Trying to avoid a 'Fix your man' situation

Two characters in the book I'm writing are a male and female character whith a close friendship.

• The guy was a soldier for a while and because of some things he went through, developed PTSD, which affects him through out the entire story. At the point where he is intorduced in the story, he is an over all nice guy, albeit a little eccentric
• The girl is an ambitious person with a occasionally spit fire personality. She has some trust issues due to some family problems. She meets the guy shortly (a few months-2 years at most) after and persuades him to teach her how to fight so she can help fight against the Evil Empire.
• I am intending these characters to be in an entirely platonic relationship (although there may be some hints of [1] ) but I want to avoid the sexist cliche of "Woman meets man with issuses, she cares for and loves man and because of her magical, pretty lady powers he gets better. Here's some background information"
  • Although he does have some mental issuses, he is never abusive towards her (although one or twice he worried about injuring her while they were training, due to the fact he could get sudden flashbacks)
  • Once he befriends her, it doesn't magically make his PTSD go away. She managaes to be one of the first people he can actually trust again, which helps him considerably, although it takes him years to get at the relatively stable point he is at during the novel.
  • It is a give an take relationship. He teaches her how to fight and they both provide each other with a person they can confide in
  • They both are hardworking, and are quite capable of kicking ass. In the one situation when the girl needs to be 'rescued' she ends up unintentionally helping out when she unexpectedly breaks out of her cell and helps the guy by fighting alongside him.

I still worry this may have hints of Never a Self-Made Woman. Any thoughts or tips?

edited 3rd Dec '12 5:24:20 PM by TheMuse

It's gonna take time. In psychology there is no "quick fix".

When I went for combat lifesaver training, there was a room with SFX to simulate live fire. Screams, explosions, smoke, Fort Bliss spent a pretty penny making this happen. One soldier couldn't go in there. He was a staff sergeant with a few tours of Iraq under his belt. I didn't know he has PTSD until he told the staff that he had to sit this out.

There was a dude in our small town who was an EMT, same issue. TWO years he has to sit out with "burnout" and PTSD. His friends got promotions, some moved on. After two years he got back in the saddle and was going out on calls.

TL;DR - have the girl draw him out. Not be a bitch, but since she's a MPDG, she sees things differently. For one she TALKS to him ONE on ONE, she doesn't treat him like he's made of glass. She might even be willing to let him scream and vent (or cry on her shoulder) and tell him "I won't tell a soul, it's okay."

She learns how to fight. Think about Neo and Morpheus' fight in the first Matrix, or Yoda with Luke Skywalker. It was about being a mentor. Sure, she's gonna get sore and bruised, but he teachers her. She LISTENS and LEARNS.

They are guides for each other, a give and take, not the pat TV "She's special so she fixes him, he's a soldier so after 20 mins. she knows how to fight".

The guy isn't just a 'fighting mentor' and he helps her deal with her emotional problems as well. I hope this can counteract the hints of Manic Pixie Dream Girl -ness and be able to portray them more as two people who grow together by helping each other instead of a SUPER COOL TROUBLED MENTOR teaches SUPER SPECIAL SPITFIRE LITTLE LADY situation. (If that's what you mean by the above, yeah, I'm trying to do that) And obviously I am trying to portray PTSD as realistically and sensitively as possible.

edited 3rd Dec '12 7:12:31 PM by TheMuse

Also, a lot of this character development happens before the novel begins. I'm planning on a couple flashbacks, but most of it focuses on their present relationship. Any tips on showing this without having to devote excessive amounts of time to it?

PTSD is not about trust or acting like a jerk. Even though paranoia and intense irritability is a pretty common side-effect, it doesn't have to be.

It's about fear, like a phobia with a specific trigger. You can trust all the people you want. The point is how the sufferer handles a situation similar to the one which is the main factor. If someone is scared of drowning, they can trust the lifeguard and their family up until the point they get into some water. They can resume trusting people and being coherent once they're out of the water.

You are also rather inconsistent with the soldier's personality. He is an all-around nice guy... who doesn't trust anyone? Have him trust people. Have him act like a normal person until he gets triggered.

For something a little more nuanced, I would recommend that the student didn't know he has PTSD at all until something significant happens. Since he doesn't appear to act like the extreme cases generally showcased in fiction, it would easily fly under her radar. Also, I would recommend the student being unsettled or confused once her mentor encounters a situation which triggers it, then have him or someone else explain it to her once the situation is over.

What I'm trying to say is that the characters already have an established relationship at the beginning of the book and she is aware of his issuses. The whole 'severe trust issuses and other severe problems' is limited mainly to a point before the novel begins (obviously there will be a few flashbacks to this period of time) At the point of the 'present' is the book he is a nice guy and relatively trusts people unless he gets hits to prove otherwise, as well as occassionally getting paranoid about things. It is also very rare for him to talk about his time in the army and he sometimes has panic attacks due to triggers. The whole reason why he trusted the girl back when they met was because she had essentially been wandering aimlessly through the woods for a few days, hadn't eaten actual food for a few day, and was unarmed.

edited 6th Dec '12 5:40:32 AM by TheMuse

He doesn't need to have severe trust issues at the beginning of their relationship, either. The point is whether or not he has to avoid situations, not people.

Since you start out later and the development essentially happens offscreen with a few glimpses, it would be more believable for a nice guy to become unable to function in certain situations, then go back to being a nice guy when whatever is distressing him has passed.

Having a guy start out untrusting and learn to trust after meeting a girl is pretty common, but unlikely. The odds of you executing it well are even lower since you don't actually show the development in the main plot.