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Juan's really silly story about time travel and in general sucky prose:

Faith in the self.
So, basically, after a long night of boredom, slacking and dares by a good ol troper friend of mine (Melloncollie), I decided to write and explore an idea I've had for a while and thought that it could be posted here as well as in my tumblr and in other places where people whose opinions I'm interested in might read it.

I'm interested in hearing your thoughts, but I'm going to say right away that an important part of what I'm doing is that there're no editions. Maybe when it's all finished, I'll pull it all together and polish it here and there, if it ever does get finished, but...yeah, no editing.

“I really could do with something resembling sleep”, thought Harris to himself as he meekly stirred his coffee. He had slept for only two hours. He had spent the other three hours of his assigned rest period staring at the roof and wondering if there was a point to his work and life, while trying to reminisce what motivated him to even consider joining the force.
“I was just a stupid kid, wasn’t I?”, he muttered as he drank the coffee. He promptly noticed that the coffee needed sugar and made a crack about his bitterness being contagious to an audience of himself. “Nah, it wasn’t just ‘being a stupid kid’. I was naive, yes, but…well, what else was I supposed to do? All I ever wanted to do was work in the Force and I never learned or was mentally prepared to do anything else but…well, this.”
As he slowly stood up, he couldn’t help but crack a sad smile at the thought of him being mentally prepared for this. Sure, he desired it, he thought, but he did not realize that living like this, the way the Force demands you to live, it takes a mental and spiritual toll, not to mention physical. He was making a sacrifice in the name of other people’s safeties, but they probably wouldn’t know who he is, even if he died on duty. He’s just another man, doing the job that maintains other people’s realities safe.
He got ready for the long day awaiting him the same way he got ready for every day. He wondered if this was a sign that he was becoming part of the loop. He wondered what it would be like, to be stuck in that endless loop of time he monitored carefully and so gingerly.
Especially in his case, being aware of it, but unable to move outside of his routine. He at first thought that this was what was happening to him and that it was just a manner of time before he became a living vegetable man. Then he rationalized that him realising this, and that the fact that he was allowed some leniency in his ways of patrolling and investigating kept that from happening.
“Sll that matters”, he thought to himself as he got on the elevator to the lobby, “Is that I finish this goddamn job and I get home sooner rather than later”
As Harris walked out, he approached the security guard at the door.
“Hey, um…can’t quite remember your name, mate, sorry”. Harris felt very awkward because of this as he thought it demonstrated that maybe he wasn’t looking at his turf as carefully as he should have
“Eugene, sir”
“Oh, Eugene, gotcha. Can you do me a favour and keep this package here, please?”
“Sure will, sir”
“Thank you kindly, friend”
As he walked out, he realized that he had forgotten something important.
“Eugene, a friend of mine will come for that package today.” Harris made a note to kick himself however he could for forgetting little important things like this that made him feel even more awkward when it came to deal with people, especially without feeling like blowing his cover
“Fair enough, sir. I’ll sit on it ‘till they come for it. Name of the picker?”
“Litton”
“Thank you, sir”
Harris walked away from the building and wondered whether he should retake the package and run away, before he was ever found. But he knew that he would be found. His job easily made him stand across the world. It helped a lot that the Force can find him anywhere or anywhen he leaves to.
"My life is my own" | If you want to contact me privately, please ask first on the forum.
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