The Harry Potter Fanfiction Thread

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. First mathematician asks for a beer. Second asks for half a beer. Third asks for a quarter of a beer. The bartender stops them there, plunks down two beers, and tells them they need to learn their limit.

Bellatrix refers to it as a "Muggle dunghill" and (near two decades after Snape left school, admittedly) it's run-down with broken streetlights and so forth.

Since Snape's a halfblood, I figure he should have a basic grasp of what Muggle clothes look like. (Okay, since magicals are surrounded by Muggles they should all have a basic grasp of what Muggle clothes look like.)

That was excellent.

In the movies, they do.

Snape is probably a slumdog potionnaire.

Well, Sirius being an asshole to Kreacher was one of many things that resulted in his death.

I found a pretty neat Parody of Super!Harry fanfics and bad crossovers.

I dunno. I think it's too random and 'wacky'. AKA, it's trying too hard.

I suppose it is a little. But I like it for the crossover aspect, most parody fics tend to forget about the ludicrous power-ups given freely by crossover characters.

For God's sake, since when is there such a thing as trying too hard? How in the world is trying hard grounds for criticism?

Because comedy requires a level of subtlety for success. Pushing too hard can hurt you just as much.

Ah, that counts as "not trying hard enough" in my book. "You are clumsy, unsubtle, and lack discipline!"

Humor is a very serious art form.

edited 21st Dec '14 5:37:23 AM by TheHandle

Eh, I got a chuckle out of it.

Not trying hard enough would have the fic be lacking rather than having an overabundance.

It got a chuckle out of me, too.

Iunno. Not a writing style I appreciate. Too on-the-nose, maybe. It looked like "this is a list of things in these terrible stories" and not much else. Harry Potter and the Something Something did it better.

edited 22nd Dec '14 10:05:07 PM by Pannic

Speaking about stupid ideas...

Harry has detention with Snape, but then something comes up and Snape has to leave Harry alone. Deciding to get back at the 'greasy git', Harry rummages through his stuff to see if he can find something to blackmail Snape with.

Cue Harry discovering Snape's stash of Draco/Harry slash fanfic, revealing it to the public, and then embarking on a quest to discover just how ridiculously disturbing the fanfiction about the Boy Who Lived stories that his classmates have written is.

edited 25th Dec '14 3:32:05 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

...Did Snape write those? If not, where did he get them? And if so...why?

Who knows?

Harry just wants to die after he reads them.

He might have confiscated them from a student?

Actually, that's good.

I can totally see Snape falling for the misunderstanding. He didn't write those, he doesn't approve of them and he's just as horrified as Harry... The problem is that nobody's buying it.

They were written by Hermione.

And Malfoy thinks it's all a plot by fucking Potter to humiliate him, and starts hatching his own schemes to get back at him and/or restore the damage to his own reputation.

Which only serves to paint him as a Tsundere in denial, of course.

plot twist: they go out at the end to Grease's "You're the One that I Want".

Idea: Harry Potter meets The Wire. Harry is an Auror, and he's hunting Dark Wizards... 'E's a war hero, right, but nobody needs a war hero, not anymore. He's hunting for his Dark Wizards, and the hunt is long, cautious, and meticulous. The Wizards... they play a Game of their own, and it ain't Quidditch.

My headcannon is that he ended up as Headmaster of Hogwarts.

No way, that's Hermione's gig, yo!

Hermione Granger, and her wife, Ron Granger.