Worrying about whether you have a pretentious and ungeniune description of love seems...a little backwards. It's not a hard thing to accomplish, as you can write down pretty much any description you want and it'll probably be pretentious and ungeniune.
Nous restons ici.You old enough to drink? Your choice of "find a bar and people-watch" or "buy some vodka and start brainstorming."
My half-joking aside, the declaration should be about the declarer himself as much as the woman. Something about how he finally found a woman worthy of himself, or of how she'll make a great wife to care for him and his children, or of how he alone is good enough for a woman such as her.
Well, I get what you two are saying, but while people who are genuinely in love can come off as pretentious, their intent is genuine. The character in question isn't really in love.
@Killer Clowns, that's pretty good, actually. Thanks.
edited 24th Mar '12 9:53:17 AM by DoktorFylthe
Make it more about physical beauty than anything deep or cerebral. It's easy for a man to love someone's body, but most people agree that real love is about appreciating their mind too. So if you focus almost entirely on looks in describing his emotions, it will insinuate that he's only attracted to her superficially.
I've returned from the depths to continue politely irritating the good people of TV Tropes.(◕‿◕✿)
In my story there's three characters; the female lead, the male lead (The Baxter) and the baxter's rival, the handsome lech-ish bad boy who is the female lead.
I want the handsome lech to describe how he feels about his love interest, but for his description to fall flat and be about empty passion.
So far I've got this,
"You know how it is with women. The ones you can’t get out your head, even if you wanted to. You’re walking down the street, catch the scent of someone’s perfume, or hell, a bagel, and then you remember them, you’re dizzy and feel like you can’t walk straight. You know what’s that like, don’t you?”" "No."