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Hero Critique Thread (Because it's about damn time for this too!):
Because the Wall of Text
I wrote in my last post seemed daunting I moved the review I did of the So Beautiful, It's a Curse
discussion to that thread. Hopefully that as well as my thoughts on the other characters I gave will be of help.
I thought the Dead Island
trailer was sad. Then I saw Encyclopedia Dramatica.
- Age: 20
- Personality: Edwin puts high value on logic and reason and also happens to be a somewhat cynical person. He doesn’t like having to deal with people who are uneducated or people who are overly emotional. Although he enjoys traveling to different places and exploring the different cultural norms and such of the area, in general, he doesn’t like socializing with large groups of people.
He shares much distaste for people who prefer to solve problems with physical strength than cleverness. He is capable of being very judgemental; if his initial impression of a person isn’t good, he usually will not like them in the slightest. He occasionally proves himself wrong and will eventually come around to the person.
He only has a few close friends and a couple acquaintances he speaks with occasionally. He doesn’t let himself get close to people. There’s a war going on, he’s terrified of losing his loved ones. He would never tell anyone this, he might not even been entirely conscious of it himself.
He is rarely physically affectionate, and he usually shows his care for people by simply speaking with them or spending time with them.
- Abilities: He is a mage with a good control of his magical abilities and had been well educated from a young age. He is also quite fluent in a second language due to his father being an immigrant.
- Weaknesses: As previously mentioned, he can be judgemental, which occasionally hurts/hinders his potential relationships with people. He also can have trouble empathizing with people when they have relationship issues.
- Goals: To help his people to defeat the Evil Empire. And to gain more knowledge. (minor)
- Motivation: Wants to ensure that his loved ones will be safe.
- Role in the story: One of the main characters, he’s essentially The Smart Guy and the residential Deadpan Snarker. He also serves as Foil to a couple characters, his enthusiastic Keet-ish cousin/friend, the story’s cruel and calculating Evil Genius, and a optimistic Absent-Minded Professor he eventually befriends.
- Backstory: His father and uncle were forced to flee their home when soldiers from the Evil Empire ransacked their town. After re establishing himself, his father married his mother and later, Edwin was born. He was a quiet child who prefered to keep to himself. He lived a relatively uneventful life until his village was attacked (He was about 12-ish(, which led to his parents being killed in front of him. He was taken in by his uncle and aunt and was raised alongside his (previously mentioned) cousin and their adopted daughter, who he lives with to this day.
- Relevant Tropes:
- Asexuality: Happens to be an aromantic-asexual. It isn’t really brought up much, due to the fact that he doesn’t mention it, put a label on it (because he wasn’t raised knowing that it is actually an orientation) and a majority of the characters in this setting probably wouldn’t know what it is.
- A Man Is Always Eager: Averted.
- A Man Is Not a Virgin: Downplayed. His free spirited, eros-loving cousin is often confused by his lack of sex drive. He eventually comes to accept Ed’s sexuality and stops trying to hook him up with other characters.
- Chaste Hero: Mostly due to the tropes above.
- Conveniently an Orphan: Deconstructed. His aunt and uncle are still parental figures he cares much for. The death of his parents led to him developing serious attachment issues.
- Dead Little Sister: Watching his parents get murdered in front of him gives him some mental scarring that takes much of the story for him to get over.
- Deadpan Snarker: Played straight in the beginning, but as the story goes on, it is Deconstructed somewhat in a manner resembling Stepford Snarker.
- Happily Adopted: His aunt and uncle are decent people who raised him well, even though they sometimes think he’s quite eccentric.
- Hollywood Atheist: Averted. He happens to be an agnostic-atheist, but doesn’t really talk about it. He lacked belief even before his parent’s death.
- Insufferable Genius: He can be extremely rude to people he doesn’t like, but is usually very patient towards his friends.
- Squishy Wizard: If you took away his magic powers and quick thinking, you’d quickly be able to kick his ass in a fight
- Straw Nihlist: A subdued case. The combination of his lack of belief in an afterlife, his parent’s death and the fact there’s a war going on that is perfectly capable of killing the few loved ones he has often makes him think “What’s the point?”
edited 23rd Feb '13 5:41:23 PM by TheMuse
Man, I hate youthful heroes (don't worry, nothing on you, just a Pet Peeve Trope
As for your character, hm. He strikes me as a Sherlock Holmes Expy
in some senses. Not saying he is, just wondering if you took inspiration on him or not.
I enjoyed how much he values knowledge and wit, this is always a excellent trait in both heroes and villains (in my opinion). It should be interesting to see how he will win everything while avoiding battle (which should be a biblically impossible task, since he's on a War. Which makes it even better). I enjoy his more "few friends" personality, as well.
I do think he may need a few extra flaws for my tastes (don't know, maybe he sometimes forgets people's feelings or something?), but I am very fond of very flawed heroes, so this may be taken with a grain of salt.
Speaking of flawed heroes, here's my favorite heroic character on all the stories I've created:
: Fausto Cross.
: Somewhere between 38 and 58
: Cross is absolutely unshakeable, barely glancing at even the most fearsome of foes, or at his most horrible wounds.
Always grim and serious, he never loses sight of his goal. He isn't a very good peoples person, and can't maintain a normal conversation for much time (hunting demons for your entire life will do that to you), as such, he doesn't care that much for people besides saving them. He's the kind of person who'd much rather spend his time forging a sword in a dark room than talking to people. It doesn't help he is always
with a frown.
He is as smart as he is strong, being a rather clever detective, and can predict people's reactions with ease.
Unfortunately, he also has the problem of being lacking empathy towards humanity in general. Don't expect him to shed any tears over the man who was gutted by a demon or the untold thousands slaughtered in some battlefield. He is also a very brutal man in his methods (Cold-Blooded Torture
is a favorite), merciless and lacks a Samaritan Syndrome
(meaning if a villain does the classic "Stop or I kill this man", he won't listen)
: Despite being clever and smart, he is still human: His foes are often seven foot tall behemoths who can break walls with a punch, and some others have been outmaneuvering people since before the dawn of time. As such, he is really outgunned here.
Also, while he is intelligent, he isn't even close to The Chessmaster
levels. His enemies, however...
: To quote the man himself: "My duty is to serve as mankind's blight upon those who break the divine rules, and under my watch, no angel, demon, or spirit ever crossed the line and survived."
: Altruism triggered by Dead Little Sister
Role in the story
: The protagonist.
: Mostly Shrouded in Myth
, but we solidly know he once had a brother
, and that he used to be a humble, but strong and intellectual Priest. His brother's death made him go from "Priest" to "Demon Slayer".
Wheh, that took a while. Hope you all enjoy.
@Gaon Pretty good but he seems kind of generic for a Gothic horror hero; almost like a Van Helsing knock-off. I think the big problem is he seems a little too powerful. In the trope section, you described him as being seven shades of badass and scarier than Batman. I feel like between his badass-ness, his mysterious (yet generic) backstory, his sociopathy and his larger-than-life reputation, most readers probably won't be able to relate to him or find him very engaging. His comically serious-ness and bad social skills may make-up for this but I would suggest not making him the protagonist; maybe making him the hero while a different character acts as the viewpoint character.
I also think the name "Fausto Cross" might be too on-the-nose. Unless, it's suppose to be a pulp-y story, then it might work.
Ok, so my guy here is suppose to be for a fantasy adventure story. The idea is to make a lawful good character who isn't a boyscout or saint...
Name: Adrian Chifley
Personality: Uptight and full of himself. He is talkative with an explosive temper despite his best efforts to keep a cool, calculating persona. He's also very anal, like obsessed with rules, plans and procedures. And he's sort of prissy in a "stuffy, tea-sipping British gentleman" kind of way.
Abilities: Pretty smart, well-educated, cultured and has almost unlimited resources. He also has a handful of very loyal underlings who are far more capable than he is.
Weaknesses: He's not nearly as smart or as charismatic as he thinks he is. Pride is his big vice. He's also kind of a push-over in a fight though he rarely gets into physical fights.
Goals: His ultimate goal is to make a name for himself. He wants to be admired, respected and maybe even feared. And he's a borderline fascist who wants to spread his nations culture and influence to less developed "barbaric" countries.
Motivation: He's basically living in the shadow of his father, uncle and basically every other member of his family.
Role in the story: He hires the protagonist to help him on various escapades. You could say that he's something of a foil since he's character is opposite of the unambitious, gruff barbarian protagonist.
Backstory: His father is the president of a megacorp and his uncle is the president of a country. In fact, just about every member of his family have been powerful and influential leaders. Adrien, wanting to be just as powerful and influential, left the aristocracy and attempted to become a warlord (and later the leader of a mercenary guild).
- Anti-Hero: Type III to Type IV
- Badass Longcoat: Averted, he's the only one who thinks his trench coat is awesome.
