I can't count the number of times I read a post in a forum or hear someone say something that sounds suspiciously like whining. It usually goes something like:
- "I guess I'm not good enough because..."
- "I hate myself because..."
- "Nobody likes me because..."
And as much as I'll feel like a dick, I almost never care about what follows that "because". I can't stand self-pity. I want to say, "Get over it. You're not good enough, and nobody likes you, not because of X, but because you bitch about it." This is obviously not a productive way of handling things, or helping people better themselves.
Still, I think there comes a time to tell people to "Man up." Not every situation needs be dealt with like this, and that's what this thread is about.
Some people were bullied as kids. Some people were poor. Some people were born disfavored minorities. Some people are born with asthma. Some people are born to shitty parents. Some people lack intelligence. Some people aren't good-looking. Some people don't have a good sense of humor. Some people are shy.
To me, if we can do something about the root causes of something that causes people distress, we should. So if we could cure asthma, that'd be great. We need to get rid of racism. People should be good parents, or not parents at all.
But the reason I pointed those things out is that every single one of us has disadvantages. The people who are fun to be around and the people who are productive are the ones who work past them. Some people can do this on their own. Some people have such large issues they need professional help. But I've never thought just sitting around whining about something, even something you can't help, was going to fix the situation.
There are obviously situations where you wouldn't say this. If someone says, "I'm feeling down about that time I was raped a few years back," you probably shouldn't say this. But is the division only with psychologically scarring events? Does it always apply to all such events?
When do you think it's appropriate to tell someone to "Man up"?
Much to my BFF's wife's chagrin, No Pants 2013 became No Pants 2010's at his house.