My Manga/Anime and Yours:

Total posts: [40]
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Currently, I've been putting a lot of development into a magical girl anime I would like to share.

However, I'd like to hear other people's stories or manga/anime that they at least tried to make. If there are, I'd like to hear!
2 FallenLegend8th Oct 2012 07:44:37 AM from Navel Of The Moon.
Craziest of all
I would like to hear your concept
Make your hearth shine through the darkest night; let it transform hate into kindness, evil into justice, and loneliness into love.
Mine is actually a little intense.

The setting takes place in a dystopian Neo Tokyo-ish world where girls who feel helpless or isolated are given crystals, allowing them to transform into magical girls. They can use these powers to improve their live, but they're alaways forced into hiding because there's an unknown organization whose job is to hunt down and kill magical girls.

The main character is a poor girl who is usually in a life of misery and isolation because of her overprotective mother and constant humiliation from the school's in-crowd leader. Though helpless herself, she wants to eradicate despair until the day she finds a crystal and becomes a magical girl. Now she's wanting to use these powers to fight the anti-magical organization and help other break from their isolation and despair.

edited 8th Oct '12 4:37:19 PM by WiseMan23753

[up] If by "intense" you mean trite and uninspired, then, yes, it is intense. Total losers gaining powers that turn them into heroes (or maybe desirable people?) is overdone and predictable, not intense. The conflict — that the "unknown organization" is suppressing them while having seemingly no motive to do so — is artificial.

Perhaps scrapping it and starting anew would be a more intense project than the one you're working on now.
5 danna4511th Oct 2012 04:29:29 AM from Wagnaria , Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
Owner of Dead End
[up]Well, in his defense, it IS only a concept idea. A lot of anime/manga sounds old and cliched in concept form.

Although, otherwise I kind of agree. "Neo-Tokyo" is a very cliched concept, and yeah, the whole "organization hunts magical girls" idea is bland and as you've said, 'artificial'.
"And you must be Jonathan Joestar!" - Sue

Well, that isn't hat I mean by intense. It actually isn't this until very later on the series. As a matter of fact, it's already very developed into something more.

For some examples, there are many themes found in here, especially in isolation a "wall" motif. The Anti-Magical Faction has seven commanders (excluding the main antagonist) that represent external forces of isolation ( the main antagonist represents the despair of the universe). They also represent enemies to fantasy, idealism, and hope itself. Each of the characters of this organization have different reasons (Some dislike how they use magic to solve problems easily rather than try to figure them out themselves, others find magic/fantasy to be a disgust to them, and others are worried their powers will destroy what is reality), they share a similar goal to exterminate magical girls, confiscate and/or destroy their weapons, and hide the truth about them from the public.

And it actually is VERY influenced from the way I made it. Two of which were Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann and Puella Magi Madoka Magica. The reason why is because of how the two are connected to Evangelion. Since TTGL is said to be the anti-EVA and PMMM the magical girl EVA, I found it neccesary to make (at least in some way) a magical girl anti-EVA or what I like to call a "Gurren Lagann of Puella Magi". Other influences include Utena, The Wall, Kannazuki No Miko, and Black Rock Shooter (The Game at least).
Sounds like a pretty cool concept. I'd totally read it.
8 FallenLegend11th Oct 2012 11:56:19 AM from Navel Of The Moon.
Craziest of all
Every person has a fantatic story to tell ! I am sure of that.

edited 11th Oct '12 11:59:34 AM by FallenLegend

Make your hearth shine through the darkest night; let it transform hate into kindness, evil into justice, and loneliness into love.
I CAN discuss more if anyone likes. Feel free to ask questions and I can tell more.
10 danna4512th Oct 2012 08:12:06 AM from Wagnaria , Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
Owner of Dead End
Go ahead. I've seen a few "Gurren Lagann of Madoka" story ideas, but this one seems slightly more developed than some others I've seen.
"And you must be Jonathan Joestar!" - Sue

Though it's seriously developed (from the title to charcters to plotline), I'm stil not sure where I should really start. As of now I could say that the story I'm developing is called Universal Lady Justice Aya or ULJA for short. I suggest asking about something for the story and I can go on from there.
Hilarious injoke
If you don't know where to start, write out a short outline of the entire thing. Detail each and every significant plot event from beginning to end and make sure that it provides a summary of the story. Any article for a book or movie on Wikipedia should have a good example of how to do so.

This makes it much easier to write the complete story.
If you find the text above offensive, don't look at it.
Alright I guess. However, since the anime is divided into five parts and don't want to post spoilers yet, I'll just do a beginning summary for each, folloing Aya's story. I'll tell the Commanders (though not the names) found in each of the parts as well. The setting mostly takes place at Arahikatime City (notice it's Mitakihara backwards), which is a Crapsack World city located on an island in between China and Japan with a mixture of Chinese, Japanese, American, and British people and culture.