- Character Alignment: Lawful Good
- -Good Is Not Nice
- The Dandy
- Deadpan Snarker
- Extroverted Nerd
- Gentleman Adventurer: To some extent
- Inferiority Superiority Complex
- It's All About Me
- Magnificent Bastard: He really, really wants to be one
- Nice Hat: Averted with his fedora, see Badass Longcoat
- Politically Incorrect Hero
- Rich Idiot with No Day Job
- Small Name, Big Ego
- Upper-Class Twit
So, any suggestions on how I can make him more of "Lawful Good but not a saint" type character?
Insert witty title here
**He does come off as a foil to the main character. I know it's kind of weird and random, but for some reason, he makes me think of a steampunk character. I wonder if your fantasy setting has steam punk elements...
- He does come off as a smart and good (albeit one not aware of the good part, which adds cookie point to him being lawful good but not a saint) person, if a bit of a pompous asshole.
- I don't really see a Lawful Good character wanting to be being a Magnificent Bastard, even one who's an asshole, as that'd involve hurting others and breaking too many rules.
- As for ideas on how to make him Lawful Good but not a saint... He's probably try to do the right thing, but not exactly be nice about doing it (in your character's case, be pompous and bad tempered about it). He'd do it mostly because his moral beliefs and social code tell him to, not that he particularly cares about the person.
My character is for a Dangan Ronpa
RP, which means, amongst other things, my character had to be a Japanese teen and pretty darn fucking good at some field. It restricted his creation one fuck of a lot.
- Name: Akito Yamamoto
- Age: 16 years old. The characters' ages are somewhat limited, so...
- Personality wise, Akito is very… Akito. The “aki” in his name stands for “sun” and this pretty much sums up his personality: he’s “solar”, so to speak. He’s fairly friendly and energetic, and his suppy of energy might seem endless, even though this isn’t the case and he often needs some time on his own to recharge.
- While generally optimistic and cheerful, sometimes he can become fairly quiet and brooding. He's still, mostly, his friendly self, though.
- He likes being happy and wants others to be happy. When people are sad, he’ll try to cheer them up wheter they want it or not. Akito strongly dislikes being bored and will always try to find ways to occupate himself. Seeing people bored almoust physically hurts Akito as well.
- He's a kind hearted person and will always try to help others, if he can. If he fails too, he might feel a bit lost and frustrated.
- His sense of justice is fairly strong: he strongly dislikes seeing others being wronged and accused unfairly: if one is insulted or bullied, he’ll do his best to protect the person.
- Sadly, sometimes he can be fairly impulsive, saying or doing things that might hurt other people.
- Because of his caring personality, he’ll bitterly regret it later and try his best to make up for it. His attempts at cheering people up or making up for any offense might be overly enthusiastic and desperate, greatly annoying people.
- He resents being weak. He tries his best to be make himself stronger, only his health doesn’t cooperates which makes him feel even more frustrated.
- He doesn’t put enough effort into things he doesn’t care about: when it comes to his grades, he’s only good in subjects he’s personally interested on.
- Abilities: Plays the cello, has very good ears, has one fuck of a hand-eye coordination: his fine motor skills are awesome, good intuition.
- Weaknesses: He's physically weak and can barely carry his cello's case around. Most often than not, people have to help him. He can also be naive and overly impulsive. This might cause him to make dumb decisions, but he's not quite dumb.
- Goals: He wants to be happy, and for those around him to be happy. At the present moment, he's trying to survive the situation he's currently in, which is kind of a Battle Royalle situation.
- Motivation: As I mentioned before, happyness. Maybe because his father works in the field, but he also has a strong sense of justice and will try his best to protect others. Unfortunately, he lacks the strenght to do so.
- Role in the story: It's a RP, but so far, he's unintentionally creeping others out with his cheerfulness.
- Backstory: Son of Suzuki Takashi and Suzuki Reiko. Takashi is a policeman, Reiko used to be a housewife. Reiko and Takashi were classmates in high school, and Reiko always tutored Takashi in math. The two fell in love and married after graduation.
- Reiko’s health had never been good, and worsened after Akito’s birth. She died when Akito was three years old. Akito feels a bit guilty for his mother’s death, but he hardly ever talks about it.
- Akito inherited his mother’s frail health, and even had to be held back one year in middle school. He’s physically weak, but this isn’t too obvious from looking at him.
- After becoming a widower Takashi moved back to his mother’s house so she could help him care for Akito. Figures, something simillar happened to Takashi’s childhood friend, Inoue Mai. The two bonded over childhood memories, the loss of a spouse and the difficulties of being a single parent, fell in love and married when Akito was six.
- Akito always got along well with his stepmother and younger stepsister. Hiroto and refers to Mai as his mother.
- Mai always played the piano as a hobby. Eventually, Akito decided he wanted to learn it as well. He thenbecame interested in the flute and then the cello, which turned out to be his “one passion”, as he describes. His family always encouraged him in his love of music and he feels extremelly proud he inspired his stepsister to become a musician as well.
- When Akito was ten years old, one of his friends got injured while trying to protect him from a mugger. This caused Akito to start resent being physically weak.
Tropes that describe Akito:
- Dude Looks Like a Lady
- Hidden Depths: He attempted to become a detective like his father when he was thirteen, but it resulted in Akito's hands nearly getting fubared.
- In Touch With His Feminine Side: Is openly emotional, not good at sports and loves to cook.
- Lethal Cheff: Subverted. His cooking is hit and miss.
- The Pollyanna: Generally speaking.
edited 28th Feb '13 8:26:19 AM by risingdreams
You haven't given a critique to the poster above you.
Pray tell, what school of trangression is this?
Insert witty title here
I decided to organize my post first, but will be doing in a jiffy.
edited 27th Feb '13 4:05:45 AM by risingdreams
@risingdreams: Sounds like a very interesting character, especially in terms of personality. One thing I want to know, is how does he react when he's made to feel weak? Does he say something, get a particular expression on his face? Show the way he reacts when faced with these situations.
: Sigurd Volsung
: Hot-tempered, impulsive, friendly and chivalrous. He will protect someone he likes and respects people who respect him.
Role in the story
: Protagonist, based on the mythical Sigurd from Norse legend.
: His intelligence, curiosity, friendliness and skill in fights.
: Pride, hot temper, especially when he or his family are insulted.
: Trace his old friend, fulfil his Childhood Marriage Promise
, kill a dragon and some Orcs. Avoid repeating history.
: Adventure, escape boredom
: Distant descendant of the original Sigurd. Born in the year 2185. Son of a military officer, Sigmund, and his wife. Sigurd was born after his father's death in action. His mother, Hjordis, died in childbirth, and he is raised by Regin, a dwarf of the line of Durin, (the royal line of Nidavellir) in a dwarven village, Durin's Forge, located in the woods outside the city of Silverlode, his foster father keeping a promise made to his mother before she died. He was homeschooled until shortly before the beginning of the story. As a child he met and made friends with a girl named Brunilda, and challenged her to a sword fight. When she won, the two of them promised that they would marry when they were older. Unfortunately, Nilda disappeared from his life, both offline and online (she left him her Facebook account name) and he spends time trying to find her.
After the End
: Lives in a time after climate change has caused an apocalypse
Childhood Marriage Promise
: With Nilda
: Is a profoundly gifted kid.
Death by Childbirth
: His mother died this way
: Was conceived partly by this
: A dragon named Svafnir plays a role in his life.
: He's distantly descended from Odin
through his father.
: By Regin.
: In the past, due to his giftedness
: Human adopted by dwarf and raised as a dwarf.
: Type 3.
: His mother was Black, and his father was Swedish-American
: Eventually does this when he learns of his possible fate.
Super Breeding Program
: Was the result of this with a dash of Designer Babies
Twenty Minutes In The Future
: He lives in the 22nd century.
edited 9th Mar '13 2:16:02 AM by MorwenEdhelwen
The road goes ever on.
Okay, I like this guy, mainly the fact that he's apparently quite intelligent which makes him an interesting subversion to the typical hotheaded characters that are typically portrayed as IdiotHeroes
. He actually reminds me a lot of one of my own characters (Sabyn).
Well, as the man who started the Villain Critique Thread, I've decided it's time for me to post on this thread.
See here for my a description of this series Big Bad
Anyway, this series of mine actually has three major characters which I'll list one at a time. I'll start with the leader of the team.
Cold, driven, ruthless and extremely protective of those under her care. Makora has always been a proud and competitive woman. The protector of a group of homeless people who have been victimized as guinea pigs for the corrupt government controlled by the 'Genesis' corporation. Makora is a perfectionist in everything she does.
Makora is a BRILLIANT tactician. Easily able to outmaneuver the much more powerful Genesis, and her martial arts training allows her to hold her own in one on one combat.
