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Writer's Block:
The Yume-Hime Thread
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Total posts: [76]
 2  3 4

The Yume-Hime Thread:

 1 Wheezy, Wed, 25th Jan '12 11:02:35 PM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
...In which everything about Wheezy’s first webcomic will go.

After almost two years of tweaking the plot and learning to draw, I'm finally making this, and here's its thread.

In addition to posting the comic itself, I'll put concept art, bits of the draft script, any news related to it, and bloggy stuff about drawing and producing it here. I'll try to put something in it every day that life or my job doesn't intervene.

Anyway, the story...

In short, it's about a (deconstructed stereotype of an) otaku who dreams that her childhood alter-ego has to fight her demons.

It's slow-paced, told out of order, and kind of weird. There's Lots of Cerebus Syndrome.

It's not for everyone.

4/9/14 edit: I'd originally posted a design document, but I removed it because it was crap.

edited 9th Apr '14 2:26:18 PM by Wheezy

 2 Mr AHR, Thu, 26th Jan '12 4:58:07 AM from ಠ_ಠ Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river

I've been waiting for this! :D

—adds to watchlist—
 3 Wheezy, Sat, 28th Jan '12 11:09:42 PM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Today's update:

Variations on 12-13 year-old Laurie's character design.

It really surprises me how much subtle differences can make in a character's overall look.

A few notes:

  • All except the top left, which is about 5 months old and kind of crap, were done in the last week or two. The right one's still unfinished, but the closest to the final design. I accidentally drew the glasses too small without realizing it, but couldn't be assed redoing it because the whole thing from sketch to inking took me several hours*, and this is just a concept, not the final product. Oh well. Always next time.
  • At first I didn't want to give her such stereotypical Nerd Glasses, but they do such a good job of hiding her real emotions. When I tried drawing her without them, or making the lenses more transparent, she looked much less... Detached.
  • My character sketches' general lack of feet isn't because I don't like drawing them, but because I draw on 8.5 x 11 and always run out of room. It's still a dumb mistake on my part, I know, but at least it's not laziness.

I'll work on Yume next. She wears Requisite Royal Regalia, which is always a right pain in the ass to draw. Whee.

BTW: I've been trying to learn to shade in photoshop because all my drawings look flat without them. Not to mention filling in a large background spaces like Laurie's desk with pen shading is excruciating and looks terrible (I tried it after scanning that, then shoved the drawing in a cabinet because it looked so shitty.)

However, I digitally paint like of a toddler smacking a tablet with a ham hock, and take forever with the pen tool. I don't think these are problems that can be solved in time for the comic's final draft if I don't want to spend even longer in Development Hell.

edited 29th Jan '12 10:49:05 PM by Wheezy

 4 Mr AHR, Sun, 29th Jan '12 7:35:19 AM from ಠ_ಠ Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
I know some people use bangs to obscure faces, but I think the glasses work better.
 5 Wheezy, Sun, 29th Jan '12 10:43:36 PM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
I was too busy with work and family stuff to draw anything yesterday *, so here's a three-week-old sketch of Laurie's pet bird Tomodachi.

edited 30th Jan '12 5:29:28 AM by Wheezy

 6 Wheezy, Mon, 30th Jan '12 5:28:54 AM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Fanty has volunteered to do the shading.

This is so awesome. Like I don't even.
 7 chihuahua 0, Mon, 30th Jan '12 6:12:27 AM from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I'm in love with my car
Writer's Welcome Wagon
That's great shading. Seeing your drawings, I hope you two have a long and happy collaboration.

 8 Wheezy, Thu, 2nd Feb '12 12:18:57 PM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Too busy with work - and writing about drawing instead of actually drawing - over the past few days to update.

Anyway, I'm working on a drawing that'll probably take quite a while, so in the meantime, some random stuff.

  • I'll probably end up rewriting Eric's role. More specifically, at the "climax, " which I think goes too far. This has been bothering me for a while.
  • In fact, the ending bothers me in general. It's supposed to be bittersweet, but I don't know if it's too bitter.

Anyway, I'm just talking to myself at this point. See you when that drawing's done.
 9 Yuri Strike, Thu, 2nd Feb '12 8:48:20 PM from I'm telling nobody!
When I saw Tomodachi I went d'awww. I love parakeets!
 10 Oh So Into Cats, Thu, 2nd Feb '12 9:22:40 PM from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Holy shit I love your style.

It's reminiscient of some of the stuff I read in my comics aesthetics class. It's nice and clean and deceptively simple.

 11 Wheezy, Sat, 4th Feb '12 7:10:51 PM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Rendering realistic Requisite Royal Regalia's really rough.

edited 4th Feb '12 9:22:52 PM by Wheezy

 12 Wheezy, Mon, 6th Feb '12 1:10:48 AM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Drawings I've thrown out recently for not being good enough since my last major update: 12 and counting.

It's 4 AM, I'm tired, and I've pretty much spent my entire four-day weekend trying to draw things and failing, then tossing them in the box in my closet where I keep all my rejects.

That and playing Team Fortress 2 sometimes, but mostly the former.

A huge part of the reason I work so damn slow is because I have such a Long List of complaints about pretty much everything I draw.