Part I Magical Girl Aya: Aya Masa is a 14-15 freshman schoolgirl who faces preesure and despair from her mother's protectiveness and overraised and humiliation and bullying from her school's in-crowd leader. That is until she finds a small cylindrical crystal and a magical girl under attack by thugs serving the AMF (Anti-Magic Faction). Now a magical girl after the battle, she follows her mentor and tries to hide her new identity as she learns her powers and hopes to use them to help people and herself. Commanders: The Social

Part II Apprentice Lady Justice Aya: After getting through problems from school, though at the cost of revealing her identity and losing her mentor, Aya gains new allies and a more postive publicity from her school. She now focuses on controlling her publicity as she fights the AMF's new attacks that hopes to destroy their reputation nationwide. Meanwhile, an investigator is sent to look more into the war between the magiacl girls and the AMF. Commanders: The Economic, The Intellectual

Part III Lady Justice Aya: The battles have used massive riots due to collateral damage and the AMF take advantage of it by unofficially declaring martial law on the city. Aya and the other magical girls are now forced work to keep the people under control while also fighting the AMF's military forces. Commanders: The Physical, The Emotional

Part IV World Lady Justice Aya: World War III erupts with the AMF controlling most of the planet in waging war against the entire Asian continent to exterminate the magical girls. Another enemy known as Destroyers, magical girls who take advantage of their powers to do more evil than good, also emerges in the middle of the chaos. While Aya goes out to correct past mistakes and problems, the magical girls throughout Asia join with their non-magical girl allies to fight against the new threats. Commanders: The Intellectual, The Political

Part V Universal Lady Justice Aya: As Aya corects her problems, she becomes worried about her ever increasing powers as the war against the AMF expands to the stars. Now she hopes to wage one last fight against the AMF in order to save herself and for the fate of the universe. Commanders: The Religious, Main Antagonist

edited 13th Oct '12 4:54:59 AM by WiseMan23753

Certainly sounds like you've got some decent ideas going. Are you literally talking about trying to make this an anime though, or just an anime-like novel?

Also, spelling things backwards to make really blatant references is a peeve of mine, but that probably isn't relevant.
15 FallenLegend14th Oct 2012 03:48:05 PM from Navel Of The Moon.
Craziest of all
Sounds very inerestng!.

Do you have any artwork ready? I would like to see that.
Make your hearth shine through the darkest night; let it transform hate into kindness, evil into justice, and loneliness into love.

I'm trying to do a script as of now, while developing the characters and their pshysical appearance. Hopefully when I'm finihsed with the script (or at least a few of the first parts), it could turn into an anime.


Me and a few other people are already doing artwork for some of the characters as well as the equipment the AMF have. Should have that up soon.

I also have put up a huge cast for the anime, which is found here in this topic.

edited 16th Oct '12 1:15:37 AM by WiseMan23753

17 FallenLegend16th Oct 2012 09:43:26 AM from Navel Of The Moon.
Craziest of all
Souns great can I see the drawings? I am abig fan of this anima magical girl artwork smile
Make your hearth shine through the darkest night; let it transform hate into kindness, evil into justice, and loneliness into love.
I'll show what me and my frieds have as of now. Though I don't really have much shown on the internet.

Characters: Sketch for the main character, Aya Masa

Ashley Haylon. The first commander of the AMF fought (My friend named her Luka, but younger version of her will used for Ashley.)

Bernie Cooper the Economic. The second commander fought.

Designs: Magical girl outfit design

AMF robots for scouting magical users

Also, when I said about how this would be a Gurren Lagann of Madoka, I mostly mean that what Madoka had is what ULJA would havethe opposite of. For example, Madoka starts happy but takes a dramatic drop in mood as the story progresses while ULJA starts unhappy but gets much better at it progresses. And what Madoka severely deconstructs in the magical girl genre is what ULJA reconstructs. The main city is utopian is Madoka while ULJA's is dystopian. And so on.

edited 16th Oct '12 10:12:34 PM by WiseMan23753

Like I said in the other thread, I think it helps to be clear about what a reconstruction is. This looks a lot more like a return to the original trope, which is perfectly fine, it's just not a reconstruction.

Also I don't want to put a damper on your creativity or anything, but anime doesn't just happen. Manga is just about achievable, if you have the right skills, a lot of dedication, and access to some kind of publishing platform. Webcomics are the easiest because you get a wide distribution with no outlay and people aren't too picky about quality, the downside being you get no money. But even that is a massive commitment.

I mean as long as you're having fun it's all good but if you actually want this to be a thing for other people to enjoy you might be better off thinking in writing terms. Of course at this stage in the process I suppose it doesn't matter too much.
Well, it does have reconstruction in it. Just haven’t explained that yet. For those who don’t know deconstruction and reconstruction, I can explain.

Deconstruction is when you tear apart something like a trope or a theme, usually by showing it a negative or opposite light. This is a way how people show such a thing as poorly thought out.

For example, Madoka Magica deconstructs the Magical Girl Warrior in the following ways:

  • The girl is little more than a Child Soldier (Simply the magical girls)
  • She doesn’t know if her Mentor Mascot is telling the truth (Kyubey)
  • The villains are more of Well-Intentioned Extremists. (Witches and Kyubey)
  • She is cut off from the ordinary world so much she becomes unstable. (Again, the magical girls)

Reconstruction (my favorite trope) is when you put the trope or theme back together in a postive light, but in a way that accepts the criticism of the deconstruction. Think of it as a smarter and stronger version of it.