Her pride and perfectionism. Makora holds herself to a very high standard and is terrified of the thought of failing, deep down, she knows that she’s just some girl trying to fight an entire organization and she is terrified by the thought that her abilities just aren’t good enough. Because of that, she is terrified of showing any form of weakness, making her hostile and aloof. And her perfectionism makes it difficult for her to adjust to situations on the fly.
To bring down the 'Genesis' corporation and bring about the rise of a new government that will protect the people whom Genesis prays on.
Makora has an incredibly strong sense of justice, and is fanatically protective towards those in her care.
Role in the story:
Makora is The Leader
of the team, as well as The Smart Girl
, as one of the smartest members of the cast, it is often her manipulations that drive most of the plot.
Born in the year 2512, Makora grew up in one of the many cities controlled by the Genesis corporation, The cities education system had a very strict grading system and would fail all of those it deemed “inadequate”. Makora herself was almost top of the class, earning her family a great deal of money and prestige. Her relationship with her family was not a strong one as her parents rarely ever showed any genuine kindness to her, instead all but beating her perfectionism into her.
Still, Makora is and has always been an intelligent and curious individual and eventually she began to wonder what had happened to the children who had been deemed “inadequate.” Sneaking out from her class one day, she travelled down to the streets of her city where she came face to face with a horrible revelation.
The people who failed their grades were called “Inadequates”, but “trash” would be a better description of how they were treated. The corners of the city were littered with young people Makora’s age or younger who were left to starve out on the streets. Many of them sported hideous mutations, or had cybernetic implants horribly grafted onto them. Others gibbered amongst themselves clearly driven mad by some unknown horror. As she watched, she saw a young boy screaming as two men in labcoats began dragging him towards a van. It was the single most appalling thing she had ever seen in her life, and she knew she could not just stand by and watch.
Every night after school, she would sneak off to the streets, always making excuses to her parents why she was late home. There, she would try to take care of the “Inadequates” as best she could, giving them food and clothing, and even helping to hide them from the Genesis collectors.
Eventually however, her secret was discovered. One night as she tried to once again sneak away, she was unknowingly followed by a man who had been tipped off by her parents. When she got home, she was confronted by her parents as well as a local “social worker” from Genesis. The social worker explained to her that she had been followed and that they had been tracking her for several weeks. Her parents had given custody of her over to Genesis, and there were people on their way to “clean up her mess” as they spoke.
Makora was broken by this betrayal. She raged at the official and her parents. Didn’t they know what
was happening to those people on the streets!? Didn’t they realise they were being treated like trash, experimented on and then left to rot!?
“They had the chance to escape their fate, and they failed. We cannot help those who won’t help themselves. You’re a smart young woman Makora, I would have thought you’d know better.”
That was a mistake.
A cold resolution came over Makora at that moment
. Adopting the appearance of cooperation, Makora waited untill the man and her parents had lowered their guard, before shooting them dead with her fathers gun.
Makora did not stop to mourn, dismissing the thoughts of how she had just killed her own parents from her mind, she used their bodies as bait, using an ingenious manipulation of the apartment buildings security system, she lured several hundred Genesis officials into her old apartment, where they were caught in a home rigged explosion that destroyed the entire building.
Looking at the explosion from far away, Makora remained impassive. She had sent a message to Genesis, a declaration of war. And she refused to back down until the company was in ashes.
- Abusive Parents /Parents as People: Actually rather ambiguous which category her parents fall into, while their relationship with their daughter was certainly unhealthy, one must also consider the city that they lived in. It is quite possible that the pressure they put on her was their way of trying to protect her from the fate of the “Inadequates.” Either way, she definitely sees her parents as this, which is one of the reasons why she is so disdainful (and jealous) of Sabyn’s genuinely loving memories of HIS parents.
- Action Girl.
- Adults Are Useless: Subverted. There actually are adults who would be willing and able to help her. But due to some (rather understandable) trust issues, she refuses to accept their help and has even been known to become violent should the adult try and force the issue.
- Anti-Hero: Ruthless and manipulative, but she does genuinely care about those she considers in her “family”
- Arch-Enemy: Genesis. At least until Reyn shows up...
- Bad Ass
- Broken Bird: Her Ice Queen Jerkassness is a mask that covers some VERY deep insecurities.
- The Chessmaster: Easily one of the smartest members of the cast
- Chickification Subverted. While her coldness and hostility is a mask, her intelligence, determination and skill is not, and allowing her inner kindness to shine through actually makes her even ‘’more’’ dangerous, since by relaxing her perfectionist nature, she becomes more able to adapt to situations on the fly.
- Child Soldiers.
- Combat Pragmatist.
- Cool Big Brother:Sees Exile as an adopted version of this.
- Cool Big Sister: And is one for Kyra, hovering between adopted big sister and parental figure.
- Cute Bruiser.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Expy: Her personality was inspired by Mandy from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy.
- Fire-Forged Friends: With Sabyn and Exile. Especially since they start of as opponents.
- Genre Savvy: While not quite on the same level as Sabyn, she nevertheless shows some cunning and savvinesss. For instance, in one scenario, she has to meet up with one of her contacts in a seedy Biker Bar. Rather than going inside and getting caught in the inevitable bar fight, she instead decides to save time by simply gassing the place and dragging the contact’s unconscious body out of the bar so they can talk in a safer location.
- Ice Queen: At first.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold
- Kid Hero: Deconstructed. Most KidHeroes are portrayed as impulsive, dim-witted, and naïve. Makora is not.
- Knight in Sour Armor: Her experiences with Genesis have made her extremely cynical about how society works. In her eyes, one has no rights unless they can take them by force and have the sufficient power to back it up. In her experience, any law can and will be broken so long as one has the power to do so. Power is everything. And yet rather than using that philosophy to justify a life of crime, she is instead fighting for the sake of a group of downtrodden homeless children.
- The Leader: A combination of the first three types.
- Mama Bear: OH GOD YES!! along with The Chessmaster, this is probably her defining characteristic.
- Manipulative Bitch: of the amateur Con Man variety.
- Moral Myopia: In universe. If you’re part of her “family”, then she’ll do anything to protect you. If you’re not however, God help you if you get in her way.
- Power Blonde
- Pride: Even after she becomes a nicer person, Makora is still an extremely driven and competetive woman. Probably one of the reasons Sabyn likes her so much.
- Real Women Never Wear Dresses: Subverted. She clearly thinks this is the case. But see Chickification above
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Blue to Sabyn’s Red
- Self-Made Orphan: Rare heroic example.
- The Stoic.
- Supporting Leader: although the leader of their team, it is actually Sabyn who is the main character of the story.
- Team Dad: A Gender Flipped example, Makora is more protective than nurturing.
- Took a Level in Kindness: Mellows out after spending more time with Sabyn and Exile.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: With Sabyn. Then again, Sabyn has a vitriolic relationship with just about everyone.
- Well Done Daughter Girl: At first…
- Worthy Opponent: Sees Sabyn as this at first, after finding out he was Obfuscating Stupidity, but before they join forces.
- Young And In Charge: Justified, since everyone else is just as young as her, if not younger.
- Your Terroists Are Our Freedom Fighters.
edited 16th May '13 4:12:27 AM by Lunacorva
Sorry that the above post was only half done. I've edited it now.
In Justice We Trust!
Overall like them for a foundation and all working with. I have a particular soft spot for such characters anyway, so it’s easier to get a thumb up with it for me. I’d probably enjoy following them, though on side of “BRILLIANT” when it comes to tactics, I really will have to see that one in action and warn to be careful with that. It falls into having to show us then, which means that you yourself have to be that brilliant when it comes to backing that up. Keep that in mind since those who are more studied in such subjects may call you out on mistakes, unless you do the research. If you do intend to do the research though, I do have some suggested reading as it's one of my absolute favorite subjects to study and I've studied multiple books on subject.
If there is one thing I can suggest, it’s to expand more on who they are beyond that. Mainly because characters like that are plenty around. Even one I’m about to share has plenty of things in common. Now, you shouldn’t see that as entirely bad thing or good. On the positive side, I feel you do have a design for a real person there. I can name people like that and even reference actual personality psychology related to that. I also know that people are more than just the traits & attributes, which I think you need to expand into. Make her more of an individual. Right now I feel like character has a good surface and foundation, but I’m not confident if I could discern them from others who are like that. They pretty much needs to become more an individual. If it’s already there, then my apologies, you just didn’t present that side of the puzzle above too much aside from their relationship. I'd be all the willing to hear more though if you're willing to share it, including with their character relations. After all, I do still like what you have and think you’re on a good path!
Time for me to do own thing. Ironically, own character has similarities to the above one, which again goes to my personal love of the archetype. Hopefully it feels like own character though.
19 –> 20 (majority of main storyline, varies in other stories & flashbacks)
High profile extrovert, outwardly confident once decided for sure on things though can be internally self-critical at times, brazen, curious, has an aggressive which keeps under control with kindness, competitive, a bit theatrical (enjoys putting on a show), imaginative, career-oriented & ambitious, devoted & dependable, pragmatic & practical, not all the flirty type. Overall a Choleric-Melancholic, can point to other things she falls into as a whole in various personality systems.
