A good cry is justified if it comes with a box of chocolates. And... maybe a trip to Prometheus, as well. Uh... maybe chocolate is not a good mix with that, though.

You don't have to force yourself to 'man up', if you can't find other ways to cope in the shorter term. Rehashing might be something to think about a little longer down the line, when you have some perspective.

Short term? CHOCOLATE! And, maybe some good whiskey. Not paint-stripper: treat yourself. Oh, and a good immersion-style game always helps. Yeah: escapism. Used for centuries, 'cos it works to give time for perspective to settle in.

edited 19th Jun '12 2:52:07 PM by Euodiachloris

This is the main issue I have with the phrase. Women are expected to take as long as possible with any hit (not just break-ups), cry forever and indulge in junk food, while men are told to stop being pathetic. I can't see how that's fair.

If you want we can all start telling women to get over themselves and stop being pathetic.

I didn't blame my ex like that though, she seriously loved me, and I'm the one who broke it off. I can see how it hurt her so badly, so it was deserved.

Up until about two months later when she started staring at me with pure hatred. I've had friendlier looks from Al Qaeda prisoners.

It's not. Women shouldn't be treated like delicate flowers that are crushed at every setback. It just propagates the stereotype that women are weak-willed and whiny.

I fully support telling women to get over it and move on. Is the world ending? No? Then stop acting like it is.

edited 19th Jun '12 3:01:34 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

I'm a great believer that chocolate is unisex. As is beating up a bunch of orcs. I'll also settle for Nazis, zombies or head-crabs.

After you've got most of it out the system, you can then move on. But, you need to get to that point, first.

edited 19th Jun '12 3:03:26 PM by Euodiachloris

That's part of the process. The problem is when people don't do the "acceptance" part.

edited 19th Jun '12 3:04:50 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

I tend to fail at the bargaining stage and skip to acceptance, but with the depression thrown in. But, then... I'm weird. I tend to think that if bargaining could have helped, it'd be before you get to the break-up.

And, if it's something like bereavement: there is no bargaining with the past. Although, you might be able to niggle with the cousins over Gran's silver.

edited 19th Jun '12 3:16:05 PM by Euodiachloris

I usually go on a drunken bender for about a week, then take a day or two to sober up and lay in a bathtub, then after that I'm good to go. I guess you could say I compress all that negativity into a shorter period.

I cry. A lot. Then I begin praying to Guanyin if I deem it a problem of sufficient enough weight. While whining mentally about how unfair it is.

And then I clean. A lot.

Or pack.

Or cook. Or meditate.

I more or less refuse to let myself be idle.

Then once more calm I think about it and let it by.

edited 19th Jun '12 3:16:46 PM by Aondeug

I jump straight to the acceptance stage. -shrugs-

For some time, at the end of high school and the beginning of college, I was a bit into cacti. Whenever I had some big setback that got me down, I bought a new cactus.

It was stupid, but it honestly cheered me up. Hey, I never pretended that I make sense

edited 19th Jun '12 3:40:06 PM by Carciofus

Well, it'd certainly make me think twice about picking a fight with you in your rooms, Carc. Never fight with a guy who has a backup of prickles handy. Just in case.

Heh, like I would have risked hurting my plants like that. But in any case, some sort of parasitic mite somehow managed to get on my cacti and kill them all off...

Oh well, that's life, I suppose

I've never once broken up with a girl-always the other way around <_<

Was the other way around. I deserved it. But we got back together and are working through things.

I've been both the dumped and the dumper. Neither side is a pretty picture.

edited 19th Jun '12 3:59:47 PM by Euodiachloris

I've...got no experience where this is concerned. I've been rejected, yes, but I've never dealt with a breakup. (Probably because I've never been in a relationship.)

Have to? Absolutely not. But I've saved myself a lot of misery by convincing myself to just drop it and not re-examine the situation again today. I'd just feel like shit for no reason. I'm actually in a pretty good mood right now, but if I hadn't just moved on earlier, I would have gone to a friend, had the exact same conversation I had the night of the break-up, and the wound would be raw again. Instead, I got some cooking done and played a video game, and I'm kinda cheerful right now.

And maybe rehashing will be useful down the line (though I doubt it), but that just goes back to my point that right now there's nothing to gain by doing anything than straightening up and moving on.

edited 19th Jun '12 5:29:59 PM by Vericrat

Vidjagames: underrated things when it comes to the healing process. <thumbs up> Sure, some people go on about the violence breeding violence. Meh: it's how you use 'em that counts.

My only romantic relationship I've ever had pretty much ended the exact same way as Vericrat and Barkey, except I don't even think she even still liked me anymore by the end but was too socially stunted to say anything about it. It took me almost a month to muster up the courage to cut it off, and while I felt a very fleeting feeling of satisfaction after I did it, I still am not sure I'm completely over it. But, then, I suppose you never fully get over a person. Learning experiences, everything is one.

edited 20th Jun '12 12:03:44 AM by 0dd1