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ParadoxialStratagem The Eccentric Electric from On Melancholy Hill Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Hiding
The Eccentric Electric
#1001: Jul 3rd 2014 at 9:15:38 AM

That sounds...pretty greasy.

coolYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH -Is promptly groin-kicked for overused meme.-

edited 3rd Jul '14 9:16:01 AM by ParadoxialStratagem

Living The Fever Dream
ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#1002: Jul 3rd 2014 at 9:31:45 AM

A man gets to Heaven and finds his way to the line to the Pearly Gates. As he gets closer to St. Peter, he sees the Devil standing off to the side, tossing away the rejects, after smelling them. Occasionally, the Devil smells someone, and throws them into a pile along with countless others. Intrigued by this odd behavior, he decides that he'll ask about it once he gets closer. He eventually makes it to the front of the line, and after being accepted into Heaven, asks St. Peter for just a second to ask his query. He goes over to the Devil and asks "So, not to be rude, but what's with this?" while motioning to the pile of people off to the side. the Devil replies "OH, THEY'RE SEATTLEITES AND TOO WET TO BURN RIGHT AWAY!"

edited 3rd Jul '14 9:31:55 AM by ImmortalFaust

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
Noaqiyeum Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they) from the gentle and welcoming dark (Time Abyss) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
#1003: Jul 4th 2014 at 2:49:53 PM

"When the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again."

The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
BaconManiac5000 Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
#1004: Jul 4th 2014 at 3:12:14 PM

[up][lol]

That's happened to me so many times I lost track.

what do you mean I didn't win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else
TheMike Bo "Jangles" Wyatt Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Bo "Jangles" Wyatt
#1005: Jul 4th 2014 at 9:35:28 PM

This is why you look at the entry side of the USB before, y'know, entering it. tongue

edited 4th Jul '14 9:35:34 PM by TheMike

In the backyard, buried deep underneath the tree There's a monster, takin' root in the property...
Catfish42 Bloody Fossil from world´s favourite country. Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: I'm just high on the world
Bloody Fossil
#1006: Jul 5th 2014 at 8:57:04 AM

And as a rule of thumb, the side with the logo on it is up.

A different shape every step I take A different mind every step of the line
ArsThaumaturgis Since: Nov, 2011 Relationship Status: I've been dreaming of True Love's Kiss
BestOf FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC! from Finland Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: Falling within your bell curve
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC!
#1008: Jul 5th 2014 at 9:25:39 AM

Generally speaking, a USB plug will go in the same way as you first try it - but only if you also try it the other way around. There's some shenanigans with extra dimensions there.

Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
Noaqiyeum Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they) from the gentle and welcoming dark (Time Abyss) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
#1009: Jul 5th 2014 at 12:05:17 PM

All of this could be avoided simply by making the shape of the plug visibly asymmetric.

The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
BaconManiac5000 Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
#1010: Jul 5th 2014 at 12:10:53 PM

Indeed.

what do you mean I didn't win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else
BaconManiac5000 Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
#1011: Jul 5th 2014 at 2:12:24 PM

A clergyman encounters a prostitute, she says "I'll do anything you can describe in 3 words for $50". He thinks about it for a while, and then says "Paint my house."

what do you mean I didn't win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else
TheMike Bo "Jangles" Wyatt Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Bo "Jangles" Wyatt
#1012: Jul 5th 2014 at 3:46:45 PM

Three statisticians were out hunting together. After a while, they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician aims and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots.

The third shouts "All right, we got it!"

In the backyard, buried deep underneath the tree There's a monster, takin' root in the property...
ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#1013: Jul 5th 2014 at 4:00:06 PM

Squick warning

A man walks into a pub, orders, and is waiting for his food. it's taking a while, so he's looking around and generally peoplewatching. He notices a man who's just sitting there with a steaming hot bowl of soup in front of him, not eating it. He goes over and asks if he could have it, seeing as they guy wasn't eating it. the guy with the soup just pushes it over, and the first guy tucks in. about half way through the guy hits something with his spoon, and when he picks it out, it's a dead mouse. The guy immediately throws it all up back into the soup bowl. the second guy leans over and says "Yeah, that's about where I got, too!"

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
TheMike Bo "Jangles" Wyatt Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Bo "Jangles" Wyatt
#1014: Jul 5th 2014 at 4:58:29 PM

What do you get when you cross a mountain goat and a tsetse fly?

Nothing! Everyone knows you can't cross a scalar and a vector!

In the backyard, buried deep underneath the tree There's a monster, takin' root in the property...
ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#1015: Jul 5th 2014 at 5:38:05 PM

[up]beautiful.

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
TheMike Bo "Jangles" Wyatt Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Bo "Jangles" Wyatt
#1016: Jul 5th 2014 at 6:36:50 PM

[up]You have no idea how glad I am that someone got the entirety of that joke.

In the backyard, buried deep underneath the tree There's a monster, takin' root in the property...
ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#1017: Jul 5th 2014 at 6:39:36 PM

That's how I feel about physics jokes.

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
ArsThaumaturgis Since: Nov, 2011 Relationship Status: I've been dreaming of True Love's Kiss
#1018: Jul 5th 2014 at 6:56:58 PM

[up][up] I think that you got it on the dot—clearly the product of a mathematical upbringing. :P

(Which is to say: well done! :D)

My Games & Writing
BaconManiac5000 Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
#1019: Jul 5th 2014 at 7:03:46 PM

I don't get the vector correlation.

what do you mean I didn't win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else
MasterInferno It's Like Arguing on the Internet from Tomb of Malevolence Since: Dec, 2009 Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
It's Like Arguing on the Internet
#1020: Jul 5th 2014 at 7:05:03 PM

[up]A vector can mean something that spreads an infection.

Somehow you know that the time is right.
Noaqiyeum Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they) from the gentle and welcoming dark (Time Abyss) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
#1021: Jul 5th 2014 at 7:07:20 PM

[up][up][up] S ("Things I have seen") ∋ "What you did there"

edited 5th Jul '14 7:07:29 PM by Noaqiyeum

The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
BaconManiac5000 Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
#1022: Jul 5th 2014 at 7:13:46 PM

[up][up]Oh wow. That's really funny now.

what do you mean I didn't win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else
TheMike Bo "Jangles" Wyatt Since: Jan, 2011 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Bo "Jangles" Wyatt
#1023: Jul 6th 2014 at 12:13:54 PM

I'm guessing you also know what the expected answer is that the joke subverted from, right Bacon?

edited 6th Jul '14 12:14:25 PM by TheMike

In the backyard, buried deep underneath the tree There's a monster, takin' root in the property...
OmegaShadowcry Spooky Scary Boneheaded Man from The Arena Since: Mar, 2013 Relationship Status: Gay for Big Boss
Spooky Scary Boneheaded Man
#1024: Jul 10th 2014 at 11:27:15 PM

What do you get when you mix a bowl of cream tuna and an ice cream truck?

A big ol' mess, that's what.

"The Stick has sentimental value. It's like an enormous, hideous teddy bear we can kill things with." -rikalous
MorwenEdhelwen Aussie Tolkien freak from Sydney, Australia Since: Jul, 2012
Aussie Tolkien freak
#1025: Jul 24th 2014 at 11:53:28 PM

grin[up]

The road goes ever on. -Tolkien

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