Cassidy is the granddaughter to a legendary strategist who served as advisor to their country's emperor as well as the daughter of the founders of a Mega Corp.
known as Cain International. This alone has always added pressure on her to be a success, which she wants big time. Criticisms from some people since she was young alone about her being undeserving brat alongside meeting with people who were that that didn't help matters. Thus, she resolved to prove herself the exact opposite. Her time became devoted to training as much as possible, with various stories during said time.
Around 13 one of her mentors was assassinated and crime went unsolved, which still bothers her to the present. Still, at the time she felt powerless and couldn't do anything but rely on others, which she hates doing. She hates thought of this happening to anybody else, which is one of her drives to help others who are powerless. Around 16 her family's main HQ became a victim of arson, which killed multiple people. She was again hit by this feeling, especially since criminal responsible went untouched. Said mastermind sending a letter to her family which taunted them for failing to live up to their reputation of wisdom & intelligence only pissed her off more. At this point she created vigilante phantom thief persona for getting revenge and giving other's a taste of their own medicine on the side when she can. Her core objective though is to destroy Big Bad and every single person related to them. Anybody along the way she feels is a Karma Houdini
she's perfectly fine dealing with too, so long as she feels she has a reason to.
Plenty more here, just covering the basic essentials.
- Social Expertise: Cassidy is schooled in & studies topics ranging from social psychology to philosophy in hopes of better understanding, predicting, and influencing people. She is a social scientist who believes that an understanding of people is one of the greatest assets one can have alongside interesting. Although she has yet to master the craft, her curiosity & proficiency are undeniable. She takes the time to understand and get into the minds of anybody around her she feels she needs to, enemies included, to understand who they are, why they act that way, etc. She’s also comfortable in front of the cameras & confident in situations which requires tons of eyes on her, being energized by it more than anything else most of the time.
- Strategic & Tactical Specialist: Being the granddaughter of a master strategist lead to her being taught many fundamentals and knowledge about strategy since childhood. Due to her being familiarized with such things, she has an analytical eye for how to approach each situation. She is a major fan of maneuver warfare and grand strategy above all else. Out of all her traits, she specializes in this. Anything else is a subordinate to this side of her.
- Trained Martial Artist – Cass is an expert in hand-to-hand combat, particularly in grappling, pressure point/joint striking, and submissions. In her base martial arts discipline, Cassidy has trained since childhood and mastered it. At this point in life, she experiments with adapting elements of other crafts into her own and is growing on that side. She’s had the most success combining her tap dancing skills into it, giving her controlled footwork. She’s also not averse to fighting dirty.
- Varies weapon based skills: Average skills in most weapons aside from swordsmanship with a rapier, which she is above average with and archery, which she is well-trained in.
- Others: Talented at tap dancing, possess large amount of funds, stealth skills, La Parkour abilities, learned in the human body & how to train it, mental techniques ranging from speed reading to memory tricks, handwriting analysis, hypnotism, etc. Her talent in each vary, though she generally prefers to mix each skill together to create new things others can’t duplicate instead of being a specialist.
Wrath is Cassidy’s greatest vice. She has an explosive side which requires tons of discipline to keep under control when sparked. If pressed too far and her calmness retained after the initial spark, Cass changes into a ruthless, pragmatic, and vengeful Ice Queen. Fears exist of her becoming she who fights monsters. Moreover, despite her frowning upon it, she has a sadistic side when pushed to point where she sees someone as unredeemable.
Her proficiency can become obsessive at times. Cass doesn’t like to admit defeat. She’s willing to retreat and recover, but not yield unless she feels it’s becoming self-destructive. Furthermore, she’s a compulsive worker, which can sometimes lead to exhaustion, insomnia, and forgetting to eat. Her assistant stays on her for that.
Cassidy’s pride can be a double edged sword. She dislikes anything she perceives as weakness due to fears of them being exploited and used against her. She doesn’t like being pity or expressing hurt, feeling it would be advertising her vulnerabilities. Unless there is no option otherwise, she tends to remain internally on the alert with others unless it’s someone who has earned her trust, in spite of her outward friendliness and politeness.
Her pride extends into being a bit of a control freak at times. She trusts herself the most at tackling most problems and generally mostly comfortable when things are going by her design. She can be incredibly manipulative at times to retain this and get result she wants, to the point where she has to be reminded when she’s starting to see others as pawns for her objectives instead of people. Her deceptive, manipulative side does bother some, even those close to her.
Being a polymath also carries the weakness of not being as developed as specialist in some crafts.
She has some vanity, which she dislikes being seen as anything but her best. In her chosen style, Cass prefers a more business and intelligent design than anything else. She’s protective of her looks & more embarrassing moments aren’t meant to be seen by others. Also, while she’s fine dirtying her hands and enjoys expending effort to earn things, she dislikes getting too messy during it. While she’ll do it regardless since she feels the pros far outweigh the cons, she still hates the con.
Her curiosity is also strong to point where she sometimes hates secrets because she wants to know things about others.
Finally, Cass wishes to always be right. She hates mistakes and at times curses her own humanity as being unbecoming of a strategist & leader.
It’s worth noting that Cassidy is usually self-aware of her flaws, alongside keeps others around to call her out & reel her back in if she starts going too far, and thus tries her best to manage them or make amends for her mistakes when she does slip up. She is particularly attuned to how hypocritical her need to learn about others while keeping her own secrets is, which is why she tries to control that urge of hers & respect other's boundaries.
She seeks to use her strength to provide prosperity to both herself and others, be overall respected, remain in positions where she is not victimized, eliminate those who victimize humanity as a whole, make Deus suffer in particular, learn as much as she possibly can, and test her strengths against others.
Purpose in the Story:
1st person narrator as well as protagonist of her stories. In other stories within universe, it varies when she does appear.
- Above Good and Evil: Considers good & evil to be labels people use to justify themselves & demonize others, alongside fact that everybody has different definitions of good and evil. She prefers to get to the root of anything, fully understand each side, then do whatever she feels is the most acceptable course of action from her POV.
- Action Fashionista: Loves to fight and look good during it. Her preferred style of fashion involves anything she feels is dignified & commands respect. At her most relax she wears smart casual attires. Her closet is also filled with many, many different attires alongside she has her own tailor.
- Affectionate Nickname: By those close to her, they usually call her just Cass or Cassie. Her grandfather usually calls her kiddo, which is one of the few people she permits to call her "a kid."
- Agent Scully: Her attitude towards most that verges into what appears supernatural. Cass always tends to believe there is some form of scheming in play or scientific explanation & ultimately wishes to discerning what the facts are. It is important to note she does find the supernatural and such interesting. She just feels the need to discern fact from fiction because she feels a firm connection to reality is important for retaining one's power over a situation.
- Amazonian Beauty: While not massive in build (that sort of mass requires testosterone injection), Cass does have a notably toned figure which she takes pride in.
- Anchored Ship: With her friend Rebecca. She just isn't as comfortable airing her romantic feelings for anyone and tends to try and act like she's above such notions when she's not. There is also an element of her just being uncomfortable doing what she feels is essentially giving up power over herself to another.
- The Anti-Nihilist: Very much this. Her core concern surrounds finding ways to make the best of life for her and others while she can, in spite of all the negative elements she feels are there such as the lack of any true fairness, humanity's flaws, her belief that there is no god or they're ultimately flawed themselves, and many other things which a nihilist would complain on. Plenty of her philosophy can be seen as Existentialism & Humanism.
- The Apprentice: To her grandfather Edan, who does his best to train her as a strategist while her parents are busy running their company. Has been training as a tactician & strategist since she was 7.
- Awesomeness by Analysis: Worth noting that she is NOT a master of this yet. She's got experience and actively studies various things such as microexpressions to improve on her skills, but she is fallible. Still, her talent with it is there and a quick learner.
- Aunt Pennybags: If finances are whats required and she feels it's worth it, she's more than fine just throwing money at problem. Her attitude towards money as a whole is that it's just an instrument for ends and she's way more interested in what can be done with it than saving. Some of it is a display of her power, though her wish for others happiness is no less legitimate either.
- Badass Bookworm: Studies and reads a lot, including having a massive bookcase which she goes to daily. She also believes in taking care of her body & being knowledgeable in how to defend oneself, though she’s predominately an intelligence based person and considers maintaining her health as just an extension of her intellect.
- Bathing Beauty: Loves baths and remains as clean as she can in most cases. Her first response once any particularly lively activity is over is to bathe. One of her hobbies also includes relaxing in a tub while reading.
- The Beautiful Elite: Intentionally invoked as part of what she wants to be & feels gives her tactical advantageous over others.
- Benevolent Boss: Overall this, believing it's better for business, though she's willing to do pragmatic thing should the need arises and makes clear that she is the leader.
