's all about causing random things to happen. And, well, it is, except a powerful chaos magician can bend the chaos to his will, and make it do what he wants" he explained. "...I'm far from good at it right now, though, so, you never know what's going to happen when I cast a spell. Most of the time it's fairly simple, harmless things, because I'm still so weak. The result are often- silly." "I see" the dragon said, thoughtfully. "That is actually very interesting. I'm sure that with enough training, you will be able to do much better conjurations." "You think so?" Bob reacted, cheered up. Then he remembered, "Oh right, I had something to tell you. The shepherd of our golden sheep flock asked me to beg of you, not to eat them, please." "Golden sheep?" the dragon said, lifting an eyebrow. Now that he thought of it, there was the smell of sheep in the air. He looked around, and spotted the flock, at the feet of an old shepherd. But they were tiny sheep, the size of lap dogs. Their wool however shone like gold in the sunlight. "Ah, I see" Benedict exclaimed. "It is Okay, I will not devour them"(though he secretly admitted, they looked delicious.) "Is their wool actually made of gold?" "Oh no. We would have sheared it off by now if it were!" Bob assured him. "It's more like copper, in fact. It does some amazing things, especially during thunderstorms." Meanwhile, Cornudo had wandered out on his own, looking at all the exhibits in the carnival. One in particular interested him: a statue of a middle-aged woman. Very well carved, almost lifelike. He couldn't help but reach out to touch it, to feel its makings by hand. But just as he was about to, it suddenly moved out of the way! "Hhhheeey!" it said. "It's alive!!" Cornudo gasped. "Yyyess. III'm nnot a ssstatuuue. Mmmy nnname isss Roca." It was then that Cornudo noticed that the 'statue' had been standing next to an exhibit labeled "Roca, the amazing Petrified Woman!" "Oh my" he old scientist said, still amazed. "How did this happen to you? Were you born this way?" "Nnnno. Iiiit sstarted aaa few yyyyears ago. Iiiit's a ssssicknnness off ssome kkkkkind. III hhave nno idddea werrre I ccccaught it." "Ohh" Cornudo said, both sorry for the woman yet intrigued by the situation. "Could I take a closer look at you? I might be able to help, I'm a scientist." At first, Roca seemed doubtful, but then nodded; really, she had nothing to lose. From somewhere in his messy outfit, Cornudo produced a combination of lenses of his own invention, that could be rearranged to be used as a telescope or, in this case, a microscope. He used it to look at the skin in Roca's arms. After several minutes, he suddenly gasped. "Newton's Apple!! This- THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!!" Roca just stared at him. "There's- people! Tiny- no, microscopic people- living on your body!!!" She stared at him like he was mad. "Look by yourself!"the scientist insisted, and lent her the glasess. With some difficulty -and very slowly- the living statue was able to do so. And what she saw amazed her. There were indeed human-like beings, tinier than ants, scurring around the folds of her skin. They seemed to be picking at it, building roads and caves, as if her body was a mountain they were bent on inhabiting. "Aaarre thhhey-" "Responsible for your transformation?" Cornudo finished for her. "I'm not sure yet, but it seems likely." "Gggget ttthem oooff me!! "I'll work on it!" he said enthusiastically.
"I have no reason to live!"
"There has to be! If not, go make one!"
- A cake with dynamite instead of candles
- A volcano metaphor/simle
edited 19th Feb '13 7:18:51 PM by Sijo