For example, I hate my work on all those drawings in the first picture post, especially that last one, which was only half-finished when I posted it. Fanty's shading was the only good thing about it. The glasses are too small and too rough, the right hand's too small, the head's unnaturally close to the shoulders, the angles of the head and the body subtly don't match, the body is about 2/10s of an inch off-center relative to the head, the clothing folds are too simplistic, and so on, and so on.

I have no idea how I'm going to work on a deadline, which I'll have to, since I'm going to try to force myself to put out at least a page a week. Preferably two or three, depending on how complex they are.

Edit: Actually, the one of Laurie at her desk is OK, but I drew her nose too small and her computer monitor has a stray line I couldn't correct.

edited 6th Feb '12 1:37:35 AM by Wheezy

 13 fanty, Mon, 6th Feb '12 3:21:09 AM from ANGRYTOWN
Woefully Ineloquent
Well, one thing one has to remember, is that you yourself are the only one who will really see all those flaws. Everybody else, especially the average webcomic reader, will look at the drawings at a surface level, and, in a comic, every drawing will only get a few second long glance.
Individual liberation is an illusion.
 14 Mr AHR, Mon, 6th Feb '12 4:38:36 AM from ಠ_ಠ Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
Wheezy: I always see it as this:

It doesn't matter if it sucks. You have that idea in your head, and it needs to get out. So draw it in all its sucky glory, so you may finally be at peace.
 15 Wheezy, Sun, 26th Feb '12 10:28:06 PM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Busy with work (they gave me full-time hours for almost two weeks), car problems, and another major project for the moment.

Will update soon.
 16 Mr AHR, Tue, 28th Feb '12 9:27:41 AM from ಠ_ಠ Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river

—waits patiently—
 17 Wheezy, Fri, 1st Jun '12 7:24:28 PM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Random story: I'm visiting my mom in the neighborhood where I grew up tonight. She doesn't have internet, so I'm stopped at a Mc Donald's to use theirs for a while.

I'm sitting at a table right next to a guy I went to middle school with who directly inspired Eric. He doesn't recognize me.

Anyway, my move to another city's done, my car's been fixed, and I'm kind of between jobs right now, so I have time to work on this. There will be stuff posted here within a week.

edited 1st Jun '12 7:25:45 PM by Wheezy

 18 Wheezy, Wed, 9th Apr '14 2:33:27 PM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Well, that was a long week.

...But at least it was a productive one. I spent it writing the entire story out as one big 65, 000-word novel.

After much internal debate, I've decided to share the first third of it.

It can be found here.

All I ask is that if you read more than a page or two of it, leave me at least one word about what you thought. (But more detailed crits are even better, of course.) Even if that word is "turdmountain, " it's fine. I'm going for an honest opinion poll, not compliments.

I'm only posting the first third because I intentionally left the rest as a rough draft. It'll be a long time before the adaptation reaches the end of this section, and I want to leave room to improvise.

And some side notes:

  1. In case anyone's wondering, the whole story won't be this slow-paced. The first third just sets things up, and the tone changes drastically after this part. The second third is about Yume's descent into the world of nightmares, the Lovecraftian demons she finds there, Kristyn, and how Laurie went from her happy childhood to her depressed and lonely present. The final third is about the foretold end of the world, Yume's confrontation with "the one behind all, " Laurie's struggling to accept reality and herself, the story of her parents, and what happened with Ben and Eric.
  2. Yes, there are a ton of Shout Outs. Yes, the final version will have footnotes explaining them. But for now, if anyone's confused by any of it, just ask and I'll explain.

edited 9th Apr '14 2:33:42 PM by Wheezy

 19 Wheezy, Fri, 11th Apr '14 7:16:56 AM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
So, it has a website, with a domain, and a first page that was kind of shoved out the door before it was fully dressed.

But at least it's finally coming to fruition.

edited 11th Apr '14 7:21:07 AM by Wheezy

 20 Wheezy, Fri, 18th Apr '14 2:40:40 AM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Page 3!

The domain name server's temporarily down, but you can access it through that link.

edited 3rd May '14 7:11:22 PM by Wheezy

 21 Mr AHR, Fri, 18th Apr '14 6:42:43 AM from ಠ_ಠ Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
Ooooh. Yay.

That painting seems odd to be painted, since the lines look like pencil, or she's adding something new on with paint/ink individually.
 22 Wheezy, Fri, 18th Apr '14 8:10:24 AM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
She's beginning to paint over a sketch. That little smudge of tone is the first brushstroke.
 23 Wheezy, Mon, 21st Apr '14 9:47:46 PM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Page 4.

Yes, it took forever, as anyone who looks at my stuff the Visual Arts forum might have noticed.

I'm improved since I started drawing this panel two weeks ago, but I'm beginning to wonder if I should even try to keep up this level of detail.

edited 3rd May '14 7:11:10 PM by Wheezy

 24 Wheezy, Sat, 3rd May '14 7:10:30 PM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Page 5...

...Took an inexcusable and probably unsustainable amount of time.

Also, like every other page, I've noticed only after posting that it needs a lot more editing, and I should probably change the newspapers on the other pages to be consistent, but it's a page. And it's there now.

edited 3rd May '14 7:25:42 PM by Wheezy

 25 Wheezy, Sun, 11th May '14 12:28:06 AM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Page 6.

...Contains 53 bits of photos stitched together.

edited 11th May '14 12:47:14 AM by Wheezy

Total posts: 76
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