- Berserk Button: Victimizing the defenseless, cold cases, being disrespected or belittled (though she believes in getting her revenge by proving them wrong), murderers, and on more Played for Laughs most of the times, Enraged By Idiocy or whenever someone messes up anything in her room. Finally, she really hates when people try to take advantage of her kindness, particularly when she shows mercy.
- The Berserker: What losing control of her temper transforms her into. It's not a state she's proud of and if she enters into this state, she's generally on losing side then. Cassidy works best using her brains and considers this side unsophisticated, primal, & weak.
- Best Served Cold: Towards the Big Bad. She has no clue who the Big Bad actually is and hasn't for years, though she's fine waiting. In their first conversation alone, she makes it clear that she has no intentions to show them any mercy whatsoever and warns them to kill themselves before she uncovers who they are because once she has, she will place them into a Fate Worse Than Death. She also exploits this in hopes of causing a Paranoia Gambit in the Big Bad as she progressively dismantles their organization, with hopes that they'll commit suicide before she gets to them to try & escape her wrath. If they would, she'd be fine since they'd be gone. If not, she's fine with that option too since that means she gets to enact her plan.
- Bi the Way: Though doesn't advertise it since she feels it's nobody else's business.
- Bully Hunter: Backstory related during her days in private school.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: In relation to her fascination with the bizarre and unorthodox, alongside her own hidden eccentricities. She's still highly efficient and believes in that at the foremost.
- Butt Monkey: During any of more comedic moments, Cassidy usually falls into becoming this to other's antics & how much they enjoy messing with her. She does sometimes get them back with small pranks instead of purely just taking it.
- Calling Card: Takes credit for her various crimes via appearance of a Sir Reynard, the trickster fox. It's also how she chooses to communicate with people in secret.
- Catch Phrase:
- Celibate Heroine: Subverted. Cassidy generally claims to be this and appears it on the outside, though she does keep what is essentially a Secret Relationship even if not official.
- Challenge Seeker
- The Chains of Commanding: Shown from time to time with more difficult parts of being a leader. She accepts it though as part of the job and considers it worth it since she's still the brains of the operation.
- Cheshire Cat Grin: Tends to pop up when something has caught her interest. Has been noted by others close to her they usually find it to be creepy.
- The Chessmaster: She is familiar with numerous tactics, strategies, philosophies behind thing, historical battles, etc. alongside can explain the various elements about them on a drop of a dime. As a Grand Strategist, she's capable of running long term operations, explain how to run them, why to do it this way, how to adapt to unexpected elements, etc. Xanatos Speed Chess is her top specialty and her preferred style as a strategist involves maneuver warfare. Also only moderately good at playing actual chess. See below.
- Since I think someone saying their character is this is easy, I'll give an example of a scheme. Earliest one in the series before the real Battle of Wits erupts. She receives a challenge from Narcissa Richmond, a primadonna Attention Whore villain who is trying to use The Grandmaster's fame to rub up on herself by attacking someone else who is famous & wagers a special gemstone. Her first move upon arriving is to interrupt Narcissa's parading around and generally act unimpressed. She uses her family reputation to draw attention to herself and irritates Narcissa by warning her about how her plan will fail. When Narcissa gets aggressive, she gets internally ticked off about being grabbed before reining it in and reminding herself one of her lessons. From that point she reintroduces herself, given a length one filled with name drops to test Narcissa's response. If Narcissa attacked her, she'd be fine with it since police were present and would take them away from public, throwing off Narcissa's ability to carry out scheme. Her connections would protect her, particularly because she was seen on-camera simply chatting while she could also use them to keep Narcissa locked down in that position while she stole what was up for grabs. If not - which Narcissa doesn't out of fear - she's able to note how intimidated she was & factor it into future plans. From there she challenges her ego to stop her from leaving, forcing her to stay there as part of a small debate. The debate itself is meant for 2 purposes. The first is a legit deterrence strategy. She wants to frighten Narcissa into giving up using a combination of her family's reputation and The Grandmaster's to give her claims weight. When Narcissa fails to listen, as she expected, she takes advantage of it from there. Her Plan B involved exploiting her favorite psychological principle, cognitive dissonance. The first stage was affirming the commitment. She turned Narcissa's own attention whoring back on her by making it as public as possible, made sure to get affirmations to things, knew it was voluntary since Narcissa was one who started it, and took in account her effort up until then. All together this creates commitment. Cass then created a high stakes wager, betting a large sum against her. When Narcissa hesitates, she brings up her previous commitment and adds in bonus of making it sound like this will be free money, should she be right. Cass factored in Narcissa being an opportunist & wish for easy gain. However, she uses Exact Words to make it so she'll profit no matter what, so long as she doesn't get caught. The pressure and immediacy of the moment further assists, making it hard for Narcissa to think about the deal. Peer pressure is final factor in, with Cass using those around to motivate Narcissa to reply swiftly. It also makes good PR for her family's business. Beyond that, while she has a scheme for the train job itself, ultimately it's less about stealing the object up for grabs (which she considered could be a fake and turns out is) and more about convincing Narcissa to change sides via a con instead. Once she does confront as Grandmaster, trapping away from help & such through stuff not going through right now, she avoids combat by creating a Mexican Standoff (or at least, appears as such. It's a distance weapon versus closed range, plus she analyzes to realize that Narcissa only has a Weapon for Intimidation) and tries to talk the problem out. She uses foreknowledge based on research to figure out how to approach Narcissa and factors in her psyche before giving her a choice. She makes clear she can lie to the public that she won since she has the real gem still or she can admit her wrongs, donate it, and change her public persona. She finally promises that if she does the former, she will repay a visit and won't be as merciful that time. Finally, when Narcissa does choose to do the former instead, Cass reveals that she already took that into account and factored it into the wager. Since Cass as herself won their wager, two factors included was that Narcissa has to personally deliver the sum to her house and has to do it by a certain deadline. Cass fine playing waiting game, which she intends to continue her con from there by pretending that Narcissa impressed her still & she wishes to align with her against The Grandmaster. She also further intentions for her due to the Big Bad being involved now, but that's other details.
- Classy Cat-Burglar: Intentionally cultivates this image in her alter ego for the sake of PR.
- Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Towards her more eccentric friends as a whole. Her group also eventually grows into more a Caper Crew, which she acts as this to the others as part of her status as The Leader.
- Collector of the Strange: Prefers to obtain anything which catches her eye that’s particularly unique or rare. This includes her taste in people. She also does so for a tactical advantage; she enjoys expanding her knowledge into the unknown to confuse her oppositions and believes that a different perspective can be useful for attacking problems.
- Combat Aestheticist: She loves efficient schemes & all the effort which goes into planning, to point of calling well-crafted ones “Strategic Masterpieces” & claims that strategy & tactics are an art style within itself. The same goes for the plans of others, which she has a respect for over just being The Brute, so long as she approves of the end of the scheme. She also collects weapons she considers beautiful, some of which she hangs on her bedroom walls, as well as loves martial arts techniques which she considers particularly graceful to watch and require finesse.
- Combat Pragmatist: Perfectly fine fighting dirty if she feels it necessary. Mostly invoked against stronger enemies who she can't rely on her pure skill alone & when the stakes are far too high to permit failure.
- Control Freak: Though she's fine picking more subtle variations of control over others. She also is working to keep it under control and become more comfortable with following other's leads, though it's not easy for her unless they've earned her respect. Generally this tendency comes out the more frustrated she becomes and internally shown as another thing she tries to manage.
- Cool Big Sis: To her adoptive little sister Sylvia, at least when they are butting heads over Cass' scheming side.
- Crazy-Prepared: "No Day Unalert" is her motto as a whole and she tries to be this. It's another thing she hasn't gotten down entirely ye & can be caught by Didn't See That Coming if its an unknown unknown. She also tends to rely more on being well-prepared & trained than anything else.
- Crime Fighting With Cash
- Cuteness Proximity: Has a soft spot for things she considers cute, particularly animals.
- Dance Battler: Her tap dancing footwork is often combined with her movements in fights because she's comfortable with it & footwork is important to fighting.
- Defeat Means Friendship: One of her personal favorite tactics for dealing with adversaries. She learned it from her grandfather and is how she gained her most loyal ally in character of Wynn in backstory.
- Don't You Dare Pity Me!: Again, really doesn't like appearing vulnerable because she fears it will be taken advantage of.
- Everythings Better With Chocolate: Considers chocolate to be the greatest snack ever created. Although she cares a lot about maintaining her figure and look, she tends to snack on chocolate coins a lot. She also celebrates each mission well done with massive expensive chocolate cakes, which have been prepared for her by a famous baker, that are kept inside of the mansion’s walk-in refrigerator and she stocks up on every few months. Finally, the element of it being a mild antidepressant helps her retain the calmness she desires.
