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DARPA's Closer than ever to Man-hunting Capable Robot Cheetah

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MyGodItsFullofStars Since: Feb, 2011
#1: Mar 5th 2012 at 6:34:36 PM

http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/05/10584819-robo-cheetah-sets-speed-record

DARPA has recently unveiled a robot capable of running down a man. Yes, I said RUNNING. Combine this with DARPA's other robot pet projects, a robot that can "eat" organics to power its fuel cells, and a machine brain the size of a cat's brain that is as smart as a cat (seriously, the DARPA challenge specifically mentions "cat" as its qualifier, both for intelligence level and size), there is only one terrible conclusion that can be made:

DARPA is hard at work perfecting cheetah-themed "hunter-killer" robots that feast on human flesh and know no fear nor remorse and cannot be stopped unless destroyed.

Or they simply see these projects as necessary for stopping the Chtorr.

BestOf FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC! from Finland Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: Falling within your bell curve
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC!
#2: Mar 5th 2012 at 6:38:01 PM

I was gonna tell you to take it to the military thread, but this is just too weird and awesome not to have a thread of its own.

I mean, damn.

edited 5th Mar '12 6:38:16 PM by BestOf

Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
Raikage Just chillin' Since: Aug, 2009
Just chillin'
#3: Mar 5th 2012 at 6:40:39 PM

This begs only one question. WHY?!

Zersk o-o from Columbia District, BNA Since: May, 2010
o-o
#4: Mar 5th 2012 at 6:43:33 PM

Holy Seleucid. :o That's kind of cool!

ᐅᖃᐅᓯᖅ ᐊᑕᐅᓯᖅ ᓈᒻᒪᔪᐃᑦᑐᖅ
TheStarshipMaxima NCC - 1701 Since: Jun, 2009
NCC - 1701
#5: Mar 5th 2012 at 6:45:28 PM

Yeah, it's all cool till they discover morphing and time travel abilities.

It was an honor
AceofSpades Since: Apr, 2009 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
#6: Mar 5th 2012 at 6:54:57 PM

I'm kind of curious about what kind humanitarian efforts they'd use a robot cheetah for. And... why? Just why? This is some crazy military spending. >,< Still pretty cool though. I'll admit I pretty quickly thought of Cheetor from Transformers: Beast Wars.

DrunkGirlfriend from Castle Geekhaven Since: Jan, 2011
#7: Mar 5th 2012 at 6:55:53 PM

I wonder how well it'll do against uneven terrain.

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian
Zersk o-o from Columbia District, BNA Since: May, 2010
o-o
#8: Mar 5th 2012 at 6:58:42 PM

Drunky: Yeah, that was one of my first thoughts. :o Well, it's still being developed. Maybe they'll mix this with the Big Dog?

edited 5th Mar '12 6:58:50 PM by Zersk

ᐅᖃᐅᓯᖅ ᐊᑕᐅᓯᖅ ᓈᒻᒪᔪᐃᑦᑐᖅ
RTaco Since: Jul, 2009
#9: Mar 5th 2012 at 6:58:47 PM

We now know how the world will end. It's just a matter of when.

edited 5th Mar '12 6:58:56 PM by RTaco

DeMarquis Who Am I? from Hell, USA Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
#10: Mar 5th 2012 at 6:59:29 PM

Yeah, sure, call me when they invent a robot Rhino...

"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
MarkVonLewis Since: Jun, 2010
#11: Mar 5th 2012 at 7:06:08 PM

Dammit, DARPA is trying to put military folk out of work. The fuckers.

ohsointocats from The Sand Wastes Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
#12: Mar 5th 2012 at 7:10:33 PM

Eh, I think Big Dog is more impressive than the Cheetah, honestly. If only because I'm so used to watching robots fall down hilariously.

0dd1 Just awesome like that from Nowhere Land Since: Sep, 2009
Just awesome like that
#13: Mar 5th 2012 at 7:20:46 PM

I can only imagine how the meeting went to get the funding for this...

