Post the creepiest pick-up lines!

The title says it all - try coming up with really, really disturbing pick-up lines. I'll kick us off.

"Nice skin. It'd look good on my bedroom floor."

"I wish to bear your lice."

"Hi, I'm a troper!"

Your turn.

What's precedent ever done for us?

Taken from a (very nice, in a creepy way) song by De Andre: "if they hacked you to pieces, the wind would collect them."

Other possible ideas:

• "You look like my mother. Do you want a drink?"
• "Can I lick your hair?"
• (From a male to a female) "I want to bear your children"*
  Maybe this one could actually be sort of funny, if said with the right tone, though...

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

A personal favorite of mine (In terms of amusingly horrible)

"I'm a pirate and I yearn for the treasure between your legs"

"My life is my own" | If you want to contact me privately, please ask first on the forum.

*sniff* Your hair smell nice. Pity the ones on your head don't.

STEALTH!!!

At least thirty seconds' worth of silence, then:

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!

Nice face. Can I have it?

From female to male. "Doctor, doctor, I just want you to father my young."

"Our particles are estranging one another."

"I can't just get enough of you!"

AND...

(To widow/er...at a wake) "Hey, you single?"

edited 3rd Jan '12 7:23:57 AM by chihuahua0

"My cock seeks out the forces of darkness, and it's pointing at you."

Swordsman Troper — Reclaiming The Blade — Watch

Eh, the ones I can think of are the nerdy goodies: "wanna see my Staff of Penetration?", "I wanna be tangent to your curves".

"Atheism is the religion whose followers are easiest to troll"

Halfway between creepy and genuinely funny:

If I asked you for a date, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

My dick is dead, can I bury it in your pussy?

I wish you were my nose so I could pick you ;)

Insert witty and clever quip here. My page, as the database hates my handle.

I WANT TO BRUTALLY RAPE YOU WITH MY DICK!

• <stare>

Girl: What ?

• <stare, begins to drool>

Girl: ...What ?

• <come closer to her ear>
• And now, you can tell her anything. That will be creepy as hell. Personal favorite: "HI GIIIIIRL! :D"

edited 3rd Jan '12 2:16:11 PM by DhanaRagnarok

Look upon my R.O.U.S., ye mighty, and despair!

"This drink must be high in molesterol, 'cause I want to rub you all over."

Also, pretty much half of what this guy says.

And to say I was nervous... it wouldn't be quite enough.

"Are you interested in a union? Because I'd like to execute my Anaconda Plan in your South."

"Do you come from Planet Hollywood? Because your ass is out of this world."

One of those was used in a horrible story, on a horrible, creepy character.

edited 3rd Jan '12 9:02:35 PM by BlackElephant

I'm an elephant. Rurr.

"You remind me of the moon. Want me to be the man in you?"

"I sense... *sniff sniff* fertility!"

"I'm into BDSM, especially the kind where I keep you in my basement forever."

"What you call a pick-up line, I call a formality."

"Underpants are no longer legal in this state. Better make sure you don't get arrested."

Panhandling sign glued to hands. Need $5 for solvent.

"If I told you I had a beautiful body would you not call the cops when I hold it against you?"

Gimme yer lunch money, dweeb.

"Your eyes are as blue as a body in the icebox, your hair is as brown as cemetary dirt, and your skin would look amazing on me. Let's make babies."

(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)

• Wow! You're cuter than the girls in my car trunk put together!
• Let's go play doctor! You be the patient, I'll be the pathologist!
• (Creep close and right under her ear, yell:) "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

In porto perse vitulus est.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Bigotry will NEVER be welcome on TV Tropes.

Hey there beautiful~ Wanna come to my place? I can tell about when I was on second grade!

• You remind me of someone I knew.
• Who?
• My ex. You are as cute as she was.
• Wait! Are you hitting on me?
• She'd be wagging her tail by now.

In porto perse vitulus est.

"Hey, I have a spot in my base- I mean bed room just for you!"

Wow! Those honkers are huge! The must contain lots...

And lots...

And lots............(lick your lips)

Of blood. Sweeeeeet, delicious (do the Homer Simpson "glaaaaaaargh" noise) blood.

In porto perse vitulus est.

You don't need to see enough Hentai to know where this is going...

On another note, want to see my octopus?

(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)