- Extracurricular Enthusiast: Was this during her time in private school.
- Fiery Redhead: She generally tries to keep it under control & aims to have Nerves of Steel, though her temper can get the better of her sometimes. Also, she tends to hate any commentary linking her fiery side with her having red hair, treating it as an example of haven’t heard that before.
- The Fighting Narcissist: Heroic variant for the most part
- For Happiness: Her guiding motivation. While her guiding ideology is ultimately Utilitarian, she is aware of the drawbacks and careful with them. She's also aware of the same with deontology and ultimately feels that between the two, other people's happiness is the only one she can place faith in.
- Friends with Benefits: With her best friend, not that she'll freely admit it.
- Freaky Is Cool: Tends to finds the eccentricities in humanity to be more intriguing and fully believes that there is no true "normal", just things which are commonplace. She considers the deeper elements interesting, particularly with uncovering what they are and people's logic behind why it's there.
- Genius Sweet Tooth: LOVES anything sweet tasting.
- Girlish Pigtails: High pigtails variant of it. It actually is noted it contrasts many things about her and some do comment on it as influencing their impression of her. As for her reason why, it's purely because she likes them. She considers them to be cute and will do whatever she feels like while relying on everything else to prove her competence.
- Go-Getter Girl: Nothing is forcing her to be this way at all. It's a conscious choice on her part because it's what makes her happy.
- Good Is Not Soft: As nice and polite as she usually is, if she feels it won't get the job done, she'll drop it on the spot and do whatever she feels is the most efficient. As she notes at one point, while she aims to be a force of preservation, she realizes that sometimes preserving one thing requires destroying another. Still, she doesn't wish to be a destroyer.
- Graceful Loser: Though she doesn't like losing at all, she still believes in maintaining one's dignity in defeat and has been taught to learn how to accept her losses alongside learn from them. She generally respects anybody who can defeat her alongside enjoys the challenge of preparing for a rematch.
- Green-Eyed Monster: With regards to her best friend Rebecca, despite their relationship not being official. She doesn't care for Rebecca's flirty side with others or when someone shows interest back, even though she knows Rebecca isn't actually interested in them & has other motives for it. Rebecca does also sometimes use it just to annoy Cass.
- Guile Heroine: Although she loves to fight (for the sake of the challenge and testing one’s skills alone, not brutality), she’s more comfortable scheming, networking, manipulating, playing politics, etc.
- Hidden Depths
- Hollywood Atheist: Cassidy is closer to agnostic than anything else. She feels there are way too many questions and issues with god-like figures and while she doesn't have proof they don't exist, she's uncomfortable placing faith in them. She prefers to be the master of her own fate and prefers to put faith in herself.
- Honest Corporate Executive: In training. She REALLY wants to be this, believing it’s the right thing to be as a leader, something she can do a lot of good with, and she thrives in such situations anyway. She also wishes to neutralize every Corrupt Corporate Executive she encounters, believing that she is freeing the world from them.
- Hot-Blooded: Internally, with it occasionally slipping out if she's caught up in the moment.
- Hot Chick In A Badass Suit: How she tends to dress when she's out.
- Hypocrisy Nod: Does acknowledge her own hypocrisies from time to time, though she's not proud of them & tries to avoid it.
- The Insomniac: Whenever she enters into one of her obsessive stages and really into whatever she's working on. Tends to crash whenever she's finished and generally treated as something she should avoid by others. Cass herself does note that she actually hates sleeping, considers it another human flaw, and one of few reasons she does it is for the sake of her health
- Jack of All Trades
- Just Like Robin Hood: Any con or caper she runs is meant to help those who are incapable of helping themselves or relying on the laws to deal with the issue.
- Knight in Sour Armor: Admittedly can have some views which seem cynical, though she tends to ultimately find some way to twist around to an optimist alongside holds to her hope. A good example is her feelings to kindness. She outright says that kindness is a choice, not an attribute, which people use for various ends, whether they benevolent or malicious. She does add in afterwards that she still likes it as a tactic and thinks that, when used properly, is better than many of the alternatives.
- Know When to Fold 'Em: Brings it up from time to time, both to convincing her enemies this when facing her and when she realizes further fighting doesn't serve her ends.
- Lady and a Scholar: Which, again, is a conscious choice how she's molded herself. It makes her happy to strive to be this.
- Lady and Knight: With her subordinate Wynn. Important to note that their connection is not romantic at all, leaning more towards Platonic Life Partners.
- Lady Snarker: From time to time.
- Lady of Adventure
- Lady of War: Her preferred style
- Large Ham: Another trait of her she generally tries to keep under control, though it slips out from time to time when she gets caught up in the moment, particularly when she's The Grandmaster. Cass generally enjoys theatrics and creativity which goes into them.
- The Leader: Type 1 most of all, intersects into every other type by her designs for efficiency.
- Limited Social Circle: Cass keeps her amount of close friendships small, though she does have acquaintances & subordinates from past ventures.
- Magnetic Hero: Tends to aim to be this, with varying success.
- Manipulative Bitch: A mixture of the cold & analytical type, con man, and great liar. She relies the most on social engineering. Her favorite social psychology to exploit is cognitive dissonance, though she’s well versed in many others which are explained.
- Martial Pacifist: Particularly as a strategist, which she aims To Win Without Fighting & believes in preservation. She does sometimes slip due to her wrath & frustration with humanity's flaws - alongside internally acknowledges her rage, but generally lends to being discipline and following what she feels is right.
- Mixed Ancestry: Her father is an Imperial, her mother has foreign blood from country they’re involved in a cold war with. For some it works, given her an exotic blend & red hair, others dislike her for it and against the practice. It also can serve a useful function as Grandmaster persona since her face can be confused for either or if directly seen, though she tends to avoid being looked at.
- Moe: Invoked when doing research as Arlene Locksley the Fourth. She pretends to be a shy, vulnerable female writer to lower guards & convince people to help her get the technical information she requires for objectives.
- Must Make Amends: Her usual attitude whenever she feels she has made a mistake or collateral occurs she didn't intend. She does also prefer to do it personally to prove she's sincere about it, even if it places her in situations she dislikes.
- My Greatest Failure: Ultimately feels this way about the outcome of the first Battle of Wits with the Big Bad. While her Xanatos Gambit works, she losses her temper - as the Big Bad was trying to cause - during their showdown and she gets sloppy in her first fight with The Dragon. When she realizes that she cannot win, she creates an opening to retreat and regroup at the expense of abandoning someone who she promised to rescue & knows that the Big Bad intends to sell off as a Sex Slave in a foreign country. Even though she didn't like the person in question & their own actions placed them in the situation in first place, she's not comfortable knowing that fate waits them or that she used them as a pawn for her scheme then practically threw them away when they outlived their usefulness.
- Neat Freak: Can be this from time to time. She's more so this with her own stuff than anything else, reasoning that it's hers and so she wants it to be well taken care of. Also brought up with regards to her room. Although she could have a maid clean her room, she refuses to out of a fear of people messing up and maintains it herself.
- Nerves of Steel: More so during actual danger and action than anywhere else. She still feels all the emotions others have, she just refuses to let them control her and uses techniques such as counterbalance techniques & death ground for her discipline.
- Nice to the Waiter: Firmly believes in treating one's workers as kindly as possible and making their existence well in exchange for quality work. She believes it's part of the very foundation of leader/subordinate relationship and dislikes anybody who disrespects it.
- The Needs of the Many: While she prefers to Take a Third Option, if she can't figure out an option, this is where she leans. Again, not that she likes it.
- Non-Idle Rich: Considers the best thing about being wealthy is being able to be so active & possessing the resources for her various schemes.
- No One Gets Left Behind: She's really not comfortable with plans which involving sacrificing others she's promised to protect.
- Not in the Face!: REALLY doesn't like having her face targeted of all places, which can be used against her at times.
- Not so Above It All
- Odd Friendship: Most of her friendships tend to appear this way due to her enjoying company of the varied sort.
- Pen Name: Arlene Locksley the Fourth, though Cass herself doesn't write any of the stories released under the name. She hires others to ghost write for her then has them released to the public all for the sake of adding credibility when she's researching information that's relies on It's for a Book.
- The Perfectionist: Particularly because she’s spoiled. Cassidy is aware of how lucky she is and how easy it can be. She also aware of other inheritors who are more slothful & coast on their family’s fortunes for the most part, which she refuses to become. Given her desires for respect and efficiency, she's very focused at getting things right.
- Phantom Thief: As The Grandmaster of Theft
- The Power of Hate: Tapped into at various times and important to overall story. She generally likes the power it gives her and aware of the benefits, though she's also knowledgeable of the drawbacks and fearful of losing herself to it. Her ideal outcome is to figure out how to conquer the drawbacks while still channeling it's power.
- Pragmatic Hero: Her colder side is this. She does prefer idealism, she just believes in being practical above all else if the situation calls upon it.