Government Man: So, what is it you're attempting to develop?
DARPA: Oh, the usual, just better computer tech, better vehicles, flesh-eating robots, b—
Government Man: Wait, what was that last one?
DARPA: Better vehicles?

edited 5th Mar '12 7:21:24 PM by 0dd1

Insert witty and clever quip here. My page, as the database hates my handle.
DirectorCannon Prima Donna Director from A cornfield in Indiana Since: Nov, 2011 Relationship Status: I want you to want me
Prima Donna Director
#14: Mar 5th 2012 at 8:34:35 PM

You know DARPA, thanks for the Internet, stealth bombers, drones and all, but seriously, dafuq?[lol]

"Urge to thump... rising." -Fighteer
MyGodItsFullofStars Since: Feb, 2011
#15: Mar 5th 2012 at 8:37:36 PM

[up][up]I can see the pitch now. "Oh, it is kind of like this:

But with robots".

IraTheSquire Since: Apr, 2010
#16: Mar 5th 2012 at 9:02:25 PM

Awesome, but:

a robot that can "eat" organics to power its fuel cells, and a machine brain the size of a cat's brain that is as smart as a cat (seriously, the DARPA challenge specifically mentions "cat" as its qualifier, both for intelligence level and size)

Source for those?

MyGodItsFullofStars Since: Feb, 2011
#17: Mar 5th 2012 at 9:15:23 PM

[up]It was awhile back, not sure I can find relevant articles, but here's a video of the robot (dubbed the Ecobot3)that can eat organics (it even poops!):

TheDeadMansLife Lover of masks. Since: Nov, 2009
Lover of masks.
#18: Mar 5th 2012 at 9:30:40 PM

And my mind immediately went to the hound from Fahrenheit 451.

Truthfully I suspect half of DARPA's ideas and projects are for the lulzs.

Please.
MyGodItsFullofStars Since: Feb, 2011
#19: Mar 5th 2012 at 9:46:14 PM

[up]They are actually DEADLY serious when it comes to getting more robot drones on the land, sea, and air. In fact, the entire military-industrial agenda in the USA has shifted to "use robots as force multipliers". You heard Obama saying as much at his last state of the union, for example.

And the strategy does make sense - the USA will never be able to take on a country like China or India when you try and play a numbers game, not economically nor militarily. Sure, the USA still has plenty of soft power, and we will likely control the seas for some time to come, but if it came to some kind of a major land war in Asia or simply a more aggressive economic stance the USA could likely be crushed within a matter of years. So it comes down to finding a way to even the odds, and robots are the way to do just that.

Deboss I see the Awesomeness. from Awesomeville Texas Since: Aug, 2009
ManInGray from Israel Since: Jul, 2011
#21: Mar 5th 2012 at 11:20:56 PM

They are actually DEADLY serious

Indeed.

AceofSpades Since: Apr, 2009 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
#22: Mar 6th 2012 at 12:05:34 AM

Put some kind of skin over the Big Dog and people will start treating it like a pet, I bet.

Minister Do Not Go Gentle Since: Jul, 2011 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Do Not Go Gentle
#23: Mar 6th 2012 at 12:16:56 AM

So, it seems we're leaving behind the Age of Terrorism for the Age of Super villainy.

I, for one, welcome our new robotic overlords.

It's your God, they're your rules, you go to hell." - Mark Twain
GameGuruGG Vampire Hunter from Castlevania (Before Recorded History)
Vampire Hunter
#24: Mar 6th 2012 at 1:00:09 AM

Well, there are practical applications to be considered when considering the building of robots. A cat is rather smart among the animals so making a robot cat will get us ever closer to robots as smart as a human. A robot that eats organics can easily feed off the land. A robot that can run as fast as a cheetah would also use legs, which have some advantages over wheeled vehicles.

Of course, with man-eating robot cheetahs and Newt's support for a moonbase, I support this new supervillain direction for the United States.

Wizard Needs Food Badly
thatguythere47 Since: Jul, 2010
#25: Mar 6th 2012 at 6:07:01 AM

"Gentlemen, the era of the rational is over. We need something our enemies will never see coming. Something so bizarre that enemy soldiers will run away in confused terror. Something so random that no rational being can look upon our creation and not think 'what the flying fuck?' Gentlemen, we need man-eating cheetah robots and we need them now."

Is using "Julian Assange is a Hillary butt plug" an acceptable signature quote?

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