Well, this is a form of cyber bullying, basically. A minor one, perhaps, but still.

edited 11th Apr '12 1:47:29 PM by Carciofus

It's bullying, period. It needs to be dealt with in the larger context of such things.

So it's pretty much the guys version of a burn book; no big deal. If they were smart, they wouldn't of committed any of the info to the internet.

They're teenagers. Those aren't known for their farsightedness. Not to mention that if the folks who listed them knew them in real life (say, a pissed-off ex-boyfriend, or a school bully), all the Internet-savvy in the world wouldn't have protected them. Blaming the victim is seldom the answer - it's the entitled, misogynistic little fuckups who compile these lists who are the problem here.

As for how bad this is, public shaming can make you the target for all sorts of horrible shit, especially if you're a woman. I've heard the testimonies, and it's hard to imagine for us guys just how bad the tirades of abuse can get. We're talking about, like, hundreds of rape and death threats as a conservative guess, and if those chuckleheads know where they live as well... you can see where I'm going with this.

edited 11th Apr '12 3:29:11 PM by Iaculus

If you think the list causes actual damages to someone, it's time to sue. Most places have laws against defamation.

Otherwise, who cares? People have the right to express their opinion. If I sleep with a girl, then two nights later, my friend does, and two nights later my other friend does, and another friend of mine asks if I know anyone who is easy to get into bed, I'm gonna give her name. I think making a list and passing it around is sort of douche-y but lots of opinion expression is annoying or offensive. If I want to express my opinion that Hinduism is evil, that might be offensive to Hindus. I still should have the right to do so. And if someone wants to express the opinion that a girl is a slut, yeah, it's mean-spirited, but if your reputation is damaged (and it's not true) there is a remedy, and otherwise, live with it. Not everyone is gonna have a good opinion of you.

Note, the case in the OP is a thirteen year old girl.

Now, that case turned out to not be about these lists, but I'm sure that there are high schools who would be capable of this sort of thing.

edited 11th Apr '12 5:50:20 PM by LoniJay

Holy crap, 30 posts already.

Anyway...

I meant 'bad' in the sense of 'bad for you' - as in, how much will it hurt you in various ways. I was originally going to go with 'how screwed are you if you appear on one', then realised that that would be a very poor choice of words in this context... This is also why I used 'evil' in the OP: to distinguish between 'morally wrong' and 'bad for you'.

Also, I think I need to clarify something; I've seen a lot of people in this thread suggest innovative counter-measures against the boys who make the lists. This would be quite hard, because of the simple fact that the makers tend to remain anonymous. So for anything that specifically targets the makers, you'll have to find out who they are first...

This is particularly horrifying when you consider than anyone who's enough of an asshole to support the existence of such a list is probably also enough of an asshole to support the "sluts have rape coming to them" idea. So this is basically a list of middle school girls to rape.

W...T...F?

Being an asshole doesn't automatically make you a rapist. It doesn't even bring you close to that. The guys who write these lists are dicks in that they don't care about the feelings or reputations of the girls on the list. Interestingly enough, that is not the mindset necessary to physically violate someone.

You don't have to be a rapist to be a rape-supporter. I'd say that all kinds of misogyny beget all kinds of misogyny.

edited 11th Apr '12 6:24:36 PM by PDown

Guys, let's not talk about rape.

And I'm saying that because if I don't, a moderator will, soon.

Overly ninja'd.

edited 11th Apr '12 6:32:11 PM by Ultrayellow

Yeah, of all the rerails likely to end a thread quick, that'd be one of the faster ones.

I like Carciofus' suggestion, of large groups of students deliberately adding their names to these lists in order to weaken them. Solidarity is a powerful weapon.

Anyone who goes around telling other people which girls may or may not be easy to bed is an asshole. Period.

It's clearly harassment.

Depends how you go about it.

Joey, you're defending the indefensible again. Stop it.

^^^Hmm, I guess that makes the majority of us assholes.

Find better friends, Kino.

No seriously Iaculus, it's depends on how you go about it. Discreetly infomating a lonely single friend of yours that 'sally from accounting' is up for some no strings attracted good times is not the same as posting 'SLUT' on her facebook.

And what do you mean by 'again'?

edited 12th Apr '12 6:28:29 AM by joeyjojo

But if you go around saying that to everyone, then Sally's got a case against you. (In a figurative sense. I don't know if she would legally, since there'd be no real proof of anything.)

I'm gonna back up Joey a bit in that, while this behavior is bad, I don't think it's as uproar-worthy as it's being treated. It's not much different than the name-calling and gossip that's been around forever.

edited 12th Apr '12 7:34:10 AM by RTaco

In general - this specific case I'm not sure - I like vijeno's idea on how to handle bullies, cyber or otherwise: have a police officer sweat them for a while and explain just why such behavior is unacceptable, and continuing that kind of thing as an adult is likely to have legal repercussions. For example, one of my little brothers was named as a bully in a parental complaint to one of the local police officers in the small town my parents live in. He was among three other kids who had said things to the kid being "bullied." In my eyes it was nothing very bad, and my brother was really just rolled in with the others out of association. Either way, the police officer called the house and talked first to my mother, and then to my little brother. My brother got the point pretty quickly and won't make the same mistake again. No legal shit, nothing on anyone's record, just a concerned police officer making a firm-but-friendly call solved the problem, at least as far as my brother is concerned.

Yep, anyone who tells everyone how his girlfriend is in bed is an asshole and not mature enough to even have a girlfriend.

But isn't that sort of thing...personal? And telling things like that behind your girlfriend's back is just insanely rude and immature.

edited 12th Apr '12 8:24:11 AM by maybesomeone

This might be news for you, but sometimes adults discuss their sex lives with each other.

It depends on how private your girlfriend is about her sex life. As far as anecdotes about casual hook-ups, I don't see a problem with telling those to friends. I always assume the girl goes home and talks to her friends anyway. In fact sometimes I've heard the proof from the friends later on.

Guys, this isn't about adults talking about their casual hookups. This is about teenagers bullying each other with completely made-up lists.