- The Prankster: A guilty pleasure of hers from time to time. Shows up in some elements of her schemes as a phantom thief, mainly as an outlet for it and when it doesn't interfere with efficiency.
- Professional Gambler: Though she's not particularly invested in the gambling itself. She enjoys it, but it's primarily a research tool & a form of training.
- The Profiler: Part of how she knows to approach is person and deal with them is due to her studying them as best she can to understand who they are, what they've done, what makes them tick, what buttons to press, etc.
- Protagonist Journey To Villain: Played with. See She Who Fights Monsters for more.
- Proud Beauty: In a reserved way. While she doesn't outwardly flaunt it, she genuinely enjoys her look and will allow the Halo Effect to take root in others for the added benefits, particularly with regards to coming off as The Beautiful Elite. However, she doesn't care to brag about it or do things which intentionally call attention since she considers subtlety to be far better & her takes more pride in her brains. The best way to put it, she considers beauty as another extension of her intelligence.
- Rich Boredom: Actively works to avoid this and a truth of the matter is that if she wasn't as active as she is, she would be miserable because she gets restless without something to do.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!
- Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: Not a fan of the above or this one, though she'll work with what she can for what she feels is the greater good.
- Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!: Engineers her look for expressed purpose of exploiting this (referencing the Halo Effect even), though she doesn't actually believe in it. Again, it's purely pragmatic and her working with what tools she has to obtain the best outcomes.
- Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right!: The core reason she'll screw the rules.
- Secret Identity: The Grandmaster is her core one, though she runs a few others depending on her requirements. Important to note that the top reasons she maintains secret identities is because she doesn't wish to become a Fallen Princess or endanger those close to her, but she still wishes to take down those who draw her ire.
- Secret Relationship: Her relationship with her friend Rebecca, even if she just won't outright admit it is this. Her reasons deal with her perfectionist side and wish to appear above such things.
- Selfish Good: According to herself. She generally falls within the lines of acceptable behavior though will argue she only does so because she feels like it & enjoys reaping the benefits of it. For instance, she's outwardly what most people would consider altruistic towards people, though she'll deny her actions as being that. She'll even note that helping people is done purely because she doesn't want the guilt of not helping them when she knows she can on her conscience. Furthermore, Cass doesn't believe that selflessness actually exists whatsoever anyway, claiming that a truly selfless action requires one to literally get nothing out of it. Positive feelings included.
- Sempai Kohai: With her friend Rebecca.
- She Who Fights Monsters: Has problems with this at times due to how pragmatic she's willing to get. The more she faces certain people and darker she gets, the more worried some are about this happening to her. Whether or not it does is part of the story. Furthermore, this happening to her is one of her greatest fears. She's well acquainted with stories of people starting out with the best of intentions who wind up becoming as worse as the villains they fight. She's between not wanting to be taken advantage of or allowing certain people to succeed at their objectives due to the repercussions and not becoming a horrible person in the process.
- Significant Green-Eyed Redhead
- Skilled, but Naïve: Any flashback variant of Cassidy. Her present self has mostly outgrown this
- Smart People Play Chess: She does enjoy gambling with it from time to time, though it's important to note she's only moderately good. The reasons ultimately deals with fact that chess is merely a game about destruction & domination alone, which she feels doesn't reflect what a strategist should be. In particular, one of her weaknesses as a chess player is her distaste for sacrificing pieces. Finally, she'd point out that chess doesn't capture the elegance and essence of true strategy & leadership, from the relationships with the pieces to the numerous factors which can influence an outcome to how there are a far greater variable of outcomes that a real strategist deals with.
- Sophisticated as Hell: Rarely, but when she's REALLY angry & trying to retain control herself, she displays this. Canon wise, she only does this to the Big Bad, who she made clear she hates more than anybody else.
- Spirited Young Lady: What her combination of Proper Lady and The Trickster ultimately form into.
- Spoiled Sweet
- Straight Edge: Works from the "my body is a temple" perspective and doesn't like to poison it with drinking, smoking, or drugs. She's also not a fan of promiscuity.
- The Strategist: And comes from a family of them. Her actual methods are based around various strategist throughout (our) human history, particularly Sun Tzu's Art of War.
- The Team Benefactor: Money & Knowledge variant, though important to note she sometimes uses her brains to get others to fund them instead and save her money.
- Technical Pacifist: For the most part, and aims to be as pacifistic as she practically can. It’s actually part of her principles as a strategist. After certain events with the Big Bad, she's considering dropping this attitude towards them alone.
- Terror Hero: Perfectly fine exploiting this since she just views it as a practical tool for peace.
- Think Nothing of It: Tends to crop up when she helps others. Usually her justification for this attitude deals with fact she ultimately did it for what she considers a selfish reason, even if others wouldn't feel that her logic is selfish.
- Tsundere: Type B as a whole.
- Token Yuri Girls: Cass and Rebecca
- Totalitarian Utilitarian: Her darker side. She really fears transforming into this, though she still believes in happiness above all else because it's the one thing she can put faith in.
- Trophy Room: Her bedroom doubles as one. She keeps photographs and objects on display as battle trophies & proof of her accolades. Furthermore, she keeps a small password protected file which keeps track of anything she's proud of she accomplished as The Grandmaster, which generally includes articles on people helped as a result of her actions.
- The Vamp: Averted for most part and important to note she dislikes sexual seduction as her personal tactic to persuade others. She knows how to use it & doesn't care if someone else does it within her camp, but refuses to herself. A Godzilla Threshold has to be reached for her to implement it.
- Wacky Parent, Serious Child: Subverted. With regards to both her father and her grandfather, who both appear less serious than her. The contrast between Cass and Edan is noted by some, who find it odd that his granddaughter seems so much more serious than him. Still, at the root of things, she is influenced by them as well, which is part of the reason for her own eccentricities she beneath the surface.
- Waistcoat of Style: As The Grandmaster, she wears variation which includes a hood. The vest doubles as a bulletproof vest thanks to liquid armor.
- Warrior Therapist: Tends to use this against enemies, believing psychological warfare is just another tactic to obtaining her objectives.
- Weak, but Skilled: Physically, Cass is only 5'5 and in spite of her training, a male who also is trained & takes care of their health would likely dominate her in a straightforward battle. She balances it out by leaning more towards this as a fighter focusing far more on coordination, techniques, self-control, exploiting the terrain, messing with the opponent's head, targeting their weak points, and so forth.
- White-Haired Pretty Girl: As The Grandmaster, which she uses make-up to appear paler and a crop platinum wig over her regular hair, which is compressed and pinned beneath.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: As a child. While she holds herself as being a realist above all else, her optimism does tend to still come through at times.
- Workaholic: She really is, but she uses this as her disguise to keep fact she's a phantom thief hidden. Instead of using Obfuscating Stupidity (since that wouldn't gain her respect), she plays up herself as being way too busy to ever be a phantom thief. Beyond that, mostly anything she does ultimately somehow connects back to her development as an heiress.
edited 16th Apr '13 8:42:38 PM by Prime_of_Perfection
Does anyone have suggestions for me?
The road goes ever on.
I would by I feel that you written to little to actually to actually comment about character, most tropes describe world, and even then it's still quite convuluted is this alternate history where Norse mythology was always truth, or is it magic goes back kind of deal, generly speaking from what I see this character suffers from the fact that his goals are pretty generic, kill dragon , get girl, we don't know really his motives, and that stuff is very important.
It's a world where magic has come back after being dormant after Ragnarok, which is more of a battle in which all the races participated and fled to our world to escape.
edited 8th Mar '13 1:52:30 PM by MorwenEdhelwen
The road goes ever on.
In Justice We Trust!
@ Morgen, I've the same problem that there is barely anything there for me to comment on. I think the concept in itself involving the myths has merit in being cool, but what you shared is so vague and there is truthfully barely much there you explored to work with for me to respond to the character. I feel you need to dig deeper and expand on the details big time.
The road goes ever on.
In Justice We Trust!
It's still as vague as when I said that before.
I'll think over it and edit it again.
The road goes ever on.
In Justice We Trust!
Pretty much give us more meat to it. You lack anything for us to sink teeth into to respond to. For instance, they have a temper. Okay, what makes them angry? Why does it make them angry? Etc.
Also, will throw this out there for any who says their characters are smart or prodigies and all. This being similar block I hit early on, what makes your character such a prodigy? Can you back it up in the way you write them? Because doing so requires you yourself to be able to understand things on that level to show it and explanation why. If you are, you best live up to expectations because when you run into people who understand the subjects, they might be critical unless it's something you made up that involves magic. That or with intelligence, in what ways are they intelligent? Just saying someone is smart is another vague thing, particularly because there are different areas of intelligence. How did they become so intelligent, particularly if they're young characters, who are still developing big time.
edited 9th Mar '13 2:02:31 AM by Prime_of_Perfection
@Prime: What do you mean by "Something you made up that involves magic"?
