"What are you?"

It's a really bad idea to ask someone this, but people do it anyway. Sometimes, it's the first question complete strangers ask me.

I have a hard time understanding this, because I was sort of sheltered (by parents) from race. Every time I tried to ask them questions on race (based on things I'd heard at school), they wouldn't answer the questions. But the issue of race kept coming up at school (in lots of different ways), so I figured it must be pretty important, if everyone's making such a big deal out of it.

Why do people do this, even though everyone says race no longer matters? Do they just have trouble relating to someone unless they know what race they are first? Couldn't they relate to the person based on something else, like personality or common interests (if they are going to get to know the person better)? If so, how can they believe that we're in a "post-racial world"?

Further, why is it that when I answer their questions, they don't believe my answers? Is there some correlation between race and appearance I'm missing? That's the only way I can explain the fact that so many people laugh at me, or say, "Are you sure?" when I answer that I'm black.

Mainly, I want to know why people ask these questions of multiracial people and then don't accept the answer they are given, and why people say "Race doesn't matter" when their actions say otherwise.

edited 31st Jan '12 2:55:57 PM by BlackElephant

I'm an elephant. Rurr.

Just to reiterate that reasoned and civil discussion is expected and enforced; because several threads on the topic of race have gone downhill fast, I will be watching this one.

A brighter future for a darker age.

You should answer as Albert Einstein did and say "human".

But yeah, "race no longer matters" is wishful thinking. "Race" should not matter, and in polite company one should certainly try to behave as if this were the case, but still.

I mean, not too long ago I was joking with my grandma about how I will almost certainly not marry an Italian, what with me non even living in Italy anymore, and she said "no problem, as long as she's not black".

Now, that was just a (extremely poor, yeah — cut the lady a break, she's awesome even though she has a very bizarre sense of humor) joke, I do not really think that she'd have any problem with that; but still, a world when "jokes" like this can be made is certainly not a post-racial world.

edited 31st Jan '12 3:07:56 PM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

I don't really care about persons race that much, I mean, human is human, whatever his color right? So why should we create artificial lines between each others just because our eyes are slightly different or our skin color is different? Even if skin color would be say black, what would actually mean? Guy could have come from anywhere in the world, from Antarctica to Africa.

It's not that easy. I mean, I don't want to do that either, but when a dark-skinned person approaches me while I am walking I often find myself assuming that they are panhandling or something like that instead of, you know, asking for directions.

In my defense, that's often (although not always) the case, at least in my home country — Black people there tend to be recent immigrants, many of whom are extremely poor. But on the other hand, it's also offensive: if I approached someone asking for directions, and I thought that they thought that I was asking for money, I would be extremely offended.

So I have to wonder: if skin tone colors my reactions like that in that specific circumstance, how can I be sure that it does not affect me in other ones? That's something I have to work on; but assuming that I am some sort of magical, absolutely rational being is not a very sensible strategy. Instead, I have to recognize in which circumstances my feelings may be conditioned, no matter how subconsciously, from irrelevant phenomena like that one, and pay special care to prevent my actions from being conditioned by those implicit prejudices.

edited 31st Jan '12 3:30:58 PM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

I guess because it might involve culture in a way. I mean, I grew up on turkish and italian food. That says something about me. Something different than my friend who eats home made chinese food.

And sometimes it's just a point of interest. Idle chatter.

Read my stories!

I ask mainly out of curiosity. Race isn't something I like to focus on at all, but it's still a part of a person and something for me to ask. I do wish people believed me when I said that I was half Mexican though. Many people say that I'm "Too white to be Mexican". Well given that the rest of heritage consists of very, very white cultures and that not all Mexicans and such are dark...

Most of the people I've met seem to ask out of curiosity as well. It's a way to relate to others and many connect race to culture. If you're racially Mexican then you are more likely to be culturally Mexican. Although you end up with the occasional anamoly like me who can relate to Thais and Israelis culturally due to spending large amounts of time with them. Which typically results in "YOU KNOW ABOUT BISLI AND THE WONDERS OF LATKES AND JELLY DONUTS FOR HOLIDAY DINNER?!"

Or for idle chatter. It's a standard question to ask. Like "How was your day?"

It is for the most part not something that seems to be done out of malice. The malicious racists I've known tend to not ask and instead assume things about your heritage and personality solely based on your appearance. Anyone vaguely Latino in appearance get labeled as lazy ass Mexicans and all blacks are ghetto assholes, as an example.

edited 31st Jan '12 3:53:18 PM by Aondeug

If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah

Actually, I have no idea "what I am". I know I have Spanish and Italian ancestry because of my last names (I'm from a country that keeps both last names). I don't know if I have additional blood, I've never made research.
"What you are" is not important, but interesting nevertheless, because that says something about your ancestors, your possible culture and significant history. The problem is when you take these things and use them as arguments against other people. They're just interest facts, that's all; things to talk about during lunch, but not worth the problem attacking each other because of it.

