It looks pretty inoffensive to me. I don't think you have anything to worry about.
As someone who also had , and still has some problems with religion of fantasy world, few sugestions. First one symbol, most religions, that trace it's begining , to the ancient times, do not use symbols just because it represent something symbols where not chosen, christians didn't choose cross because it look nifty, Give some orgin to the symbol throught the prophet, or messiah type of religion if this religion has one, basicly think about orgins of relgion and few basic premises and than build church and dogma around it. Second thing, are thouse gods really, that is , there is undeniable proof that this gods in fact exist and are not just cons, and imagination of simply folks, if so what are relationship between elf gods and main relgion, and what is relationship between main religion god and elves religion. third, thing is just small sugestion, You had a great idea to make diffrent religion for magic creatures, and in form of diffrent sects, so the only thing that I can say is that you should do the same what is relation between diffretn sects and diffrent religions, not in the sense, that church A hates church B , but in that sense if both sects have something true in their doctrin , do this makes sense overall, so to not have situacion where both sects are right and one sect says that magic is all bad and you need to kill kitten to cast a spell, while other religion says that you need to be nice to the cat to cast a spell,
The way I was going to write it is that one would never know EXPLICITLY which religion is the 'true religion.' (I apologize, but it is somewhat difficult to read what you are trying to say)
I know, and Yeah sorry for my writting I speak very badly in english, what I was meant to say is that magic for example usually follow some rules, in relgion based on magic, this rule will be part of doctrin , now depending on religion cause for this rule will be diffrent, what I was meant to say is to not have opposing rules that are both true, for diffrent groups. Also about the first thing, I was meaning what is interpretation, of religion have on gods of other religion, do they see them as something that dousn't exist, do they see them as demons, ? this things, if one religion is older and seen the rise of other religion , there need to be some interpretation of this.
One general principle to keep in mind: Most religions attempt to answer such questions as "Where did the world come from?", "How do I as an individual fit into the bigger picture?", "What happens to me when I die?", and "How does all this affect the way I ought to live?" (which is the most important one, though you have to answer the others first to get the info for this one). I'd definitely advise you to spend some time working these things out, starting at the general level and working your way to specifics; even if it never shows up in your story directly, it can serve as a guide to tell you how a character who believes those things might act (even if they sometimes honor the rules more in the breach; after all, not everyone's perfect, and even if they act in a way they or their society considers "wrong," they'll still try to rationalize it according to some set of principles).
edited 4th Nov '12 12:57:25 PM by Specialist290
So I'm writing this quasi-Medival European style fantasy, and I used some actual religions to create some of the fictional religions. I just want to ensure the appropriation used is not offensive