The road goes ever on.
If yoy say that he is smart in area like, physics , math, geography or so on, and then character will say something to show it ( and if gone call him child prodgiy then you really should do so, because else, it will become Informed Ability
) and it will be something that is obviously not true , someone who actually studies or knows this stuff will think "damn this story is stupid, math doesn't work that way " and so on, but if you go with magic something that doesn't exist in real life you can come up with your own rules for it that can be used to show how smart, and inteligent main character is.
edited 9th Mar '13 2:57:25 AM by Cryticus
In Justice We Trust!
As in anything entirely imaginary. For instance, let's take the Green Lantern ring. It's capabilities and limitations are whatever the writer says ultimately. Now, the subject becomes deeper as one explores science behind things, etc. but I digress. The core truth is that with things like that which are imagined up, it's what the writer says.
With that said, on other side, let's take more intellectual based things which are based 100% irl things which we can understand. For instance, take me bringing up social science before. I can sit down and explain all kinds of things involving it, which is my proof that the character is precisely that. Not understanding those type of deals can lead to things like... hmm... saying someone is a master swordsman when they're wielding a rapier and using it like a katana. Anybody who understands swordsmanship will call them out on it and then credibility is lost because failed to live up to expectations.
Now, I will note one CAN not care about those things at times. Plenty of successful series do. Plus there are always elements of the unexpected & we romanticize plenty of things in fiction. Some genres require us to. Fiction is based around guidelines, not black and white rules mostly. Still, I will say one should research realistic things as best as they can while making their decisions on how they wish to approach the subject.
You summed it up in way less words, I love it!
Pretty much it all comes down to avoiding Informed Ability
alongside figuring out what's best for the genre. After all, some of it works and, in spite of there always being those who can't be pleased, it's still successful because it resonates with enough people. Hawkeye's archery in The Avengers
isn't always down pat with all learned things there. Ah well though, it's freaking cool and it works.
Plus then there is the important thing to understand that with mastery, true mastery with plenty things, it's a special process beyond just logical training. One can learn all the rational things within it, but to truly become a master requires more than that. It requires one to explore themselves, to add their own uniqueness into it, figure out what works best for them etc.
It's like if someone learns all the things involving a martial arts craft. It's still going to take plenty of time to grow beyond that. One learns from many things I'm not exploring right now, bringing elements together, figuring out what's most comfortable for them alongside efficient, etc. The final stage of a true master is someone who can do without thinking. It becomes simple, it's just a part of them, something effortlessly expressed and done.
One thing will add on to point with that is that each person's truth is unique to themselves. Really, this one story heard regarding Bruce Lee
, his training, blah blah blah with someone else best sums it up. Bruce relied on speed and such. He worked with that, though the guy in question noted he's more comfortable with strength. Bruce pointed out with him then to work with that and make it work for him since that's his true, not Bruce's, and he needs to find his own way and figure it out.
So yeah, use all you can around. There is TONS in this world. Stand on the shoulders of giants and all that. This current age makes it incredibly easy to do. As Bismark best said, "Fools say that they learn by experience. I prefer to profit by others' experience."
edited 9th Mar '13 3:15:20 AM by Prime_of_Perfection
One way you could approach that is ask someone who knows about it.
The road goes ever on.
Note: This character is intended to be a Deconstruction
of heroes, Wake Up, Go to School, Save the World
, and The Promise
with focus on the psychological aspects. Play realistically the horrible truth that in a hero's quest to protect people, fight off evil (both monsters/supernatural horrors and the worst aspects of humanity), etc, he's eternally surrounded by tragedy, death, suffering, and blood shed, and see how his mental and emotional state fare.
-Conceptual stage of progression: Early beta stage.
-Name: Votul Bretin
-Appearance: 5'10", short black hair, dark blue eyes. If the eyes are the window of the soul, then they indicate that beneath the stoic exterior that he's crying on the inside from all of his trauma.
-Alignment: Chaotic Good
-Personality: Cold, aloof, stotic, anti-social. Pushes people away for their own good (or so he believes, YMMV on actual correctness). For those who earn his trust, he's a loyal life long friend. Absolutely will not give up once he's set his mind to something, regardless of the cost to himself. While he maintains the appearance of fearlessness, at heart, he's every bit as scared as a normal person.
-Relations: No blood family. Lost them when young. Was sole survivor of multi-car pile up car accident when he was 9 or so he thought
. Was adopted by a childless couple (aren't able to have kids of their own). Eventually revealed that was Delana who told her parents about his plight and convinced them to pull some strings and mend his broken family life. They notify a war hero friend of her father (Votul's future mentor and source of his impressive fighting ability and tactical cunning) and the rest is history.
-Abilities: None. All he has going for him in his struggle are his cunning, discipline, resolve, equipment, and his truly dangerous fighting ability. His physical abilities (strength, agility) are within the top 15-20% of human ability.
—Equipment: Bastard sword (wielded one handed, also for pragmatic reasons since some of the monsters/demons he fights are best killed with slashing weapons), special issue machine pistol (wielded simultaneously with sword and with single/burst/auto fire modes), "bull pup" model assault rifle (basically a design in which the ammo is behind the trigger, a design made to be more compact), various grenades, body armor with over-lay/underlay design, helmet with visors capable of normal/thermal/infrared/night vision functions.
-Weaknesses: Anti-social. As tough as he is, he's still a normal person. Due to the horrors he's witnessed and trauma he's suffered, suffers from PTSD (feeds alot of his personality issues. Of interesting note is that younger people are more vunerable to getting PTSD than adults, so in a way, he's also a deconstruction of teenage heroes.
-Goals: Wants a world in which no one build their futures off the blood and tears of others.
-Motivation: Swore to make the hopes and dreams of his childhood friend Delana who he first met when he was seven a reality. Does so because during the lowest point in his life, she was one of the only people that was there for him.
-Role in the story: He's the hero and half of a co-protagonist.
- Anti-Hero: Borderline Type 2/3. I personally dislike type 5 (even to a lesser extent type 4) antiheroes, especially how oversaturated we are in terms of their numbers and how cliche they've become. It feels like the antihero has been sterotyped as this uber grim dark hero in name only. As such, there is a need for more people on the lighter end of the scale.
- Asexuality (subverted as besides from Delana, he's basically A)
- Bad Ass Normal: I find these characters to be inspiring and easier to relate to compared to super powered freaks, since they show that anyone can be a hero.
- Berserk Button:
- Papa Wolf: Harming kids is a quick way for him to go apeshit on someone.
- Wife-Basher Basher: Don't harm or mistreat women in his presence either.
- Chaotic Good
- Counter Part Comparison: Much of the inspiration for this character comes from characters such as Zero, Bat Man, Death Stroke, and Homura
- The Determinator
- Earn Your Happy Ending: I prescribe to the style of Don Bluth, meaning that even if the world isn't pleasant, its not hopeless. The happy ending is much more satisfying when the hero really gives it his all to conquer his trials/inner demons.
- Face Your Fears: Doesn't have much choice in it either. Is not the fearless sort his appearance claims to be, all he does is manage his fear.
- [[spoiler: Generation Xerox: Inherited the more martial aspects of his mother's fighting style. Also like her marries a childhood friend.
- Genius Bruiser (more like above average intelligence)
- Good Is Not Nice -> Good Is Not Soft
- Happily Adopted
- The Hero: Deconstructed.
- Heroes Prefer Swords: Subverted, as its only a part of his fighting style. Some of which was taught to him by his mother.
- Hurting Hero
- Iron Woobie
- Knight in Sour Armor: Becomes a Type II antihero in the end.
- Patrick Stewart Speech AND Shut Up, Hannibal!: Tells the villain that he's full of shit over a Motive Rant that Humans Are Bastards that need to be wiped out.
- The Promise: Deconstructed
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Blue to Delana's red.
- Shell-Shocked Veteran: Suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
- Sibling Yin-Yang: His fighting style is the exact opposite of his sister.
- The Stoic
- Undying Loyalty
- Victorious Child Hood Friend: Like his mother before him.
- Wake Up, Go to School, Save the World: Deconstructed.
One last thing. When I said stuff about deconstruction, I also intend a Decon-Recon Switch
with the reconstruction being more important. For example, heroes have to deal with "Hydra Syndrome" in which it feels like they don't make any difference since its fighting an eternally regenerating hydra. A way to reconstruct based on that would be "every life saved is one less set of loved ones having to hear that said person didn't make it and that does make a difference", but is that adequete? Any more ideas on the reconstruction part of the narrative?
edited 7th Jun '13 1:59:13 PM by magnum12
In Justice We Trust!
You're supposed to give your feedback on whatever character was last posted before you start presenting your work, gent. I do have a question on what you posted to open with own critique, but obviously going to wait.
edited 3rd Apr '13 3:01:46 AM by Prime_of_Perfection