In this case, my anime ULJA would reconstruct the above trope that Madoka reconstructed in the following ways (you’ll have to look back to the link to my cast for this):

  • Magical Girls are more of freelance-like rebels and much more than just Child Soliders (Magical girls such as Kirsten, who is also an Idol Singer)
  • The Mentor Mascot has or had a previous or overtime-developing trust with magical girls that allow them to tell the truth the best they can (Though Aya’s pet doesn’t become a mentor until Part II, their long friendship makes her tell everything the best she can and Aya is sure to trust her.)
  • Though some may be Well-Intentioned Extremists, the villains may use it as a fascade for their real intentions, and even if that's not the case, their cause and/or methods still may not be friendly (found all over the place with the AMF
  • The girls have a way to balance their duty as normal and magical girls. Or the magical world IS the ordinary world. (Aya makes this balance in Part I and II. And after that, the ordinary world DOES get involved in their war against the AMF.)

Hope I explained this in a way that makes sense. And there will be more of this reconstruction than just this.


And yeah, it's not an anine YET. It's just a play-like script that may become a future anime. As long as it's very good and catches interest that is. Other than like you said, it's mostly something for fun as of now.

edited 19th Oct '12 12:26:40 AM by WiseMan23753

Fair enough. I'm not sure I entirely agree with your assessment of what the deconstructive elements of Madoka were and how to answer the criticisms, but you clearly understand what a reconstruction is so that's reassuring.

Well, I do know several that DOES deconstruct such as the Magical Girl Warrior, Deal with the Devil (sort of) and Power of Love. Though I still don't think I have all of them. But do have my anime set up to be ready to fit in the Reconstruction of Madoka's other deconstructive elements I have missed.

In addition, I may also add in some other reconstructive elements such as one for the Power of Friendship. Even though that is subverted in Madoka, I still may want do some kind of deconstruction and reconstruction to that tropes as well.

edited 21st Oct '12 4:17:05 AM by WiseMan23753


Also forgot another one part of Magical Girl Warrior that Madoka deconstructs whereas reconstructed by my anime. In Madoka, the battles the magical girls fight are very dangerous and sometimes traumatizing. Though it is so in ULJA against the AMF, the magical girls often go in groups and/or with an experienced girl until they are capable of handling the fights themselves.

By the way, which of the deconstructive elements of Madoka and reconstructive lements of ULJA do you not agree with?
Okay now, I think I have a good view of the deconstructed tropes and at least most of the counters. Not sure how good they are though. Again, you may have to look at my cast link for some of it.

  • Selfless Wish: PMMM) There is no thing as a selfless wish, every wish has some sort of selfish motive. ULJA) A selfless doing CAN be a selfish motive. One may want to selfishly see a person happy than anyone else and as long as that person is happy, s/he is happy too.
  • With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility: PMMM) Some may use the power just for perks. Those who takes responsibility pay a mental and emotional toll. ULJA) Recklessness can still get you in trouble and may make you a villain for abusing the system. And as long as you have friends, holding such a responsible role is okay or maybe better.
  • I Just Want to Be Special: PMMM) Madoka doesn't need to be special since already has a good life. She can't think of a wish and only wants to be fulfilled. ULJA) Aya lives in Crapsack World and she and her family has lived currently a miserable life themselves. She wants to be special to help others and her family get around their problems to fulfill herself and find a place in the world.
  • Monster of the Week: PMMM) Shows how horrifying the monsters can be I'm all levels. ULJA) The magical girls have some way to overcome this fear AMD are trained/used to fighting at all levels.
  • Power of Love, Love Martyr: PMMM) Love involves some selfishness at least. Sayaka's loved one, Kyouske, does not accept her feelings. ULJA) Miki finds another love when she loses her first one, who truly accepts her feelings and sacrifice. Magical Girls may also love more than one person (a group of people, a family, or even a country).
  • "I Know You're in There Somewhere" Fight: PMMM) The magical girls have no way to change Witches back and Kyoko dies an unnecessary sacrifice. ULJA) One of the magical girls accept it's too late to save her friend and goes to full power in the end, yet she carries on their past memories and good spirit. Aya also tries to understand her friends during the fight and has some way to change them back by learning the cause of their Face–Heel Turn.

For Reset Button Ending, I have n ending already, but still need to make it n a way that reconstructs this. Other than that, how's this?

edited 31st Oct '12 8:24:37 PM by WiseMan23753

25 FallenLegend31st Oct 2012 08:38:43 PM from Navel Of The Moon.
Craziest of all
I don't agree that love is selfish. the entire nature of love is that love is selfless.

That's one theme I disagreed with Madoka. It would be awesome if you showed that love isn't "selfish"
Make your hearth shine through the darkest night; let it transform hate into kindness, evil into justice, and loneliness into love.

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