edited 28th May '12 1:52:15 PM by jackpollock
edited 28th May '12 1:53:26 PM by KillerClowns
"Give it back," he pleaded, "it's mine."
"Don't be such a fool, Jekyll," Utterson said. In these sentences, shouted, pleaded, and said are verbs of dialogue attribution. Now look at these dubious revisions: "Put it down!" she shouted menacingly.
"Give it back," he pleaded abjectly, "it's mine."
"Don't be such a fool, Jekyll," Utterson said contemptuously. The three latter sentences are all weaker than the three former ones, and most readers will see why immediately. "Don't be such a fool, Jekyll," Utterson said contemptuously is the best of the lot; it is only a cliche, while the other two are actively ludicrous. Some writers try to evade the no-adverb rule by shooting the attribution verb full of steroids. The result is familiar to any reader of pulp fiction or paperback originals: "Put down the gun, Utterson!" Jekyll grated.
"Never stop kissing me!" Shayna gasped.
"You damned tease!" Bill jerked out. Don't do these things. Please oh please. The best form of dialogue attribution is said, as in he said, she said, Bill said, Monica said. If you want to see this stringently put into practice, I urge to read or reread a novel by Larry Mc Murtry, the Shane of dialogue attribution. That looks damned snide on the page, but I'm speaking with complete sincerity. Mc Murtry has allowed few adverbial dandelions to grow on his lawn. He believes in he-said/she-said even in moments of emotional crisis (and in Larry Mc Murtry novels there are a lot of those). Go and do thou likewise.
edited 28th May '12 2:55:33 PM by jackpollock
edited 28th May '12 4:02:37 PM by Kesteven
edited 28th May '12 4:21:43 PM by Kesteven
edited 28th May '12 5:18:31 PM by jackpollock
edited 28th May '12 5:41:43 PM by FallenLegend
edited 28th May '12 6:10:45 PM by Tre