I don't know, I think a post racism world is one where we can make jokes about race and have everybody take it in good humor.

I'm mostly Russian, though I have a little German in my family line as well. Family tree goes back quite a ways.

Relevant quote from My Year of Meats:

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful

I think mostly it's out of curiousity. I won't ask someone this just for no reason though and then not believe them, I think that's rude. Maybe it's because I have lots of race mixing in my family (I have cousins that are part Indian, Filipino, white) but I just don't see it as a big deal. I myself am black. Nobody ever thinks that I'm white or anything, because it's pretty obvious I'm black, so I have no experience with people asking me this question (though people tend not to believe me when I say I was born in Canada because the stereotype of the "Great White North" and what not).

edited 31st Jan '12 5:37:25 PM by wuggles

I don't ask "what are you?", but I do like to ask where someone's family came from (In the US, except for the rare as hen's teeth 100% native americans, everyone's an Nth generation immigrant). Mostly out of curiosity and for cues as to their likely cultural identity.

A brighter future for a darker age.

I've had a bunch of people in Oklahoma ask if I was from Canada before. It's because I have an accent, so they assume that I'm not from the US.

After moving to Washington though, I had a lot of people look at me weirdly when I say that I grew up in Oklahoma, because I don't have a Midwestern or Southern accent.

In general though, I think that accent is one of the things that cause people to ask where you're from.

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

Similar to that, I'm frequently mistaken for American or Canadian (I'm an aussie living in Aussieland) because of my accent, which sounds funny to some folks.

I've been asked this many times, and I find it extremely annoying. I mean, I can understand the curiosity, I certainly get curious about other people's ancestry. But the "what are you" wording kind of seems unfortunate implication-y. And the question is difficult for me to answer. Culturally I'm pretty much fairly typical white-American, and I'm pretty sure I look it too. But I've Hispanic, Thai, white, blah blah blah ancestry. I don't really know how to word this, but I'm pretty sure when I give this long answer I come off like I'm trying to weasel my way out of having to just say I'm "white", because I want to seem special. I guess it would be easiest to just say I'm "white", but I don't know. My family doesn't really identify that way. It just feels extremely weird to call myself white when nobody in my family does.

edited 31st Jan '12 8:19:34 PM by Pingu

Apparently, a lot of times people assume that I am Indian, for some reason. Even Indians themselves have thought that at times.

I'm OK with this, I like India; but I don't get where they get it from, as far as I can tell my ancestry is entirely Italian (well, if we go back long enough, some sort of Gaulic/Roman/Germanic mixture, I suppose...)

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

Oh, I've also been mistaken for being ethnically German. My first name (Karl) is apparently a common name in Germany. (Karl Marx, Karl Donitz... geez, I'm not exactly in good company)

Oddly enough, since I think we're all just going to be Ambiguously Brown eventually, the people I meet in the present who already are have a vaguely 20 Minutes into the Future feel. It usually goes away when I learn more about them.

Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe.

Look, I totally get your sentiments here- my father has done a thing or two of which neither he or I are particularly proud, and I excuse him on the shoddy moral basis that he's my dad and he's done everything for me and generally he's really far from being a bad person. That's human nature.

But there's no need to mince words. A racist comment is a racist comment, not an expression of a "bizarre sense of humor".

edited 1st Feb '12 3:04:53 AM by TripleElation

Pretentious quote || In-joke from fandom you've never heard of || Shameless self-promotion || Something weird you'll habituate to

Yeah, the comment is definitely racist and in poor taste. I do not really think that she meant it, however, no more than people who like Dead Baby Comedy really think that putting a newborn in a blender would be a fun idea.

But given that people who really mean such things are, sadly, still existent, it is a terrible idea to say this sort of stuff, even in jest.

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

I have an unusual last name, which prompts some people to ask a variation of this question: "Is that [fill in a nationality here]?" Of course, I have no idea, but there you go.

On my end, I avoid asking people "What are you?" unless it is strictly relevant to the conversation at hand, which it rarely is.

Please spay/neuter your pets. Also, defang your copperheads.

I have never been asked this question. The closest I have been to this question is "are you Mexican?"

Man, I wish people would ask me this.

Please.

I've gotten "I thought you were Mexican" before. Since I don't really speak Spanish, he was weirded out.

Fight smart, not fair.

Don't know, mongrel probably would be the best way to describe me. Blue eyes, brown hair, pale skin, no freckles as such.

I say I'm Filipino-American when anyone asks me that question. No race involved, just my ethnic group and my nationality. Alternatively, I'll also say I'm Roman Catholic.